Frkn Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 Hello! I am 40 years old and have been married to my wife for almost 15 years. We have two children and I believe we have a happy marriage. Even so, from time to time, some things make me anxious. I know that it is not my wife's fault. Here's the thing. I was an introverted and shy child and teenager. This means that I never went to parties, never drank, had few friends and no girlfriends. In other words, my wife was my first girlfriend. She, on the other hand, had a normal adolescence and early adulthood. She went out to parties every week, drank a lot and often, had a lot of boyfriends and quick flings, and had casual sex a few times. At the beginning of our relationship, knowing these things was not a problem. Over time, however, my social and sexual inexperience began to worry me. I began to imagine that perhaps she thought I was too innocent and naive. I asked myself (and still ask myself) if I was and am enough for her in sexual terms, since I don't even have a previous parameter to know if she was really satisfied, since I've never dated or had sex with anyone before her. When we go out and go to restaurants and bars, I see that she knows the names and flavors of dozens and dozens of drinks very well. Furthermore, it is noticeable that, in these environments, she masters the art of social interaction, using smiles and some mischief, elements that completely escape my field of knowledge and action. To this day, I feel really naive around her, which is something whose mere description already embarrasses me. I end up feeling inferior, small. I like her and I firmly intend to spend the rest of my life with her, however these questions haunt me. Has anyone been through a similar situation? Does anyone have any advice or a different view on everything I've explained? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 1 hour ago, Frkn said: I like her and I firmly intend to spend the rest of my life with her, This is rather odd thing to say about the woman you've been married to for 15 years. I would think that you like her and want to spend your life with her goes without saying. I point this out because i wonder if you struggle with other social relationships. Do you sometimes find yourself feeling this way around friends? Coworkers? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 3 hours ago, Frkn said: I don't even have a previous parameter to know if she was really satisfied, since I've never dated or had sex with anyone before her. I think you forgot the sex workers you've had sex with Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted January 8 Share Posted January 8 (edited) 1 hour ago, basil67 said: I think you forgot the sex workers you've had sex with What a plot twist! Note to self: always check the OP’s past forum activity before naively believing their narrative is 100% true. OP, is your current wife the same person as the girlfriend you cheated on with prostitutes? Edited January 8 by Gebidozo 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Frkn Posted January 8 Author Share Posted January 8 4 hours ago, basil67 said: I think you forgot the sex workers you've had sex with Actually I didn't. I must apologize for my bad English. This is not my mother language and most of the time I use Google translator and my poor skills to translate what I want to say. In that other post I meant I went out with my friends and we talked to sex workers and I even flirted with women who were sex workers, my friends actually had sex with them, I was on the verge of doing it, but I didn't. I assume at that point I wanted to do it, and, as I state, I consider cheating wrong and it would be cheating in my opinion even if there was no sex, flirting is wrong, although I wanted to. After all, I didn't have sex with them. However, by reading the other post, I see how it was poorly written, sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Frkn Posted January 8 Author Share Posted January 8 5 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: This is rather odd thing to say about the woman you've been married to for 15 years. I would think that you like her and want to spend your life with her goes without saying. I point this out because i wonder if you struggle with other social relationships. Do you sometimes find yourself feeling this way around friends? Coworkers? Yes, I have issues in every relationship, I'm socially awkward. I have a hard time talking to people. As I said in the first place, it's not my wife's fault, it's my fault, but it makes me suffer Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts