Tony could you please help

[Rebecca]

Hi,

 

 

 

I guess I posted a message a day ago or so. I do agree with what I have read but I wanted to get your opinion on this too and anyone else who could offer advice.

 

 

 

My boyfriend and I have been seeing eachother for awhile now. It will be 4 years soon. I love him to bits. We are both mature adults.

 

 

 

What is bothering me right now is the fact that he has penthouse magazines in his house. He hides them in his drawers and all this time I had no idea. He showed them to me when I casually asked him if he has any porn mags at home. He said yes. He took one out to let me see. I of course was okay with it at first but after a while I started to feel weird. I don't mind him looking at beautiful woman but not in that way. I know I can't compete with the women in the mags but I fear that somehow I don't turn him on sexually or he needs to be completely fulfilled sexually by reading such trash.

 

 

 

He is good to me although we do have our occasional arguments. I just wished he was more open with me about this earlier.

 

 

 

This is normal right? I have nothing to worry about right?

 

 

I mean those girls are just gorgeous and I don't want to ever control what my boyfriend looks at or does but I wish he never told me about it.

 

 

 

Could someone please advise.

 

 

Thanks,

 

 

Rebecca

[Tony T]

1. "This is normal right?"

 

I really don't know how to answer you on this one. Some guys hide and look at girly magazines when they're teens and give it up as they get older. Some don't get into those types of magazines until they get older. Many men have no interest in these. Many men look at naked women on the Internet. Internet porn is the highest grossing business on the web, making more than $1 billion per year.

 

I really don't see anything wrong with a man having these magazines and I think he'd be stupid if he didn't hide them. You just don't leave them around for visitors to view. He was also honest by showing them to you.

 

2. "I have nothing to worry about right?"

 

I don't think so. They don't print the models addresses or phone numbers in these magazines. If you're guy didn't like to look at naked females, then I would say you had something to worry about.

 

If you go out and gain 100 pounds, I would say that would have grounds to start worrying.

 

You may as well face it, the majority of men admire the female body and enjoy looking at it, whether it's in magazines, on the Internet, in movies, on cable TV or in person.

 

You can't fight this fact.

[Miss Mojo]

hi rebecca,

 

what i sense from your posts more than anything is a major feeling of insecurity, as though you have something to live up to. you don't, so please don't even think about comparing yourself. your boyfriend sees in you things that he can't even begin to see from these airbrushed women in magazines.

 

you obviously feel that you don't live up to the women in these magazines, but why would you want to? while a guy looks at porn, very few would want one of these chicks as their own.....if i were a guy, i sure as hell wouldn't want a girlfriend who goes around parading her private parts in magazines for all to see. it'd be really tacky and boring. confronted with one of those women, he'd probably still want you anyway.

 

no one on the face of this earth NATURALLY looks like the women in these magazines. think about it.....airbrushing and make up can turn the most ordinary person into a glamour, by reducing the size of their thighs, hiding blemishes on the skin, ridding them of cellulite, perfecting their teeth, eyes, hair, breasts etc. if you've ever seen a supermodel in the flesh or without make-up, you'd realise that in person, they are actually not that stunning. the right lighting, photographers, make-up artists and airbrusher's can work magic.

 

don't worry about why he has these magazines. most guy's aren't likely to say, "hey babe, i have a heap of porno's stashed away....just thought i'd let you know even though you probably don't want a thing to do with them". it's probably as important as a girl telling a guy that she's kept her year 8 cooking book.

 

porno's are not akin to cheating. they're just something that 9 out of 10 guys have hidden somewhere. after all, you wouldn't exactly want to leave those kinds of things lying around for all and sundry to stumble upon.

 

be a bit more gentle on yourself. your boyfriend has been with you for 4 years, and that is 4 years he's spent with you loving everything about you. porno mags do not indicate he wants something or someone else. he's only normal and guys like visual's more than chicks do...it is *nothing* personal.

 

good luck

[Lil' Jinx]

Hi Rebecca!

 

It sounds like you are beating yourself up over this. Stop comparing yourself to trampy pictures of cheap classless women. Any women could parade around wearing more hairspray than clothes,it's not a challenge.

 

Do yourself a favour and buy yourself a magazine of gorgeous hard bodied naked men. Show him a picture of the hottest guy with the biggest equipment and tell your beau that this picture excites you the most. Tell him that it is perfectly natural for you to enjoy fantasising about a penis twice his size and that this is what gets you off. In my experience this exercise works quite well. Men find it to be quite offensive...too bad for them! I guarantee he will not see how natural it is when the tables are turned.

 

Be kind to yourself, don't weigh your sexiness by his standard, weigh by your own. Buy yourself a vibrator, take care of your needs.

 

Good luck!

 

Hi, I guess I posted a message a day ago or so. I do agree with what I have read but I wanted to get your opinion on this too and anyone else who could offer advice. My boyfriend and I have been seeing eachother for awhile now. It will be 4 years soon. I love him to bits. We are both mature adults. What is bothering me right now is the fact that he has penthouse magazines in his house. He hides them in his drawers and all this time I had no idea. He showed them to me when I casually asked him if he has any porn mags at home. He said yes. He took one out to let me see. I of course was okay with it at first but after a while I started to feel weird. I don't mind him looking at beautiful woman but not in that way. I know I can't compete with the women in the mags but I fear that somehow I don't turn him on sexually or he needs to be completely fulfilled sexually by reading such trash. He is good to me although we do have our occasional arguments. I just wished he was more open with me about this earlier. This is normal right? I have nothing to worry about right? I mean those girls are just gorgeous and I don't want to ever control what my boyfriend looks at or does but I wish he never told me about it. Could someone please advise. Thanks, Rebecca