ShadowShore Posted December 18, 2024 Share Posted December 18, 2024 I am 28, she’s 27. Thing is she was my first with everything ever. I never had a GF before her and she was not only drop dead 10/10 gorgeous, but I really connected with her. In fact, I knew her for 12 years and I asked her out, she said yes. I lost my virginity to her and she was extremely disappointed. She said she thought I’d have more experience than that. Problem is I genuinely loved her, everything about her. She said she couldn’t handle someone who just began everything and I haven’t heard from her since. It’s been 3 months now and I’m blocked from everything except Snapchat. I’m not gonna reach out to her because I don’t want to be blocked on Snapchat too, just need help coping. I’m never gonna find someone like this again. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 18, 2024 Share Posted December 18, 2024 58 minutes ago, ShadowShore said: Thing is she was my first with everything ever. Then you can't possibly say she was the best ever, since you have nothing to compare her to. That's not a shot at you, but a reminder that your lack of experience prior to this is skewing your view today. 1 hour ago, ShadowShore said: I’m never gonna find someone like this again. And this is your fear speaking. You have no idea what else is out there for you, but you have over-idealized this specific woman. She is human, and like anyone else, isn't perfect. She obviously wasn't the right one for you. 1 hour ago, ShadowShore said: I’m blocked from everything except Snapchat. Is there a particular reason she has blocked you almost everywhere? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShadowShore Posted December 18, 2024 Author Share Posted December 18, 2024 Isn’t it normal for people to want nothing to do with their exes? Plus, I really cared about her and I did for 12 years. Thats why she’s so unique. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 18, 2024 Share Posted December 18, 2024 2 hours ago, ShadowShore said: I lost my virginity to her and she was extremely disappointed. She said she thought I’d have more experience than that. And here's hoping you don't find someone like her again. This kind of behaviour is cruel and hurtful Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShadowShore Posted December 18, 2024 Author Share Posted December 18, 2024 38 minutes ago, basil67 said: And here's hoping you don't find someone like her again. This kind of behaviour is cruel and hurtful Am I just too late in the game to start? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 18, 2024 Share Posted December 18, 2024 51 minutes ago, ShadowShore said: Am I just too late in the game to start? No, it's not too late. But you might want to spend some time figuring out why you've never had a girlfriend before this and make changes for the future Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShadowShore Posted December 18, 2024 Author Share Posted December 18, 2024 1 minute ago, basil67 said: No, it's not too late. But you might want to spend some time figuring out why you've never had a girlfriend before this and make changes for the future No girlfriend because I was bullied HORRIBLY in high school. Like almost murdered, “bullies went to adult prison for a long time” level bad. It was traumatizing. Spent years in therapy. Then I got out at 25 and went back to college. I graduated at 28 (age I am now), got a high paying job, and began dating for the first time. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted December 19, 2024 Share Posted December 19, 2024 OP, I think you should find a good therapist. Your expectations from a romantic partner are catastrophically low if you are calling a person who dumped you for being a virgin “the best woman I could ever have”. A person who treats you with such coldness and disdain shouldn’t even register on your love radar. Thinking that you’ll never connect with anyone better is delusion probably stemming from serious confidence issues. Please, discuss this with a good therapist, you aren’t seeing things clearly at this point. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShadowShore Posted December 19, 2024 Author Share Posted December 19, 2024 21 minutes ago, Gebidozo said: OP, I think you should find a good therapist. Your expectations from a romantic partner are catastrophically low if you are calling a person who dumped you for being a virgin “the best woman I could ever have”. A person who treats you with such coldness and disdain shouldn’t even register on your love radar. Thinking that you’ll never connect with anyone better is delusion probably stemming from serious confidence issues. Please, discuss this with a good therapist, you aren’t seeing things clearly at this point. Her logic kind of made sense. She didn’t want to be training wheels and said most first relationships fail horribly Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted December 19, 2024 Share Posted December 19, 2024 55 minutes ago, ShadowShore said: Her logic kind of made sense. She didn’t want to be training wheels and said most first relationships fail horribly The logic of cannibals also makes sense. They didn’t want to waste high-protein nutrition and said the person was to be killed anyway. The logic of those tribes that kill off parents once they are too old also makes sense. They didn’t want to feed someone who couldn’t work. They said most old people die in pain. People have always been using logic to defend and justify their unsavory actions I hope you understand that logic and ethics are two very different things. Just because something makes sense doesn’t mean it’s good. Logic and love are two very different things as well. That woman didn’t love you at all and treated you badly. The very first thing you should do is get rid of the false idea that she was the best and that you won’t find anyone better. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted December 19, 2024 Share Posted December 19, 2024 9 hours ago, ShadowShore said: I’m never gonna find someone like this again. There's over 8 billion people in the world, and a good percentage of them are heterosexual women, so your chances of finding your person are pretty high if you're a decent guy. She can't be friends with you any more because having a friend who's lovesick for you is just all too awkward. You cope by acknowledging that she's not Aphrodite, and no matter how 10/10 she is, there's always someone who will outshine her. Unless she was secretly in love with you after twelve years of friendship it was stupid of her to get romantically involved, it's not like she didn't already know your weaknesses and flaws. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 19, 2024 Share Posted December 19, 2024 11 hours ago, ShadowShore said: Isn’t it normal for people to want nothing to do with their exes? Not necessarily. Some will go the route of blocking any previous romantic interests, but I wouldn't say it's the norm. Did she say anything to you before she blocked you? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 19, 2024 Share Posted December 19, 2024 How is it that you knew each other for 12 years, but she was unaware you had no experience with women? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted December 20, 2024 Share Posted December 20, 2024 Yes, the big question!!!!! 1 hour ago, basil67 said: How is it that you knew each other for 12 years, but she was unaware you had no experience with women? I don't think you knew each other all that well. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Georgia46 Posted December 23, 2024 Share Posted December 23, 2024 I hope you don’t find someone like that again because she sounds like a horrible woman. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 Your better starting out with a less glamorous girl until you gain more experience. these model types will be straight talking and direct Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted January 3 Share Posted January 3 2 hours ago, Foxhall said: Your better starting out with a less glamorous girl until you gain more experience. these model types will be straight talking and direct Hopefully, when the OP gains more experience, he’ll become wise enough to understand that he should not ever date such girls. Why are you calling her “direct”, when much more precise adjectives would be “nasty” and “unkind”? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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