16 years of marriage, how to start dating again?

[jbcok]

So, here's what I've got. I was never great at dating, mostly met girls online from 16-20. Met my wife when I was 21 and we were together 16 years. We're divorcing now and she's always been outgoing and bubbly and she's already had 3 guys at least express sexual interest in her possibly sex. Its been 2 months since we started the divorce. I need advice on where to meet girls, I'm outside Tulsa, ok. I'm decent handsome but feeling pretty awkward. Blue collar construction worker. Only thing around really is casinos but the girls in there are like 70 haha. I stopped drinking so wtf should I do?

[Gaeta]

About you actually get out of this marriage, settle down, give yourself time to mourn the end of this marriage and reconnect with yourself before taking on your next journey?

This is not a race, it's more like  marathon. Stop observing what your ex does, sure she eats men like candy and in 5 years she will wonder why she's still single after dating so many men.

Concentrate on your personal goals, your health, your family, go on a couple trips. 

Dating reality is: not many woman will date a man *almost* out of a marriage. 

[Els]

You "started" the divorce 2 months ago but have you actually finished the divorce?

[smackie9]

It's not a race or a competition. Give yourself a moment to settle into single life...have poker nights with your buddies, try a new activity like horse back riding, hiking, fishing, line dancing etc. Ease into it. Having an active lifestyle will look attractive to women. But for now, you are not put together....give it some time.

[jbcok]

Well she's dead. We were trying to with things out. There was a car wreck last Friday. Funeral tomorrow.

[Gaeta]

13 hours ago, jbcok said:

Well she's dead. We were trying to with things out. There was a car wreck last Friday. Funeral tomorrow.

Your ex-wife died??

Do you have children together?

I am so sorry to hear that. My deepest sympathy! 

[jbcok]

Yes she still wasn't my ex though. We have a boy and girl twin 3.5 years old. f*** things were going good. She told me that I gave her butterflies again. She would always get them when we talked until a couple years ago. f*** everything was turning around.

Edited December 27, 2024 by jbcok

[Beautifully Complicated]

Sorry for your loss. 

[Ami1uwant]

On 12/27/2024 at 4:35 PM, jbcok said:

Yes she still wasn't my ex though. We have a boy and girl twin 3.5 years old. f*** things were going good. She told me that I gave her butterflies again. She would always get them when we talked until a couple years ago. f*** everything was turning around.

Sthst you said was really cold.

 

Even if you were going thru divorce this is a big loss for you and your kids.

 

Give this happening, it’s too soon to start dating.

 

When you are ready…if you have young kids you can use them to try and meet other single parents like through going to playgrounds, play dates, through school stuff.

 

as a single parent it’s going to be hard to do.  Some who are single/ no kids don’t want to inherit kids thru marriage. If you meet someone around your age who has kids, if theirs are 10+ yrs older than your kids they might not want to extended their parenting years