do any woman marry for Companionship alone without sex

[Els]

19 hours ago, Foxhall said:

I think If C had married me- I would have always stayed loyal- I would not have had sexual relations with L or anyone else.

You can't put that responsibility on someone else or rely on someone to "keep you" from cheating... That's a child's excuse for doing something wrong! You are the only person that has control over your limbs and your penis, so the decision is on you.

If you're not happy in a relationship, you need to leave, not cheat. Cheating doesn't solve anything, it just makes you waste both of your time - yours and hers. If you're cheating regularly on your partner, the relationship is beyond hope anyway, so why not leave?

Otherwise, if you want to be poly, then you need to date women who are poly themselves. Then it won't be cheating.

[Foxhall]

5 hours ago, Miss Chrysalis said:

How do you define this?

Hello,

Well I suppose how have I tried to be a good partner in my relationships is the best way I can answer this,

I try to be a kind supportive partner, to enjoy going to events and going on trips together, to support her emotionally, financially (if she wants), to try to be romantic as best I can or am able, to cook nice food for her (Im good cook I think)

to give her , her own space- Im not a controlling or possessive guy, but Im there if she needs me,  to communicate well with my partner and be able to talk things through. 

C- I tried to do everything I could for that girl- I got her away from the sex industry, I got her a job in childcare, I tried to be a supporting and loving partner to her during our time together. Then she left me. "ok I did my best". Then she returned eight years later- and I hesitated I told her did not think could leave K- 

The second time I let C down- I will regret that until the day I shut my eyes. Ive always loved her the most.

 

K- I tried to organise fun dates and adventures. She was a single Mum during our relationship. I offered to help with family outings to be a good family man. I went on family trips and got her a dog for her birthday. I gave the relationship a good shot for 4 out of our 5 years together. I tried to fit in with her friends circle, to learn her hobbies, to support her with organising events. She was a workaholic so I tried to take some of the pressure off her. 

 

Im probably more attracted to a hard luck story type- C was a little vulnerable in the early days though shes a strong woman now! She told me she was "lost" and I felt such love for her in that moment.

K is an academic achiever. A strong independent woman- ultimately she never really let me in if that makes sense- she included me when it suited her but she did not need me. She showed me a lot of kindness in fairness and knew my quirks well. Our relationship was not passionate love but we had something. Its probably best it has ended , though I will recall our time together with fondness - for the most part at least.

[Gebidozo]

2 hours ago, Foxhall said:

The second time I let C down- I will regret that until the day I shut my eyes. Ive always loved her the most.

I’m sorry if I’m out of line here, but I really hope, for your sake, that you’ll change the way you view C and your relationship with her. You loved the idea of being a kind prince that rescues a “fallen” woman from her dreadful existence and turns her into an “honest” one. I’m not saying that the relationship was doomed simply because it started as that fantasy. Sometimes these scenarios do have a happy ending. But the reality is that she left you without any other reason but her lack of love to you. Continuing to idealize her and long for a revival of that connection is harmful to you and puts your future relationships in jeopardy.

[basil67]

2 hours ago, Foxhall said:

C- I tried to do everything I could for that girl- I got her away from the sex industry, I got her a job in childcare, I tried to be a supporting and loving partner to her during our time together. Then she left me. "ok I did my best".

I'm sure you realise that helping someone grow, develop and better their lives changes them.  Thing is, change and personal development doesn't happen in isolation.  As we change, we often move away from the things we used to enjoy and head in other directions.   As it stood, you were part of her past as a sex worker but she moved on from that phase of her life.   

[Foxhall]

Thank you to all,

when I posted this thread, I did not foresee sharing so much information,

I imagine you see me as something of a nutcase or whatever, but I found a therapeutic element within the thread,

to be fair you are a genuine group of people and have given me good advice and pointers.

 

[NuevoYorko]

You don't seem like a nutcase.  

[Gebidozo]

3 hours ago, Foxhall said:

I imagine you see me as something of a nutcase

Not me. I’m a much bigger nutcase, anyway. I’ve done things compared to which your stuff seems very mild. And I think that you’re genuinely interested in improving your mental health and are open to changing certain things in your mindset, which is something a lot of people aren’t willing to do.