Is it okay to feel jealous?

[nothingsfeelinggreat]

I'm 17 and I'm very fortunate, I have a loving family and 2 friends who I've known since we were 5, who I feel like we'd do anything for each other. This all started when one of my two closest friends literally became a professional gamer (stay with me i'm not joking this is important) and has been traveling the world and winning thousands at only 17. Of course I'm all support, I watch every single one of his matches and even hosted a watch party when he participated in this games "world tournament". I couldn't be happier for the guy. During this time, I started catching feelings for this girl I sat next to in my marketing class. I could listen to that girl talk for hours and we barely got anything done in that class because we were just talking to each other, she never failed to make me smile man. I tried twice at asking when she was free to try and hang out and even ask her to my school's homecoming but both times I got shut down because of "Family Plans". She's involved in a lot at school and I don't doubt she's actually busy but there's the voice telling me that she's just saying anything to get out of hanging out with me. And then my other friend suddenly gets a girlfriend in a matter of weeks. And that just hurt, I've known this girl and obviously I know my friend and they both were people who had always said they don't want relationships until college, and duh feelings change but I just can't help but feel jealous because everyone else's lives around me seem to be going great when I quite literally have nothing going for me. It's now winter break, my gamer friend is out of town with his family and my other friend is spending most of his time with his girlfriend. I've never been in a real relationship and in the back of my head that's all I really want, someone to convey the love I know I have for people. It's been days and I haven't hung out with anyone and all I can think about is this pretty ass girl who I won't even have any classes with next semester. Please I just need someone to tell me if I'm overexaggerating or not, I feel so helpless and if I am please be upfront with me because life seems to be kicking my ass right now.

[SurfCity]

It's normal to feel like that when you're friends are successful...it's natural to want to keep up and not get left behind. Make a plan or set a schedule for your goals and stick to it. When you start accomplishing what you want for yourself in your life you won't feel jealous when your friends accomplish their goals. 

As far as the girl you like, did you ask her to Homecoming or not? If you did and she said no, then you just have to accept it and move on. If you didn't ask her to Homecoming, you should just straight out ask her to go with you to junior prom/winter formal or whichever dance is left this school year. Don't ask when she's free or what her schedule is or if she wants to hang out, just ask her to be your date to junior prom. Or you could ask her to study together at your house or the school library to build up to asking her to prom. You don't need to be in the same class to study together. If she says yes, then you should try to make it a semi-regular thing where you two study together and then do something fun like get pizza or ice cream after either one of you has a big test or a presentation. If she says yes to studying together and getting pizza etc, ask her to junior prom.  If she says no to studying together, then don't ask her to prom. Good luck.

[nothingsfeelinggreat]

On 12/24/2024 at 9:39 PM, SurfCity said:

It's normal to feel like that when you're friends are successful...it's natural to want to keep up and not get left behind. Make a plan or set a schedule for your goals and stick to it. When you start accomplishing what you want for yourself in your life you won't feel jealous when your friends accomplish their goals. 

As far as the girl you like, did you ask her to Homecoming or not? If you did and she said no, then you just have to accept it and move on. If you didn't ask her to Homecoming, you should just straight out ask her to go with you to junior prom/winter formal or whichever dance is left this school year. Don't ask when she's free or what her schedule is or if she wants to hang out, just ask her to be your date to junior prom. Or you could ask her to study together at your house or the school library to build up to asking her to prom. You don't need to be in the same class to study together. If she says yes, then you should try to make it a semi-regular thing where you two study together and then do something fun like get pizza or ice cream after either one of you has a big test or a presentation. If she says yes to studying together and getting pizza etc, ask her to junior prom.  If she says no to studying together, then don't ask her to prom. Good luck.

Thank you for the response, I really just needed someone to tell me I wasn't being a POS for thinking that way. I tried asking the girl out twice, one time was about 2 weeks before the homecoming and he had been in that class sitting next to each other for about a month and a half so I asked her if she wanted to go get something for dinner, I would drive her and pay and all of that jazz and she originally said yes, but then around 20 minutes later texted me that she checked with her mom and turned out she had family plans, I called it a loss and went to Homecoming with some friends. The second time I wanted to see if she wanted to go see a high school show that some of our mutual friends were in, one of her close friends would be there as her boyfriend was the lead in that school's show, I just started off asking if she was free that night but this time she just immediately said she had family plans. Again I called it a loss and moved on. Now I won't have a class with her next semester and I still really like her and I feel like such a loser since I literally CANNOT get this girl out of my head. But now I just have to count my losses and hope I meet someone in college next year.

[SurfCity]

2 hours ago, nothingsfeelinggreat said:

But now I just have to count my losses and hope I meet someone in college next year.

I agree that that's the right plan. 

College is a whole new world, you have so much to look forward to including new romantic interests.