Why would my ex follow me into the supermarket? or did she?

[Maldives]

There's always something interesting happening in my world LOL. 

So last night I was finishing up with some friends at the local shopping centre and normally I don't walk out with them to their car. But tonight I decided to walk to their car with them before going back in and I spotted my ex's car. 

Anyway, I went back in to go to the supermarket and saw my ex in the distance coming out of one of the supermarkets there. But there's also another big supermarket across the food court from the one she was coming out from. So when I saw her I darted right to avoid crossing paths. We've been split about 8 years and it was her that left back then anyway for some context.

As I reached the Opposite supermarket to where my ex came out from across the food court,  I was just staring at some fruit trying to compose myself from almost crossing paths  and texting my mates that I seen my ex LOL And then a few minutes passed and I see her walk in to this supermarket. The reason I bring this up is because the supermarket that I went into she doesn't like this particular supermarket because her ex-partner was a manager there and she despised her ex really badly so she refused to shop in this particular supermarket because of the association with him.  My mind started wondering what she was doing in there and whether she was following me or trying to suss me out. I didn't bump into her in there because I stayed still in the fruit section actually just staring at these bananas for a while trying to make sense of it. Then I continued on but she must of just gone in and out real quick because it was only a few minutes and there were people at the checkouts. What are your thoughts? I've been trying to just let this go but I can't lol.  

Was she just sussing me out to see if I was with anyone? She did see me a few mths ago with that Korean girl I was briefly dating but she was also with someone at the time. 

Me and this ex seem to have some strange intertwined lives lol. For many yrs after we split we still worked together and she use to rub it in a bit talking to the guys in the office in front of me . I also did try once years ago to talk to her when I bumped into her on the street but she made it pretty clear she didn't wanna talk lol. So I just left it at that and never tried again. When I do see her I always try and not cross paths that sort of thing or she normally does the same. 

A few years ago I did write a heartfelt letter to her listing my regrets mainly for me to let go which it did help as I felt I'd been keeping things in for many years and nothing seemed to be helping processing the break up. 

We dated for 6 years btw but split many moons ago 8 yrs ago.

I'm just curious what you all think 🤔?

 

Edited December 20, 2024 by Goodguy05

[basil67]

Logic tells me that her regular supermarket didn't have that essential ingredient, so she went to the other supermarket

[Maldives]

11 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Logic tells me that her regular supermarket didn't have that essential ingredient, so she went to the other supermarket

I did think that but from where she was to where this supermarket is, if that was the case she should have been straight in after me but came in a few minutes later almost like she was thinking about it before coming in. Also the other shops were closed accept for a fruit shop but she didn't come to the fruit section at all lol. Maybe you're right but if you knew her like I did she absolutely would not shop there because she hated her ex that badly. He won custody of her kids and took a lot of things away from her that were really important to her like her kids. 

I should add I'm not exactly sure if she had been at the other supermarket. I didn't see her exit from there I just saw she was walking straight and behind her and to the left are other retail outlets and that supermarket. 

 

Edited December 20, 2024 by Goodguy05

[Sony12]

She likely was just there to do some shopping of her own. It's been a long time since you two split so I highly doubt she would start stalking you at this point.

If her sudden appearances continue or you find her around your home and she has no reason to be there then you might begin thinking something is going on. But just a single incident in a shopping area she goes to normally shouldn't be sign for concern. 

If she was there to check up on you or to interact with you she likely would have stuck around for a little while. Not quickly go in and out which is normal shopping behavior.

[smackie9]

All in your head bro. People come out to shop this time of year where they wouldn't normally go. My guess is you may run into her again well because it is the season for shopping.

[ExpatInItaly]

You are reading way too much into a random coincidence. 

There are plenty of perfectly valid reasons for her to have gone there, which have nothing to do with you. And this? 

6 hours ago, Goodguy05 said:

Maybe you're right but if you knew her like I did she absolutely would not shop there because she hated her ex that badly.

That's the point -  you don't know her anymore. There is every chance she's long moved past her animosity and is fine shopping there now. You are making the mistake of thinking that what was true several years ago is still true now. 

7 hours ago, Goodguy05 said:

I'm just curious what you all think 🤔?

That you are really hoping this random event was about you, but I don't see any indication that it was. 

[Sony12]

Women in general often don't stalk men. Of course there are some exceptions but stalking is much more of a 'male' behavior.

Sometimes women try to hang on to something longer than they should but in most cases when they finally admit it is over then it is indeed over for them.

Men are much more prone to obsess over a past crush/love. While women will be prone to look for someone new who either reminds them of that past crush or doesn't remind them of that crush.

Edited December 20, 2024 by Sony12

[flitzanu]

8 hours ago, Goodguy05 said:

 

We dated for 6 years btw but split many moons ago 8 yrs ago.

I'm just curious what you all think 🤔?

 

the clear logical answer of what we think is that you clearly aren't over this girl or have some unresolved issues if you have such turmoil over randomly running into her in public.  i'd agree with the others that this had zero to do with you and she probably didn't even notice you

[lemonicetea]

I’m just going to say it was a coincidence. You broke up eight years ago. If she was going to stalk you, she would have done it before now. 

[Maldives]

2 hours ago, lemonicetea said:

I’m just going to say it was a coincidence. You broke up eight years ago. If she was going to stalk you, she would have done it before now. 

About a year or so ago me and friend were in the casino having a drink at a bar and she walked in with what I guess was her date. There were heaps of seats available to sit at and she sat over the other side initially and then my friend says hey man your ex is walking over towards us and proceeds to sit right in front opposite of me and my friend for the next half hour or so. She could have sat anywhere else as there plenty of vacant seats but she chose to sit right opposite in front of us. My friend was really uncomfortable and wanted to move but I insisted to stay because I suspected I knew what she was trying to do sitting in front of us. Just to give you some perspective of her behaviour.. My friend thought the same thing that she purposely sat in front of us for whatever reason. 

Edited December 20, 2024 by Goodguy05

[Maldives]

3 hours ago, flitzanu said:

the clear logical answer of what we think is that you clearly aren't over this girl or have some unresolved issues if you have such turmoil over randomly running into her in public.  i'd agree with the others that this had zero to do with you and she probably didn't even notice you

I don't sit here with hurt feelings to that extent but she remains in memory. We continued to work together for many years after the break up so it was a bit of a process healing and moving on and yes there's probably still some unresolved issues in my head. 

No she saw me I was in her line of sight would be hard not to. 

Edited December 20, 2024 by Goodguy05

[basil67]

27 minutes ago, Goodguy05 said:

About a year or so ago me and friend were in the casino having a drink at a bar and she walked in with what I guess was her date. There were heaps of seats available to sit at and she sat over the other side initially and then my friend says hey man your ex is walking over towards us and proceeds to sit right in front opposite of me and my friend for the next half hour or so. She could have sat anywhere else as there plenty of vacant seats but she chose to sit right opposite in front of us. My friend was really uncomfortable and wanted to move but I insisted to stay because I suspected I knew what she was trying to do sitting in front of us. Just to give you some perspective of her behaviour.. My friend thought the same thing that she purposely sat in front of us for whatever reason. 

This speaks to your weird behaviour as much as hers.   Why didn't you take the power and say Hi when you saw her sitting near you?   It's actually more awkward to pretend to ignore someone than it is to greet them

Edited December 20, 2024 by basil67

[Maldives]

3 hours ago, basil67 said:

This speaks to your weird behaviour as much as hers.   Why didn't you take the power and say Hi when you saw her sitting near you?   It's actually more awkward to pretend to ignore someone than it is to greet them

No not weird but to answer your question I wrote it in my post but you must overlooked it so here it is again I tried once to speak with her and she made it pretty clear she didn't wanna talk so no I wouldn't approach her and what was I doing that was weird exactly? Apart from sitting there with a friend she walked in after into the bar..I  do appreciate people's advice on here but some times it's just an attack at someone. Like you here calling me weird not a very nice thing to say. 

Edited December 21, 2024 by Goodguy05

[basil67]

21 minutes ago, Goodguy05 said:

No not weird but to answer your question I wrote it in my post but you must overlooked it so here it is again I tried once to speak with her and she made it pretty clear she didn't wanna talk so no I wouldn't approach her and what was I doing that was weird exactly? Apart from sitting there with a friend she walked in after into the bar..I  do appreciate people's advice on here but some times it's just an attack at someone. Like you here calling me weird not a very nice thing to say. 

To be clear, I didn't call you weird.  I called your behaviour weird.   

If someone you know sits near you then you greet them.  If they get upset over being greeted when they chose to sit near you, then that's on them.  

Edited December 21, 2024 by basil67

[Maldives]

11 minutes ago, basil67 said:

To be clear, I didn't call you weird.  I called your behaviour weird.   

If someone you know sits near you then you greet them.  If they get upset over being greeted when they chose to sit near you, then that's on them.  

She was on a date it looked like someone she was getting to know and it's also awkward. It's ok I flagged your post wth admin it was rude 👍. 

[Sony12]

11 minutes ago, Goodguy05 said:

She was on a date it looked like someone she was getting to know and it's also awkward. It's ok I flagged your post wth admin it was rude 👍. 

Your behavior sounds very highschoolish. Even during the casino situation you two had still been broken up for a long time by that point (six or seven years). There is a good chance she was sitting by you because she wasn't trying to be rude. What is she supposed to do. Go out of her way to avoid a guy she dated years earlier? In her mind you very well were the rude one by not saying anything. 

We don't know her so we can't speak to her maturity level. But you aren't sounding very mature in your own right.

[MsJayne]

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I'm 99% sure she was just doing her shopping while you were pretending to be engrossed in the bananas  . 

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, Goodguy05 said:

It's ok I flagged your post wth admin it was rude 👍. 

It wasn't rude. 

It was spot-on, actually.  Anyway, I still don't think her supermarket visit had anything to do with you at all. You are connecting dots that aren't there.