Family doesn't approve

[Ruby Fox]

Long story short; the man I love (Jim) has a not so good family. He is my mother’s friends son. My mom and her friend Sara have been friends since highschool; and now my mom doesn’t care for her. Sara isn’t exactly a good person and always wants money from her son. Jim already wants to marry me. No we’re not dating and I told him I’m still not sure of a relationship. I do want one and I see us being happy; but my parents don’t like the idea. They don’t think he can financially take care of me and they don’t want anything to do with his family. And I really don’t want anything to do with them either to be honest. But I love Jim and want him to have a better life. He’s been doing much better for himself. What do I do? I had a much longer back story but I’m new here so I wanted to just be short. 

[basil67]

I feel there's an important back story here, and I feel I can't advise without a greater understanding.

First of all, how old are you?  How old is he?  Have you experienced stable relationships in the past?

Why don't your parents like him and his family?

You say he's doing much better now....what has he been going on in his past?

Him wanting to marry you when you're not even in a relationship indicates that he could be impulsive or putting the cart before the horse.  Does he do this in other parts of his life too?

What is this about him not being able to financially take care of you?  Sure, you'd want to know he's got it covered if you're a SAHM for a while, but wouldn't you also be working and contributing?  

[Gebidozo]

First of all, I’d advise you to steer clear of a man who wants to marry you without even being in a relationship with you. I hope you’re able to see it for the huge red flag that it is.

Second, I’d advise Jim to steer clear of a woman who chooses partners based on her parents’ opinions. I hope he’s able to see it for the huge red flag that it is.

I’d suggest that you start choosing partners exclusively according to your own personal preferences, and avoid men who are willing to rush into a marriage without having a proper relationship beforehand.

[ExpatInItaly]

7 hours ago, Gebidozo said:

First of all, I’d advise you to steer clear of a man who wants to marry you without even being in a relationship with you. I hope you’re able to see it for the huge red flag that it is.

I agree. 

OP, doesn't that set off alarm bells for you?