Should I just give up on love?

[Ananymous1]

Hello, 

It has been 5 years since I broke up with my ex, I remember when the pandemic broke out,  I was grieving. I am a tutor and I have been teaching online since then. Financially speaking, I have been very successful, I have now students who live in different countries, from England to Canada and Australia. I was 32 back then and I had nothing, but now 5 years later I have my own house , a decent car and a job that can be considered a high-paying job at least compared to the standards of living in my country. The first two or three years were really hard for me, I licked my wounds almost every night and wore my bravest mask in the morning , I put my luggage which was full of sorrow and pain behind the door of every class I had to attend and gave my best because I felt responsible for the future of my students  and well for the last two years I have been very obsessed with making more money and saving enough money for my retirement. 

During this time sometimes I felt I needed to start  another relationship, sometimes I felt empty inside but never had the time or perhaps the courage to start another relationship until 2 weeks ago when one of my students told me she needed help and that she wanted to talk with me face-to-face, so for the first time in 5 years I just went out with someone, I can't believe I am saying this , I remember when I was in my 20s I was not alone for even a single day. She was a girl in her mid 30s , she was beautiful and you know it seemed that she was somehow sort of attracted to me,  two days ago she texted me again and this time we just went out to spend our time together without any excuses of any kind.

I have been thinking about her since that day and well I feel that I am not in control of emotions again. I  have the same feelings I had at the end of my last relationship, I feel insecure , keep checking my phone to see whether she has texted back and feel there is something wrong when she doesn't reply for a couple of hours. I feel insecure again and I'm really worried because I know where this is headed . She is a confident strong woman and well I am just a confident strong teacher in my classes. I feel I have no self-confidence in my personal relationships anymore , not after my last toxic relationship with a manipulative partner with whom I was deeply in . I have waited this long and I still have the same feelings I had during the last few months of my last relationship I  think I am broken beyond repair. should I just stop dating her ? 

Help me please, I don't know what to do anymore 

[Gebidozo]

I hear you. I also went through a difficult breakup and then started a new relationship and anxiety completely overtook me. This has nothing to do with giving up on love, you just need to work on your anxiety issues. You’re still dragging a lot of baggage from the previous relationship with you. In reality, no two relationships are alike and it’s in your power to eliminate or at least tone down your anxiety. Make sure you deal with it, either through therapy or at least working on yourself consistently. Remember, this has nothing to do with love, it’s just your fear speaking.