24M talking to 23F, in a house of confusion

[ramz]

In last month, a girl sent me request on Snapchat, so i accepted the request. Starting days, there was an exchange of snaps only and once i texted her but she doesn't replied, so i saved her snap (capturing front face) and later that evening she texted me asking why i saved her snaps, so the starting was exchange of heated arguments and later she revealed the truth that she is from same hometown of my parents and that our parents know each other very well and she has saw me once, when visited my home, (which later i remember her seeing). So we started chatting from that day and we chatted every day, time varying form 1.5 hr to 3 hr, we used to talk casual, starting from knowing about the day each other, and discussing general things, so after 1 or 2 week she asked me to be her friend and i accepted her. After friendship thing, i noticed that our chats were crossing the line of friendship and we were entering new world, sometimes she would talks about relationship and i also says something flirteous.

So I started developing feeling for her. I would wake up in morning and check phone that she had send the snaps, sometimes she would text me late, for which she says dont wait for my reply and focus on yr studying. So later days, she revealed that she was engaged for 2 years but this year her engagement was canceled when she caught her fiance cheating on her with his office girl. So as a good boy, i gave her emotional support by praising her encourage and sorry for this traumatic incident. 

So my papers were ahead the girl was all over me, so i decided to tell her my feeling, so i texted her saying i have feeling for her.

She responded that she is not willing to enter in relationship, as her experience and now she doesn't believe in relationships. She would said that she liked me and loves to talk with me but doesn't want to enter in relationship. During this discussion at one point she said that if 'you gave me commitment for marriage.' which i was reluctant, as i am student of college in third year and I don't know what would be in future and i dont want to hurt her, as she has already experience the trauma, and i don't want to add in it.

So she rejected me but still she talked with me for two days. After 2 days, i texted her not message me any more, as i want a girl who would support me in my life during my struggle. I asked her to unfriend me on Snapchat and also unfollow on insta. I unfriended her on snap and unfollow on insta. At last she was keen on talking with me but i was confused so i take the decision, but she hasn't unfollow me on insta and watches my stories (sometimes react) and sure than 50% that she hasn't unfriend me on Snapchat as after day of texting i friended her again to see my text what i have texted, so all chats were their. ( I checked texts as her parents now mine, and she know my czns and contact them casually. So i was bit of sacred that she might tell czns, so i wanted be sure that i might have send any inappropriate msg).

 

So now she watches my story, and i kind of feel regret that she was the one who sent me a friend request and she was always to talk me and she would says to me that if u want to talk anything, u can talk with me. Now my exams are ongoing and during time i kind of feeling very sad. My mind is also confused, sometimes i think i should text her, ask her for sorry for my rude behavior, but my ego would allow me to it, thinking that she might think of me desperate and does having her, affect my studies or goals, so this confusion is my home now. Even i have asked that if don't like me or don't like me, say it. But she refuses to say it.

[Gebidozo]

She did directly tell you that she doesn’t want a relationship with you. That means that she doesn’t like you romantically. You did right by blocking her, please don’t follow her activities anymore, block her completely.

For the future, remember that “I can’t be in a relationship right now” is, with very few exceptions, code for “I don’t want to have a relationship with you”. The moment a woman says that to you, you can stop hoping.

Also, it should be a red flag for you if a woman demands from you marriage guarantees in exchange for a relationship. Either she knew very well that you, like any other normal person, would be reluctant to succumb to this kind of pressure, which means that she is manipulative; or she’d really be together with you if you gave her marriage promises, which means that she is in an emotional turmoil and really isn’t ready for a relationship now.