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Life After Divorce


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Hello everyone, I’m new here, joining at the recommendation of a friend. A little about me: I married in 2014 and have three wonderful children. Unfortunately, over time, my marriage became increasingly difficult due to my wife’s behavior. After much effort to help and support her, the relationship ended as she became more focused on alcohol. The divorce brought its challenges, including abuse and false allegations, but I’m now happily moving forward as a single father with full custody of my kids.

Since the divorce, I haven’t had much luck dating or meeting people who are mentally stimulating or non-judgmental. Is this something others experience, or is it just me?

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rainrhonda

I'm in my 40's and just ended a 10 year relationship that was on/off. In between I attempted dating sites and it was hopeless. Dating has changed so very much since in recent years. Rarely did I meet someone I genuinely liked, and if I did then they would end up ghosting me or I just didn't feel any chemistry/attraction. The online dating is awkward yet it's a normal way of life anymore. There's also scammers & Catfishing so you have to monitor that in addition to the work of finding a good connection. It's frustrating because everybody has 100's of options & it's a lot of competition, etc. People have no problem ghosting you without explanation, after you think it's going great so your left confused & hurt. 

If you have some interests, like say Golf, maybe join a country club. If you like music, go to concerts, offer to buy a drink for someone attractive. This way is a good place to start because you & that person already have something in common to talk about.

But yes you are correct that people seem way more judgemental & insensitive. It's very hard to feel a true connection.

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I totally agree with you. I'm 37 and I've had the same experience and ended up quitting dating apps and singles events. Every time things seem to go well, I hear excuses like, "You've got young kids, I'm not looking to be a mum." I'm like, I never asked anyone to be their mum!

I do martial arts and see people at the gym, but there's just no connection and I go dog walking but it just feels as if when I do meet and see people I like they're either married or just don't want to date me lol.

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I was married for 30 years and was in my 50's when my divorce happened.  Yes, dating is hard and I hated it.  I guess I just didn't know how to do it since it had been so long.  Having said that, unbelievably I found a sweetheart of a girl finally and yes it was from a dating site.  We've been together for over a year now.  I don't know the success rate from such things, but it can happen.  Don't give up.

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I always get mixed feelings for it, sometimes it's ok, other days I get a bit annoyed. I won't give up but neither am I too fussed if something doesn't happen. However, I do find some women not all quite judgement due to me raising my own children and that's ok, everyone has a preference. 

I just feel right now and for the past 5 years, I'm I doing something wrong? Just unsure what's going on.

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15 hours ago, Supersev said:

I always get mixed feelings for it, sometimes it's ok, other days I get a bit annoyed. I won't give up but neither am I too fussed if something doesn't happen. However, I do find some women not all quite judgement due to me raising my own children and that's ok, everyone has a preference. 

I just feel right now and for the past 5 years, I'm I doing something wrong? Just unsure what's going on.

I don't think you are doing anything wrong.  I think it's the walls some of us have built up around us to protect ourselves from getting hurt again.  If another relationship happens,,,,great.  If it doesn't,,,,great.  

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4 hours ago, tzorno said:

I don't think you are doing anything wrong.  I think it's the walls some of us have built up around us to protect ourselves from getting hurt again.  If another relationship happens,,,,great.  If it doesn't,,,,great.  

I'm unsure, I've accepted that not everyone is the same and accept that it could happen again, it's just part of life, you have to be able to trust another person.

I was happy getting divorced to tell you the truth, my ex wife was vile, the moment she left I could see the dark clouds disappearing and the sun was starting to shine again.

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