Need some help

[lulu]

My husband refuses to help around the house. We both do

 

the same job, we work for the same company. When we come

 

home it is my job to take care of the kids,cook and clean

 

His excuse is that I made him this way.He prefers to

 

watch t.v. and drink beer. When I ask him to do something

 

he says either I won't let him do anything or to stop asking

 

because I am making him look bad in front of the kids.

 

I have tried everything what else can I do

[Tony T]

Go on strike. Tell him that until he agrees to help you at home, you are going straight from work to friends homes. Let him know you have simply had it with the inequity in your relationship. Let him know that you work just the same as him and you expect equity and fairness in the relationship.

 

If he retaliates, just hire someone to meet your children at home after work and do what you do. Pay him or her.

 

If he is overly tired or fatigued, send him to a physician for a full physical and see what may be causing his tiredness.

 

There is simply no excuse for the bum not contributing his fair share to the marriage.

[sparkle]

I agree with Tony. Stop doing anything around the house.

 

There are some other things you can do though that may help out.

 

Ask him one thing at at a time. Don't become frustrated and start telling him to clean the kitchen, the house, vacuum, and do the laundry. Cook dinner one evening, but tell him to clear the table and do the dishes. Just ask him politely, don't nag. Get up from the table and go watch TV or something. Don't wait around for him to do it. Same thing goes for other chores.

 

And when you ask him to do something and he does it, don't complain that he did it wrong, or he's not doing it the way you want him to. Just let him do it, and hopefully he'll get it done, regardless of how well of a job it is. Practice makes perfect.

 

You do NOT have to do everything around the house. Next time he asks you where his clean underwear or socks or undershirt is, say something like, "I don't know...did you do the laundry?"

 

Using a maid service is a good idea. But if you can't afford it, find out how much it costs for a maid to come, and get a written estimate or price list. Tell your husband that you can't do all the chores and give him the price for the service.

 

Maybe you can bargain with him. If he asks you to do something, ask him to do something in return.

 

You could write out a weekly list of things that need to be done, and then split up the chores with him. If he refuses, leave the kids at home with him while you spend the evening shopping...or go rent a movie to watch and relax.

 

And if he does help out, thank him for it. No, he shouldn't need to be thanked...after all, he should be helping out, but a grateful attitude can go a long way. Smile at him next time you see him doing something, or give him a kiss and thank him after he does the dishes...or cooks dinner.

 

But of course, if he's really stubborn and spoiled, stick to Tony's advice and go on strike. Don't lift a finger.

[sparkle]

If your husband won't do anything, rent a husband!

 

www.rent-a-husband.com