asked a girl if she was available on Saturdays or Sundays to go out for coffee: is her response a sign of disinterest?/rant

[basil67]

3 minutes ago, tazz4 said:

I honestly find it really obnoxious when women play mind games with me. this is part of the reason I get bitter. like why reach out to me in the first place? Just say you're not interested or changed your mind. assuming she just wants attention like a lot of women do online...

So block her

[Georgia46]

Sadly there are lots of people, both on and offline who like to play games

.  It’s because they aren’t happy in their own lives.   

[Foxhall]

All you can do is your best and learn from what you did wrong or learn from previous inadequacies as you go along,

everyone gets a few chances- every dog has his day,

Personally Ive had a few chances with love and blown them but I still think Ill get a few more,

your describing there about a girl not texting you back- im probably having a similar scenario just now of someone I had a decent date with a week ago and has not replied to me since,

the difference is I am more ambivalent to it now, I dont care if she texts me back or does not, if she does I think I can make headway , if not no hassle it was nice to meet her once or twice,

get yourself in the mix and enjoy small victories, dont put excess pressure on yourself - there are times when you need to be brave but for the time being I would not force things.

 

 

 

[Gebidozo]

5 hours ago, tazz4 said:

and those men make various salaries?

Obviously, like everyone else. What does this have to do with anything? 

[Gebidozo]

2 hours ago, tazz4 said:

I honestly find it really obnoxious when women play mind games with me. this is part of the reason I get bitter.

Nobody is playing mind games with you. Women have the right to change their mind about liking or disliking you or any other guy at any time. You continue to hold the false view that women owe you something.

I could have understood bitterness if your wife of 30 years suddenly leaves you out of nowhere for another guy or something like that. But to be bitter at women and life because some stranger online isn’t communicating clearly for whatever reason is pure madness.

You have issues with envy, rage, bitterness, and other negative emotions that are ruining your life. You need professional help. If your therapist isn’t telling you at least what we’re telling you here, you should find a better therapist.

[tazz4]

18 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

Obviously, like everyone else. What does this have to do with anything? 

because I feel like if a less than conventionally attractive or below average guy is with a girl who is at least somewhat conventionally attractive makes good money to make up for lack of physical appearance.

I didn't exactly ask that question clearly lol my bad

Edited January 11 by tazz4

[tazz4]

9 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

Nobody is playing mind games with you. Women have the right to change their mind about liking or disliking you or any other guy at any time. You continue to hold the false view that women owe you something.

I could have understood bitterness if your wife of 30 years suddenly leaves you out of nowhere for another guy or something like that. But to be bitter at women and life because some stranger online isn’t communicating clearly for whatever reason is pure madness.

You have issues with envy, rage, bitterness, and other negative emotions that are ruining your life. You need professional help. If your therapist isn’t telling you at least what we’re telling you here, you should find a better therapist.

I'm not saying they owe me something I'm saying she should say she isn't interested at the time instead of beating around the bush. I'd rather her just ghost me at that point. She answers my other questions but doesn't say anything about me trying to plan a date.  But yea, you're right about the online stranger thing I guess. I'm over it. I barely knnow anything about her. I guess I overreacted. I feel like I only get chances once in a blue moon. I don't know if my luck with dating is a reflection of my luck trying to get a date offline.

My therapist is saying similar things to what you guys are saying to some extent. I just don't know when it will resonate with me. That's my problem I guess.

Edited January 11 by tazz4

[Gebidozo]

35 minutes ago, tazz4 said:

because I feel like if a less than conventionally attractive or below average guy is with a girl who is at least somewhat conventionally attractive makes good money to make up for lack of physical appearance.

Well, I’m an average looking guy and my fiancée is gorgeous. She earns about the same as I do and doesn’t need a man to provide for her. If you ask her whether my money makes up for my lack of physical appearance, she wouldn’t even understand the question. Both physical appearance and money are lower on her list of preferences than personality, spiritual values, intelligence, talent, and so on.

Money makes up for lack of physical appearance only to those who value money and physical appearance above other traits. But are you even sure that you want to date such women? I wouldn’t.

 

 

[tazz4]

4 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

Well, I’m an average looking guy and my fiancée is gorgeous. She earns about the same as I do and doesn’t need a man to provide for her. If you ask her whether my money makes up for my lack of physical appearance, she wouldn’t even understand the question. Both physical appearance and money are lower on her list of preferences than personality, spiritual values, intelligence, talent, and so on.

Money makes up for lack of physical appearance only to those who value money and physical appearance above other traits. But are you even sure that you want to date such women? I wouldn’t.

 

 

There are always rare exceptions. And no I don't want to date someone who only cared about looks and money and nothing else.

[basil67]

xxx

Edited January 11 by basil67

[Gebidozo]

5 hours ago, tazz4 said:

There are always rare exceptions

But these aren’t exceptions. I know a lot of men who aren’t conventionally handsome but who have beautiful girlfriends and wives. I also know couples where the man is more conventionally attractive than the woman. So what? As long as they are happy, what’s the problem? Why do you care so much who chooses to be with whom and for what reasons?

 

5 hours ago, tazz4 said:

And no I don't want to date someone who only cared about looks and money and nothing else.

Then why are you so envious of those tall, rich, muscular guys who get hundreds of likes? Obviously, they are getting most of those likes from women who mostly care about looks and money. If that isn’t the type of women that you want to date, why do you care whom they date?