I Think Our Post Relationship Friendship is Cooked.

[MsJayne]

If she still had any feelings for you she would have made spending time with you one of her priorities. If you're on the autism spectrum you may have difficulty with people saying one thing and doing another, or appearing to be untruthful about something, (?), hence her behaviour puzzles you.  You might feel like the two of you were carved in stone, but something made her feelings change. In your situation I'd let it go and move on, there's plenty more feet in the sea. 

[Acacia98]

13 hours ago, WonderKid said:

You are right. I just figured that out so late. The moment she offered i should've checked it right there but didn't. Between us, usually I'm the one that set and keep the boundaries. But this is very foreign territory for me. I never done any of this with an ex before. But I also wasn't in love with them like that.

Definitely a lesson learned. 

Aah...

Not to worry. You've learned from the experience.

[WonderKid]

10 hours ago, MsJayne said:

If she still had any feelings for you she would have made spending time with you one of her priorities. If you're on the autism spectrum you may have difficulty with people saying one thing and doing another, or appearing to be untruthful about something, (?), hence her behaviour puzzles you.  You might feel like the two of you were carved in stone, but something made her feelings change. In your situation I'd let it go and move on, there's plenty more feet in the sea. 

I know it's more feet out there. That's what I've been doing. It's just that I wish she kept it 100 with me. And yeah I'm the type to where if I'm telling you I'm gonna do something I'm gonna do it. But if not I'm definitely gonna communicate along the way. She still hasn't talked to me but atp I already made my mind up. Idc how well we are healed and connection we have I am not doing any more sexual things with her. It's just too awkward atp. And if she really wanted to, this wouldn't be so difficult. So now that I'll eliminate that ever being a possibility, we can be the friends we were before this happened. Which was fine and healthy for thr most part.

[IrinaM]

She does adult work. That's how you two met. She is a "foot model" and you have a "foot fetish." Realistically, you were her client or a prospective client. I know you might believe you were her friend or boyfriend, but lots of men who frequent adult entertainers feel the same way. That doesn't make it true.

Maybe visit a therapist and focus of leaving this "fetish" behind you. It's not healthy, and it's controlling you. You're trying to turn your fetish crush into a whole relationship.

I'm not going to say she's using you or anything like that, because that's probably not the truth. But I doubt she thinks of your relationship in the same terms as you do. Most adult entertainers I have known are desperate to get out of that work. Pseudo-mini-friendships to pacify higher-paying clientele are common, as earnings in this line of work tend to drop sharply after the first six months or so. In short, frequenting websites that cater to your fetish is not a way to make friends.