FWB

[Arizona79]

Hiii everyone!

So I’ve been sleeping with someone that I would not say we’re friends but it’s more than just booty call. 
We’ve been intimate for over 2 years. Each time it gets better and better. We both have bedroom kinks, he can be a top or bottom. Amazing sex. 
I’m 50 he’s 36. No drama.

Both have an understanding no feelings involved.(I like him a lot)

 Lately after sex hes been saying he wanted to end it but can’t that he’s obsessed. He needs it etc (I understand because I am the same way too) 

he has mentioned wanting to have lunch/dinner.Wants to know more about me etc (That confuses me) but I would hang out with him. 

I need some advice because I don’t want a relationship. But I do want to continue having sex. I understand the age gap. 
Hes realllllly handsome. 
I was thinking about cutting him off because it’s after every time we have sex he says “I can’t continue doing this, I’m obsessed. You’re no good for me”

He ends up once again returning. I on the other hand, think it but don’t say it cause I’m enjoying it.  

I am a heterosexual female and I love that he lets me experiment on him. He’s a SUB
I guess I’m confused cause he’s confusing me. So I guess there is drama… lol

 

Edited December 1, 2024 by Arizona79

[ExpatInItaly]

I would end this, yes. 

You say you don't want a relationship, but you clearly have feelings for him. That will wind up coming back to bite you once he meets someone he wants tp date, and stops coming around to see you. 

 

[Arizona79]

Hi Thank you for responding. Sadly enough you are right. I didn’t understand the dynamics. The confusion came in from why does he always want to end it and then say he wants to hangout but always returns. I do enjoy the interaction. But thank you 😊 

[ExpatInItaly]

46 minutes ago, Arizona79 said:

why does he always want to end it and then say he wants to hangout but always returns

For the sex. 

[Arizona79]

34 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

For the sex. 

Ha! Thank you again. Well I want the sex too. He could leave all the extra commentary out and just have sex. 🤣 

As I’m reevaluating the encounters I might just have to end it. I think about ending it a lot but it might be time. 
I also believe there is some shame in the things we do. It comes up in our conversations. His fear of his fetishes. This is quite complex. But simple at the same time. 
 

sorry for the essay 

I appreciate your feedback 

 

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, Arizona79 said:

Ha! Thank you again. Well I want the sex too. He could leave all the extra commentary out and just have sex.

He could. Either way, I would ignore it and focus on the fact that this isn't likely goino to ever develop into anything more. 

2 hours ago, Arizona79 said:

I also believe there is some shame in the things we do. It comes up in our conversations. His fear of his fetishes. This is quite complex. But simple at the same time.

Maybe, but that's also his stuff to deal with. Not yours. I wouldn't delve into any of that too deeply, since you two are not an item and it's going to be important to maintain some firmer boundaries moving forward (if you do in fact call it off) 

[Arizona79]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

He could. Either way, I would ignore it and focus on the fact that this isn't likely goino to ever develop into anything more. 

Maybe, but that's also his stuff to deal with. Not yours. I wouldn't delve into any of that too deeply, since you two are not an item and it's going to be important to maintain some firmer boundaries moving forward (if you do in fact call it off) 

I have to. For several reasons.

 You’re right it is his s*** ( I have suggested he go to therapy)

I never felt distracted till this week. I’m not sure if it’s feelings but I do care. Lots of soul searching for me!

I don’t date and he has been the person I have been with for 2-3 years. I came out of a divorce 3-4 years ago. 
 

I just appreciate the feedback. I’m not wrapped up in love. I am confused. 😵‍💫 

 

 

[happyhorizons]

6 hours ago, Arizona79 said:

Ha! Thank you again. Well I want the sex too. He could leave all the extra commentary out and just have sex. 🤣 

As I’m reevaluating the encounters I might just have to end it. I think about ending it a lot but it might be time. 
I also believe there is some shame in the things we do. It comes up in our conversations. His fear of his fetishes. This is quite complex. But simple at the same time. 
 

sorry for the essay 

I appreciate your feedback 

 

Is the age difference the reason that there is no possibility of a any sort of relationship or is there another reason?

[ExpatInItaly]

3 hours ago, Arizona79 said:

I never felt distracted till this week. I’m not sure if it’s feelings but I do care. Lots of soul searching for me!

It's understandable that you have developed feelings for him. It just seems he has been clear it won't go further, so this is where I would suggest you bow out to protect your own heart. 

[Georgia46]

If you are both happy with the arrangement why do you have to end it? 
 

if both of you have agreed it’s just about sex why can’t it just be about that? 
 

if however you want more … that’s where it gets messy.  It sounds like he cares too though… 

[Arizona79]

8 hours ago, happyhorizons said:

Is the age difference the reason that there is no possibility of an any sort of relationship or is there another reason?

Honestly Idk. He has 2 children. He worries bout his children a lot. Is getting a divorce. We have rules in place. If either of us sleep with anyone we would be honest and tell each other. Always provide STD testing. I love the connection. I’m just confused right now. In the beginning he did sleep with someone and told me provided proof of being STD free.  He stated last time I saw him he wanted to do something that progressed into something for the long term. I was being naive  “a class?”  I’m not sure. 

[ExpatInItaly]

5 hours ago, Arizona79 said:

He stated last time I saw him he wanted to do something that progressed into something for the long term. I was being naive  “a class?”

I don't understand what this means. 

[Arizona79]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:I don't understand what this means. 

Yea me neither. That’s when I suggested therapy. Idk he has his own thing going on. We briefly texted tonight and now it’s back to he’s leaving Porn and taking a break. (Every time we have an encounter that is experimental boom he’s staying clean. Then comes crawling back can’t help it etc) I understand this is his own stuff. Let’s see what happens this time. The elephant in the room needs to be addressed. 

10 hours ago, happyhorizons said:

Is the age difference the reason that there is no possibility of a any sort of relationship or is there another reason?

 

[ExpatInItaly]

5 minutes ago, Arizona79 said:

now it’s back to he’s leaving Porn and taking a break. (Every time we have an encounter that is experimental boom he’s staying clean.

What does this mean? 

He works in porn? Or he is addicted? 

[Arizona79]

2 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

What does this mean? 

He works in porn? Or he is addicted? 

Since we started having sex after he sees me he always mentions being addicted to sex. The things we do. I give him space and he returns saying he can’t help himself. At first I thought it he was over exaggerating but then now I’m realizing the pattern. 

[ExpatInItaly]

I still don't get what you mean by this, exactly: 

3 hours ago, Arizona79 said:

he’s leaving Porn and taking a break

 

[Arizona79]

34 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

I still don't get what you mean by this, exactly: 

 

I apologize I missed writing he is leaving porn alone and taking a break from sex. 

[Arizona79]

1 hour ago, Arizona79 said:

I apologize I missed writing he is leaving porn alone and taking a break from sex. 

Meaning he’s taking a break from watching porn