Candied-Heart Posted January 8, 2006 Share Posted January 8, 2006 The BF has started to say some very odd statements out of nowhere of recent. He came home ten minutes after me the other evening and asked if I'd been snooping, in an awfully fake attempted 'jestful' manner. I laughed, said no and asked if he had anything worth hiding. He said he'd know if I searched through his belongings informing me he'd set 'booby traps' to verify. I thought this quite strange a thing to do, or even admit to. And before you query, he was dead serious. Is this something to be concerned about. Not so much the actual setting of traps, but the thought process behind it? It made me wonder and over analyse a lot. And it brought me to this: 1. Would he really do such a thing as to set up 'traps' to see whether I snoop? Have any of you done so? Has it proved fruitful? 2. Does he really think I DO snoop? Or is this his own paranoia? Past history with GFs? 3. Is this kind of like the behaviour of projection? Ie- Being suspicious of me because he has something to keep hidden.. or because he is a [unfounded] snoop himself? I am aware that nobody here can answer these questions for him. These aren't questions I'd bother asking him anyhow. I am simply curious to get other people's opinions. Has anybody set up traps? How did it work out for you? FYI - This isn't an "OMG he might be cheating/hiding things" thread.. I don't suspect him of anything, he's a very loving, attentive and dear man, He's a little strange sometimes.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Candied-Heart Posted January 9, 2006 Author Share Posted January 9, 2006 Aw. What a lonely thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 did you snoop ?? if you did then maybe you crossed a trap.. If you didn't then he is just hitting you with baggage from a previous GF Tell him to grow up and stop Link to post Share on other sites
Giselle Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 I've never felt the need to set up "traps"...I have nothing to hide! Now I'm curious. How would you even do it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Candied-Heart Posted January 9, 2006 Author Share Posted January 9, 2006 No. I haven't snooped. Which is why it was intriguing to think ahout WHY he would set up traps. I always feel that snoops will just 'discover' things they may think to be a big problem and may be very innocent, yet are only causing that problem for themself and therefore anything they do find is almost invalid because of their dishonest actions. Re: How he would do it. I was thinking alng the lines of placing things very precisely around the house to see if it had been moved..? Hiding camera's? Who knows? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 Most likely most of it was just a threat.. But checking dates on files on the computer.. or he has a key logger installed.. We have used those at work on occasion to catch people downloading porn. He might also put things in certain exact spots.. ie:.. in the tight corner of a drawer. When I was going thru a divorce I used to use a carpet rake on the floor to detect footprints when I was at work Link to post Share on other sites
Nicholas Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 They're probably not real traps, they're more like hairs placed on things, that would be inconspicously askew if you were to rummage through it. There's one on our whiskey cabnet--it's a little piece of paper at the bottom of the door. Silly parents. It's clear that you inadvertantly set off one of these traps. I don't think it's a big deal though. I think if he had something to hide, he'd be worried, not accusatory. Link to post Share on other sites
BigJayTee Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 I've set up a hair that lined up exactly with a almost invisible mark in a drawer one time. Move anything at all in the drawer, and the hair would be out of place. I didn't have anything to hide, I just had read about that technique in a Tom Clancy book. Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted January 9, 2006 Share Posted January 9, 2006 Wow, I must say, thats a little odd for him to ask you that just out of the blue. This is just speculation, but I would say, either he has set "traps" because its possible he does have something to hide. Or, he is thinking about doing it, and just wanted to see your reaction. Or he told you that, thinking you might would be curious and actully start looking to see if he does have something to hide. Not sure why he would do that, and thats probably far fetched, but for him to say that out of the blue, theres probably some kind of reason behind it. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
AJS Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 I had a boyfriend once who did the same thing to me. He had an "early meeting" one morning after I had stayed the night. It was my 3rd time staying the night with him. When he got back, I was still sleeping and he woke me up and ask me if I had been through his things. I of course got very offended and ask him why he would ask me that. He said he already knew the answer because he had set up "booby traps" to see if I had. He then told me I was the only woman he had ever dated that didn't dig through his stuff. I was shocked! Of course he had a whole new level of trust for me, but I felt like it was very strange of him to do this in the first place. In the end, he turned out to be hooked on coke AND a cheater so maybe, just maybe if I had snooped I would have found these things out a lot faster. It would have saved me months of heartache. Just thought I would let you know you aren't the only one. Does your BF go by the name Steve? Might be the same guy! Link to post Share on other sites
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