Anything wrong with traditional relationship

[Flexible]

I have been dating after my marriage ended over a year and a half ago. I have utilized dating sites and dating clubs and have indeed met very attractive women including my last girlfriend. I believe that part of the reason that the relationship ended was that I felt she did not keep up to her part of the bargain as described below.

 

In the stage of a relationship where each person tells about what their expectations are in terms of the responsibilities for housework, job, paying bills etc, I believe I have been very flexible. I am fortunate enough to be able to afford paying for two people including all bills, spending money etc. and would not need a second income. On the other hand, I actually believe that it is healthy, good, and better if both people in a relationship work. If a woman CHOOSES not to work however, and I pay for all her bills, including clothes, gifts for her relatives, car payments, insurance, spending money, etc., then I believe it is fair and reasonable that she should spend an equal amount of time doing household chores, that I do earning an income to support her. Just as I believe a woman might be upset if I come home and tell her that I can't pay her car bill because I chose not to go to work that week, I feel it is not unreasonable that I am upset if I come home from work to find a messy house because she chose to stay home and not do it. Once again, I PREFER that a woman work and earn her own income. In such an arrangement, I am happy to split household chores, or have the option of paying out of my income to have someone do it, and the same option would apply to the woman.

 

What has happened in the past, is that the woman acknowledges that if I work and pay all her bills etc., that she should be responsible for the large portion of household chores. In practice however, the house becomes seriously MORE messy with her present than prior to the relationship.

 

It appears when I have given the choice to a woman to work or not work, they always choose not to work. Perhaps I should simply not begin a relationship with any woman who does not have an established career. What bothers me is not that a woman does not work, but that she has not lived up to the pre-agreed arrangement.

[whichwayisup]

It appears when I have given the choice to a woman to work or not work, they always choose not to work. Perhaps I should simply not begin a relationship with any woman who does not have an established career. What bothers me is not that a woman does not work, but that she has not lived up to the pre-agreed arrangement.

 

There's your mistake. Don't give the woman you're dating or serious with a choice. Ofcourse some may automatically choose NOT to work. Hey, you pay all the bills, fork out the money and they have free rein. (Not saying ALL women would do that, but still...)

 

It's better when both work, unless there are kids involved then one parent should stay home, I am a strong believer that kids need that stability. But until that time comes, she should be working! It's depressing just being stuck at home, doing housework, cleaning and not out working in the real world, talking to people, fullfilling needs and having daily interaction with people.

 

I think you need to stick to being with someone who wants to work, pull their weight, not someone you feel the need to look after.

 

Good luck and I hope you find someone who makes you happy.

[Brittanyjean06]

What I don't understand is, why are you guys giving eachother ultimadems right when you meet?( if thats what your doing).........?

 

 

I do believe in your theory of equal partnership- and I myself would want to make my own income- if it is not enough to pay the bills, it will defiently go to something good-

 

I think its the woman you are dating who have not much priorites for themselves- i don't think i could bare knowing I had someone paying for my every needs. That just woulden't feel right at all-

 

maybe the next girl you happen to get involved with- dont let them know the hole scoop on what you want in a relationship- start it slow......and don't let the girl use all of your money- you will want someone who is equal- even if they do not make as much money as you:)

[loony]

If a woman CHOOSES not to work however, and I pay for all her bills, including clothes, gifts for her relatives, car payments, insurance, spending money, etc.,

I didn't know that anybody except for mommy and daddy would ever be so crazy to pay for everything.

 

Listen, you should never ever ask a woman if she wants to work or not, especially if you're not even married and have children with her. You are just dating. Offering her this choice and paying everything for her is just plain wrong. All you do is attracting gold diggers. No good woman worth having a relationship with would ever agree to this kind of arrangement.