I told this guy I wanted to be friends with him and have sex. and he reacted to the message with a heart

[Melissa_G]

What does this mean?

[ExpatInItaly]

It means he is flattered but not interested 

[Melissa_G]

6 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

It means he is flattered but not interested 

I don't think it means he's not interested.

[ExpatInItaly]

2 minutes ago, Melissa_G said:

I don't think it means he's not interested.

Then why did you bother asking what we think it means? 

 

[Melissa_G]

1 minute ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Then why did you bother asking what we think it means? 

 

I'm saying this because we've already had sex before. How does the heart emoji indicate he's not interested?

Edited December 13, 2024 by Melissa_G

[basil67]

So what do you think it means?   Short of having an actual conversation with him, it's really only guess work

[ExpatInItaly]

7 minutes ago, Melissa_G said:

How does the heart emoji indicate he's not interested?

It's his lack of any meaningful reply that signals low interest. 

It's about as low-effort as you can get, short of not replying at all. 

[Melissa_G]

Just now, ExpatInItaly said:

It's his lack of any meaningful reply that signals low interest. 

It's about as low-effort as you can get, short of not replying at all. 

My friends do this as well. 

[ExpatInItaly]

Just now, Melissa_G said:

My friends do this as well. 

Are you also telling your friends you want to have sex with them?

Doubt it. This guy isn't as into it as you hoped 

[basil67]

2 minutes ago, Melissa_G said:

My friends do this as well. 

My daughter is Gen Z and says that friends replying with just an emoji is as lazy as it gets

Edited December 13, 2024 by basil67

[Melissa_G]

2 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Are you also telling your friends you want to have sex with them?

Doubt it. This guy isn't as into it as you hoped 

Is this why we've had sex before?

[stillafool]

2 minutes ago, Melissa_G said:

Is this why we've had sex before?

Since you have already had sex the heart means he's flattered that you liked it enough to ask him for more but he's in no hurry to do it again.  He knows that you're sprung and he doesn't want to lead you on further by havin sex with you again any time soon.  He's probably seeing and having sex with other girls too.  Men who want you would jump to have sex with you again, especially since you're the one who's asking.

[Melissa_G]

4 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Since you have already had sex the heart means he's flattered that you liked it enough to ask him for more but he's in no hurry to do it again.  He knows that you're sprung and he doesn't want to lead you on further by havin sex with you again any time soon.  He's probably seeing and having sex with other girls too.  Men who want you would jump to have sex with you again, especially since you're the one who's asking.

I'm not sure how you got that he's having sex with other women from my post. That's not what I was asking thanks though. I mean we've had sex several times already. 

Edited December 13, 2024 by Melissa_G

[basil67]

@Melissa_G we can only guess, particularly as you've supplied no history or context.  But you know him and have a much better chance at figuring this out than we do.

Edited December 13, 2024 by basil67

[ShyViolet]

21 minutes ago, Melissa_G said:

I'm not sure how you got that he's having sex with other women from my post. That's not what I was asking thanks though. I mean we've had sex several times already. 

Ok well it sounds like you already have your mind made up about your situation so I'm not sure what the point was of your post.  We are not mind readers, we can only assume what his intentions are.  If you want to know what he wants why don't you talk to him.

[stillafool]

47 minutes ago, Melissa_G said:

I'm not sure how you got that he's having sex with other women from my post. That's not what I was asking thanks though. I mean we've had sex several times already. 

Why don't you provide all of the information about your involvement with this man and then we'll give you, our opinion.  We can only guess based on the little info you provided. There are no mind readers on this site.

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, Melissa_G said:

Is this why we've had sex before?

Just because a guy has sex with you doesn't mean he's into you.   It can just mean he's just into having sex.

[basil67]

15 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Just because a guy has sex with you doesn't mean he's into you.   It can just mean he's just into having sex.

As a young woman, it took me far too long to realise this

[introverted1]

It means he knows he can contact you for sex whenever he wants and he also knows he doesn't have to make any effort to do so.

 

 

[FredEire]

From another angle, maybe he was really into you, was hoping that sex would lead to more and he feels like you've pied him off with this reaction, thinking that you're just saying it to have the freedom to sleep around with other guys at the same time.

Only thing I'm sure about is he's somewhat annoyed by your suggestion, for whatever reason. Given your history, that would be my guess.

[Gebidozo]

I would consider a lone heart emoji a rather rude response to a woman offering to have sex with me.

If I were interested, I’d reply with a clear acceptance and an offer to meet.

If I weren’t interested, I’d text something along the lines of “I’m super flattered because you’re great, but…” 

A single heart emoji is basically a “Bam, wham, thank you Ma’am” attitude to what happened.

 

 

[Lotsgoingon]

It means he does NOT want to formalize or commit to any sexual arrangement with you.

You guys have already had sex, and maybe you'll have sex again. But he doesn't want to talk about it or plan it. If a guy really wanted to have sex with you, he would have texted you right back and said, "how about tonight?"

He's not interested. Doesn't mean he won't twice a year have sex with you. But he wants no commitment, not even a fwb "commitment."

Now beyond this, might mean he has another partner or he wants to date (doesn't want to date you). Could be a thousand things going on in his life. But if you and this guy have ALREADY had sex, he does NOT need to be texted and told of your interest. 

 

Edited December 14, 2024 by Lotsgoingon

[NuevoYorko]

I'm wondering why you're not asking HIM this question.   My best guess is that he means "aw, thanks."   

[BaileyB]

4 hours ago, introverted1 said:

It means he knows he can contact you for sex whenever he wants and he also knows he doesn't have to make any effort to do so.

I agree with this. The may just mean that he really likes the sex. I wouldn’t read more into it.

If you had texted to say - “I adore you and I want to be in a relationship with you…” and he replied with a , then I would maybe say that it was more than sex.

But, when you text and say, “I like being your friend and I want to have sex with you again…” (ie. I have no expectations and no strings attached)… his reply with a likely means - “awesome, I’m down with that.”
 

Edited December 14, 2024 by BaileyB

[MsJayne]

I'm a bit confused about why you're telling him you want to be friends. If you're not actual friends at this point, why is it that you've had sex several times with him? How did you meet, what's the context of your interactions with him? The way you've painted this sounds like he shows up occasionally when he feels like sex but outside of that you have no contact. If that's what's going on you're being used, and someone who exploits vulnerability or gullibility is never a 'friend'.