What does he mean by this?

[DB24]

The married man that I’m dating tells me that….since I’m a professional woman, he’s gonna treat me as such.  As the man that he is he would not disrespect me, my household, or bring any problems my way and like myself, know that I have a good person in my back pocket! Then he sent a kissy face emoji 😘. What does all of this mean? I have yet to respond to it.

Edited December 29, 2024 by DB24
A mistake in spelling

[Gebidozo]

You aren’t dating him, you’re having an affair with him. He has betrayed his wife and is lying to her on a regular basis. There can be no talk of respect or trust until he divorces his wife. Please do yourself a favor and tell him that you’re stopping the affair. Tell him he can contact you again when he’s divorced if he wants a relationship with you.

[BaileyB]

28 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

There can be no talk of respect or trust until he divorces his wife.

This. You would be very wise not to trust a man who you know to be dishonest and untrustworthy. 

In terms of this rather vague and leading statement, the only person who can tell you what he truly means by this statement is the man himself. Personally, I think he may be trying to get your assurance that you are not going to threaten his marriage. He’s trusting, as the good and professional woman that you are, that you will behave professionally and respect your MM - and by extension, his marriage. 

[basil67]

Sounds to me like he's going to pay you by the hour and not fall in love with you.    I can't think of any other meaning around treating you as a professional woman and not disrespecting your household

[DB24]

15 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Sounds to me like he's going to pay you by the hour and not fall in love with you.    I can't think of any other meaning around treating you as a professional woman and not disrespecting your household

By professional woman he means my career. I am a business woman.

[basil67]

44 minutes ago, DB24 said:

By professional woman he means my career. I am a business woman.

Sorry, I couldn't resist having a play with this nonsense he's talking.  Fact is, that you are a businesswoman shouldn't make any difference at all in how you are treated.    The guy is a cheater and is just spinning you a line....no different to the lines he spins to his wife.  

Don't ever make the mistake of believing that you're special to him

 

[DB24]

25 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Sorry, I couldn't resist having a play with this nonsense he's talking.  Fact is, that you are a businesswoman shouldn't make any difference at all in how you are treated.    The guy is a cheater and is just spinning you a line....no different to the lines he spins to his wife.  

Don't ever make the mistake of believing that you're special to him

 

Yeah see the lies. He tried to tell me that what he did with me is rare.

[basil67]

Just now, DB24 said:

Yeah see the lies. He tried to tell me that what he did with me is rare.

The best response to this is to block him.  

[BaileyB]

19 minutes ago, DB24 said:

He tried to tell me that what he did with me is rare.

MM spin stories for their affair partners because if they told the truth - that they are happily married and looking for a little extra something - it would be more difficult to find a woman who is interested in having sex with him…

Married men lie - dishonesty is inherent in the nature of the affair. He can try to make this betrayal more socially acceptable, but at the end of the day… he is just another man who is lying and betraying the woman he vowed to love and put above any other… and you would be wise not to ignore or dismiss that as an inconvenient truth.



 

Edited December 30, 2024 by BaileyB

[DB24]

12 minutes ago, BaileyB said:

MM spin stories for their affair partners because if they told the truth - that they are happily married and looking for a little extra something - it would be more difficult to find a woman who is interested in having sex with him…

Married men lie - dishonesty is inherent in the nature of the affair. He can try to make this betrayal more socially acceptable, but at the end of the day… he is just another man who is lying and betraying the woman he vowed to love and put above any other… and you would be wise not to ignore or dismiss that as an inconvenient truth.



 

He really had me convinced that he was a good guy. He said he can’t believe we actually had sex and tried to make it seem like I was the first.

[BaileyB]

17 minutes ago, DB24 said:

He really had me convinced that he was a good guy.

Men of integrity and character don’t generally go around having sex with women who are not their wives. 
 

17 minutes ago, DB24 said:

He said he can’t believe we actually had sex and tried to make it seem like I was the first.

That may be true. Or maybe not. 

As basil said above, the best course of action is to block him before you get more involved and deeply hurt. 

Edited December 30, 2024 by BaileyB

[basil67]

1 hour ago, DB24 said:

He really had me convinced that he was a good guy. He said he can’t believe we actually had sex and tried to make it seem like I was the first.

Perhaps you were his first affair.   Thing is though, being his first affair is nothing to be proud of

[DB24]

2 hours ago, BaileyB said:

Men of integrity and character don’t generally go around having sex with women who are not their wives. 
 

That may be true. Or maybe not. 

As basil said above, the best course of action is to block him before you get more involved and deeply hurt. 

I agree! I haven’t talked to him today and I decided to block him.  I don’t want things to get any worse than they already are.

[DB24]

42 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Perhaps you were his first affair.   Thing is though, being his first affair is nothing to be proud of

I’m not proud of it. I have just been getting clarity of who he is and he has been very manipulative. I haven’t talked to him today and I blocked him. I may as well start my new better life without him today.  

[NuevoYorko]

He sounds smarmy.

[Amanda logan]

By mentioning that you’re a professional woman, he might be signaling respect for your independence, achievements, and the boundaries you might have as a professional individual.

He’s saying he won’t bring problems or disrespect into your life, which might be his way of reassuring you that he intends to keep things discreet and complication-free.

He values having you as someone dependable or special in his life.
He sees the relationship as a convenient or supplementary part of his life rather than a central focus.
It suggests a sense of possessiveness or casualness, as though you’re someone he can rely on but not commit to fully.

Does his message align with what you want from the relationship? His words suggest he’s focused on discretion and maintaining a secondary relationship.
Are you comfortable with this dynamic? If not, it’s worth reflecting on what you want and communicating it clearly.
Respect for Yourself and Others: Given that he’s married, think about how this situation aligns with your values and long-term goals.
If you’re unsure how to respond, you might want to ask for clarification about his intentions or take time to reflect on what you want from the relationship before replying.

[MsJayne]

My sympathy goes to his wife, she's married to a jerk. This guy sees all women as intellectually inferior, hence his dumb**s statements about you being a professional and treating you as such, and the drivel about respecting your household, etc. How about he just respect you and your household regardless of what you do for a living and regardless of whether you're a male or female?  He's got a nerve talking about respect when he's sneaking around behind his wife's back like a grubby little snake. He's a sexist drongo, don't degrade yourself by feeding his enormous ego. I recommend burning sage in your house to purge any sleazy vibes he's left stuck to the walls. 

[BaileyB]

If he respected you and your household, he would have maintained an appropriate boundary and he wouldn’t have involved you in his marriage and this kind of affair drama. This is not the behavior of a man who respects women - either yourself or his wife. 

[Achelois]

16 hours ago, DB24 said:

The married man that I’m dating tells me that….since I’m a professional woman, he’s gonna treat me as such.  As the man that he is he would not disrespect me, my household, or bring any problems my way and like myself, know that I have a good person in my back pocket! Then he sent a kissy face emoji 😘. What does all of this mean? I have yet to respond to it.

As the man that he is??? He isn’t a man. He is a disgusting cheater who doesn’t respect his wife. So don’t expect any respect from him. Just think if you really want to be the second option, the one he hides. Stop it, he will probably continue cheating on his wife with other woman but at least Karma won’t catch up with you.

Edited December 30, 2024 by Achelois

[stillafool]

12 hours ago, DB24 said:

He really had me convinced that he was a good guy. He said he can’t believe we actually had sex and tried to make it seem like I was the first.

How did you ever think that a married man having sex with you was a good man?  Surely you know better than that.  They'll say anything to get sex.  How did he even get your number?

[DB24]

6 minutes ago, stillafool said:

How did you ever think that a married man having sex with you was a good man?  Surely you know better than that.  They'll say anything to get sex.  How did he even get your number?

Initially, I didn’t know he was married. I found out in my own by doing some digging. 

[DB24]

56 minutes ago, Achelois said:

As the man that he is??? He isn’t a man. He is a disgusting cheater who doesn’t respect his wife. So don’t expect any respect from him. Just think if you really want to be the second option, the one he hides. Stop it, he will probably continue cheating on his wife with other woman but at least Karma won’t catch up with you.

I have ended it with him. 

[DB24]

1 hour ago, happyhorizons said:

You deserve so much better than THIS CLOWN.  You matter and that should be paramount in your thinking.  Good Luck.

You’re right that’s why I’m done with him.

[BaileyB]

1 hour ago, DB24 said:

Initially, I didn’t know he was married. I found out in my own by doing some digging. 

So, that was your first clue that he wasn’t a “good” man with honest intentions. 

[DB24]

47 minutes ago, S2B said:

So HE never told you he was married? 

every time you “date” anyone do a background check to be sure they aren’t married.

did he actually take you OUT on dates? Or was he hiding you? How did you find out he was married?

And good job ending it!!!

He never told me he was married. When I met him he said that he was single. He talks about his kids but never mentioned a wife. I actually found out he was indeed married through a background check when I realized something was off. He always came to my house and never invited me to his which made me suspicious. He has a Facebook page but his wife is nowhere on his page and he doesn’t have a marital status. We did go out in public together. He had just invited me to go out with him the night before I found out about his wife.