ConfusedChud Posted December 9, 2024 Share Posted December 9, 2024 Good evening everyone, I'm finding myself to be in a very confusing situation. During Thanksgiving, I was celebrating it with some friends and there was a longtime friend who I hadn't seen in while. So we were talking and catching up. At some point, she came over to me and we started talking about what we were drinking and what we've been up to and catching up. She proceeded to tell me that she likes the drink that I was having but that she likes it with lemonade. So I proceeded to grab a lemon for her and she volunteered to help. So we were just there working as a team. Shortly there after, we proceeded to talk and we were both just staring into each other's eyes. Our convo ended and the night was about to end shortly after until a friend stated that we should do a group photo which we did. This is when things took an interesting turn. As I was about to start walking back towards the bar area, the girl I had been speaking to and helped serve her drink walked past my, brushed by my side, and proceeded to grab my fingers/hands. I automatically locked my fingers with hers without any second thoughts. Right after that we both just kept on walking and didn't say anything. A minute or two later, she came up to me, smiling, as we stared into each other's eyes and said our goodbyes. She came over again the day after and I was washing some cups to brew some coffee and offered her some and she said "sure" and came on over to help me make it. We were just there next to each other up to a point where her face was incredibly close to mine. We just kept on hugging each other and touching each other nonstop. This was driving me insane and decided to finally bring this up and ask her. I was finally able to see her again Friday and had her alone and when I was about to ask her about this situation, we got interrupted by her roommate. She supposedly came up from to confirm who was in their home. So I shortly left afterwards as these people were just lurking snooping around. Today I decided to bring this up since I'm not sure when I'll get to see her again and I decided to tell her of only the handholding thing and she took a while to respond to that. Ultimately, she said that she didn't think much of it or thought that she did it to say goodbye but that she couldn't say for certain. I didn't give it any push back and just let it be. She clearly is either throwing mixed signals or maybe she didn't mean anything at all. But is this normal behavior? Why would she do this at all? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 9, 2024 Share Posted December 9, 2024 Eh, it sounds like she enjoyed the attention in the moment but that's about it. But I am confused about this: 5 hours ago, ConfusedChud said: decided to tell her of only the handholding thing and she took a while to respond to that. Ultimately, she said that she didn't think much of it or thought that she did it to say goodbye but that she couldn't say for certain. Did you think she didn't remember? Or is she playing it off like she doesn't remember because she'd been drinking? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedChud Posted December 9, 2024 Author Share Posted December 9, 2024 1 minute ago, ExpatInItaly said: Eh, it sounds like she enjoyed the attention in the moment but that's about it. But I am confused about this: Did you think she didn't remember? Or is she playing it off like she doesn't remember because she'd been drinking? When I asked her about it she definitely remembered but she claimed to not be sure as to why did she did so. Whether it was to say goodbye or not. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 9, 2024 Share Posted December 9, 2024 I see. Well, if you want to be sure, ask her for a coffee or something. Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted December 9, 2024 Share Posted December 9, 2024 This could be anything, really. Maybe she was just playing around, or being in a weird mood, and it meant nothing to her, or maybe she is interested in you and wants you to be a bit more active. Only one way to find out: if you like her, ask her out on a date, and take it from there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedChud Posted December 9, 2024 Author Share Posted December 9, 2024 7 hours ago, Gebidozo said: This could be anything, really. Maybe she was just playing around, or being in a weird mood, and it meant nothing to her, or maybe she is interested in you and wants you to be a bit more active. Only one way to find out: if you like her, ask her out on a date, and take it from there. I just find it odd that she did all these things and mentioned that they didn't mean anything to her. I'm just going to take her word for it and just leave it at that. She has mentioned before she is not looking for a relationship so I'm not going to force her into something she doesn't want. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 10, 2024 Share Posted December 10, 2024 13 hours ago, ConfusedChud said: She has mentioned before she is not looking for a relationship Woman here. I would never say this to a guy I was actually interested in. This right here is your cue to leave it be. She enjoyed your attention in the moment and maybe the booze lowered some inhibitions, but she is now signalling to you that it won't go further. Sometimes these things really don't mean much more than a fun time for a few hours. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedChud Posted December 10, 2024 Author Share Posted December 10, 2024 3 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Woman here. I would never say this to a guy I was actually interested in. This right here is your cue to leave it be. She enjoyed your attention in the moment and maybe the booze lowered some inhibitions, but she is now signalling to you that it won't go further. Sometimes these things really don't mean much more than a fun time for a few hours. If this truly is the case. Then shame. Thought meant more than that but her reluctancy proved otherwise. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 10, 2024 Share Posted December 10, 2024 It's disappointing, I know. But I would also encourage you not to apply too much meaning to things like this: On 12/9/2024 at 3:17 AM, ConfusedChud said: So I proceeded to grab a lemon for her and she volunteered to help. So we were just there working as a team. This isn't really "working as a team" - it was just making a drink together. Link to post Share on other sites
fred123 Posted December 10, 2024 Share Posted December 10, 2024 3 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Woman here. I would never say this to a guy I was actually interested in. This right here is your cue to leave it be. She enjoyed your attention in the moment and maybe the booze lowered some inhibitions, but she is now signalling to you that it won't go further. Sometimes these things really don't mean much more than a fun time for a few hours. What if a girl says she just looking for fun and is single Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 10, 2024 Share Posted December 10, 2024 1 hour ago, fred123 said: What if a girl says she just looking for fun and is single If that was what this woman had said and that was all OP was looking for, then great. However, she didn't say that and OP didn't imply he wanted that. So I am not sure how your question is relevant to this situation, Fred. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedChud Posted December 10, 2024 Author Share Posted December 10, 2024 9 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: If that was what this woman had said and that was all OP was looking for, then great. However, she didn't say that and OP didn't imply he wanted that. So I am not sure how your question is relevant to this situation, Fred. I feel that I should clarify on this part. She hasn't explicitly said this directly to me. It's what other's have told me that she has said in private. Which is why I made a point to bring it up. She has never said those words to me. Regardless, I truly don't know where we stand and I'm planning to go see her tonight. I just dont know whether to not bring anything up or not or just let the night play itself out. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 10, 2024 Share Posted December 10, 2024 6 minutes ago, ConfusedChud said: Regardless, I truly don't know where we stand and I'm planning to go see her tonight. I just dont know whether to not bring anything up or not or just let the night play itself out. Seems pretty clear that the standing is one of casual friends who once flirted a bit at a party. I would not bring it up Link to post Share on other sites
Author ConfusedChud Posted December 10, 2024 Author Share Posted December 10, 2024 20 minutes ago, basil67 said: Seems pretty clear that the standing is one of casual friends who once flirted a bit at a party. I would not bring it up So basically just let it be. I think I'll be okay with that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 11, 2024 Share Posted December 11, 2024 9 hours ago, ConfusedChud said: So basically just let it be. Yes, I think this is best. If she were more interested, she likely would have signalled that in some way when you asked about the previous interactions. But what do you mean you're planning on seeing her tonight? Where? Link to post Share on other sites
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