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What to do when he just wants to be friends


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Acacia98

We've already given you advice on what to do, OP. But you've chosen not to follow it. What's the point of asking for more advice (which is going to be exactly what you were told before) if you're not going to follow it?

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ExpatInItaly
3 hours ago, Acacia98 said:

What's the point of asking for more advice (which is going to be exactly what you were told before) if you're not going to follow it?

Yes, just realized OP asked for advice about this man before. 

OP,  what are you doing? Do you have a tendency to hang on to dead-ends? 

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JuicyFruit-90
18 hours ago, ShyViolet said:

Isn't it obvious what you should do?  Stop being friends with him.  It was ridiculous to stay "friends" with a guy who you only dated for a short time and who told you that you aren't attractive.  What were you thinking even remaining "friends" with him at all?  This guy obviously has very little respect for you, and you have been allowing it.  He is not your friend, he is your ex.  There is no reason for you to keep this guy in your life as a friend.

Hi ShyViolet, walking away from someone where feelings ‘were developing’ is not easy, well, not for me.  Of course I was hurt from his comment.  I had imagined keeping him within my circle as a friend, with the odd coffee meet here and there would help me to gradually move on, and it was working, but then he asked for advice, and it quickly snowballed. I made a bad judgment call. Lessons learned. 

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JuicyFruit-90
3 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Yes, just realized OP asked for advice about this man before. 

OP,  what are you doing? Do you have a tendency to hang on to dead-ends? 

Yeah, real Funny! I wish I wasn’t in this situation but I am.  Thanks!

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ExpatInItaly
2 hours ago, JuicyFruit-90 said:

Yeah, real Funny! I wish I wasn’t in this situation but I am.  Thanks!

I'm not being funny. 

I'm asking: do you tend to hang on even when it's clear the other person doesn't want what you want? Has this sort of thing happened before?

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JuicyFruit-90
54 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

I'm not being funny. 

I'm asking: do you tend to hang on even when it's clear the other person doesn't want what you want? Has this sort of thing happened before?

When the other person is initiating all the contact and arranging all the meet ups, one generally starts to think it’s genuine, and not for some ulterior motive.

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basil67
2 hours ago, JuicyFruit-90 said:

When the other person is initiating all the contact and arranging all the meet ups, one generally starts to think it’s genuine, and not for some ulterior motive.

Genuine friendship?   Sure, and he's acting like you're good friends by asking dating advice.   This is what friends do

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ExpatInItaly
11 hours ago, JuicyFruit-90 said:

When the other person is initiating all the contact and arranging all the meet ups, one generally starts to think it’s genuine, and not for some ulterior motive.

Genuine in what sense? 

Geuinely wants to be friends? 

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