HowlingWulf Posted December 2 Share Posted December 2 (edited) Everytime I reach women I feel like in these movies where a guy get closer to the popular girl by becoming her "gay friend", they always seem to talk with me stuff they wouldn't for others, do confessions etc. How do I become friend of a girl without becoming her priest? Also, how can I signal that I'm available to be "more than a friend" when I'm interested in one? Edited December 2 by HowlingWulf Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted December 2 Share Posted December 2 So, do you want to become her friend, or her romantic partner? Please understand that those too are completely different things. You don’t start with friendship and then become “more than friend”. You either start as a friend and remain a friend, or you start right away with a sincere, clearly communicated romantic intention. Also, I don’t quite see what is wrong with confessions, either in a love relationship or within the framework of friendship. My romantic partner and I have confessed to each other our deepest, darkest secrets. There is nothing “gay” in that, being open about each other is one of the prerequisites for a good relationship. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 3 Share Posted December 3 13 hours ago, HowlingWulf said: How do I become friend of a girl without becoming her priest? Female friendships involve sharing of the good, the bad and the ugly. If you're not up for her confiding in you, don't be a friend 13 hours ago, HowlingWulf said: Also, how can I signal that I'm available to be "more than a friend" when I'm interested in one? If you feel she's got some interest in you too, then you ask her on a date Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author HowlingWulf Posted December 3 Author Share Posted December 3 (edited) On 12/2/2024 at 11:07 AM, Gebidozo said: You don’t start with friendship and then become “more than friend”. You either start as a friend and remain a friend, or you start right away with a sincere, clearly communicated romantic intention. I've always thought the opposite, but this clearly didn't worked out. Anyway, what do you mean by "a sincere, clearly communicated romantic intention."? 15 hours ago, basil67 said: Female friendships involve sharing of the good, the bad and the ugly. If you're not up for her confiding in you, don't be a friend I hardly can see they talking that way with their other male friends, the latest gossip like "You wouldn't believe what Susan did...". I feel that I'm giving the wrong energy. Edited December 3 by HowlingWulf Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 3 Share Posted December 3 (edited) 3 hours ago, HowlingWulf said: I've always thought the opposite, but this clearly didn't worked out. Anyway, what do you mean by "a sincere, clearly communicated romantic intention."? Start as you wish to continue: If you want friendship, start with friendship. If you want to date her, ask her on a date. Quote I hardly can see they talking that way with their other male friends, the latest gossip like "You wouldn't believe what Susan did...". I feel that I'm giving the wrong energy. Sorry, I thought you meant that you want to be a close female friend where you spend 1:1 time with her. If you want casual female friends, you need a friend group which has people of both genders who hang out together. Edited December 3 by basil67 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted December 4 Share Posted December 4 9 hours ago, HowlingWulf said: I've always thought the opposite, but this clearly didn't worked out. Anyway, what do you mean by "a sincere, clearly communicated romantic intention."? I mean, don’t try to be friends with a girl if that’s not what you’re after. If you have romantic feelings for her, make it clear. Invite her out on a date. Say romantic things to her if the atmosphere is right. And so on. Don’t just hang out with her as a buddy. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author HowlingWulf Posted December 16 Author Share Posted December 16 On 12/3/2024 at 4:21 PM, basil67 said: If you want casual female friends, you need a friend group which has people of both genders who hang out together. This makes more sense, thanks On 12/3/2024 at 4:21 PM, basil67 said: Start as you wish to continue: If you want friendship, start with friendship. If you want to date her, ask her on a date. On 12/3/2024 at 10:27 PM, Gebidozo said: I mean, don’t try to be friends with a girl if that’s not what you’re after. If you have romantic feelings for her, make it clear. Invite her out on a date. Say romantic things to her if the atmosphere is right. And so on. Don’t just hang out with her as a buddy. Sorry If I'm bothering, but how I'm supposed to invite a person to a date without being at least her friend? This wouldn't be creepy? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted Monday at 04:46 AM Share Posted Monday at 04:46 AM 1 hour ago, HowlingWulf said: This makes more sense, thanks Sorry If I'm bothering, but how I'm supposed to invite a person to a date without being at least her friend? This wouldn't be creepy? If it gets to the point of being friends then you've already missed the dating point. You can ask a woman out after a few sentences have been exchanged. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted Monday at 06:11 AM Share Posted Monday at 06:11 AM 3 hours ago, HowlingWulf said: Sorry If I'm bothering, but how I'm supposed to invite a person to a date without being at least her friend? This wouldn't be creepy? Of course not. What’s creepy in liking a woman romantically, being honest about it, and asking her out on a date? That’s how people usually start romantic relationships. On the contrary, creepy would be pretending to be her friend while secretly harboring romantic feelings. Naturally, if she says “no”, trying over and over again and bothering her would be creepy as well. But you have to try first. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author HowlingWulf Posted Friday at 04:35 PM Author Share Posted Friday at 04:35 PM Ok, I've got it. You girls answered the "how can I signal that..." part, but still it's the "Everytime I reach women I feel like..." that I can't understand, everytime I try to reach them I feel like a fool, take my mom for example: everytime I ignore her she complains, but when I give kisses and hugs she starts to treat me awfully, how can I be (genuinely) nice to women? without becoming servile. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted Friday at 09:14 PM Share Posted Friday at 09:14 PM First up, what's going on with your mother? What you describe here isn't a normal mother son relationship. Your ignoring her is not OK, and her "treating you awfully" is not OK. Going back to your opening post, you be warm, inclusive and friendly, but don't be delving into all their issues and problems with them. Make your mates your #1 priority, but also be friendly with the girls. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author HowlingWulf Posted 16 hours ago Author Share Posted 16 hours ago 12 hours ago, basil67 said: First up, what's going on with your mother? What you describe here isn't a normal mother son relationship. Your ignoring her is not OK, and her "treating you awfully" is not OK. My bad, I'm so ashamed. English is not my first tongue so I tend to use harsh language but I didn't really mean it, "ignore" and "awfully" weren't my best choices hehe 12 hours ago, basil67 said: Going back to your opening post, you be warm, inclusive and friendly, but don't be delving into all their issues and problems with them. Make your mates your #1 priority, but also be friendly with the girls. I think you are right, sometimes I dive too deep into others lives, thank you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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