RainyDayWoman Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 giving advice isn't smugness. telling of past experiences isn't smugness. if she was confident in her choices and decisions, she wouldn't be asking for help from anyone, 'older and wiser' or not. i don't even believe this girl is 21, to be honest, given her overall attitude and unnecessary outbursts. but that doesn't mean we don't want to help. or it's a troll looking to argue, who knows? such is LS. Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 The OP called the BS poster a b**** for obvious reasons. The BS poster was a BS poster, doing what BS posters do. It was posted with the sole aim of having a go at an EX ow. Well that's not called for here. And you can't see that? Interesting. There are other boards available where the comments are limited to only the perspective of the OW. This isn't one of them. The other comments in your post about 'being 21' etc etc... It strikes me just the same as it did in earlier posts here... Many people would like to be 21 again without the lack of knowledge of life. I can't begin to fathom WHY anyone would want to do that. You can't get back your youth by banging on to someone else about their life. WTF does that mean? Are you saying that the only possible reason that an older person would share their experience is to live vicariously through another person? If you want to help someone, you have to time-travel a little (I think)... You have to empathise. Empathize? or Agree? There's a difference, Sami. There is not so much of that on this thread. Your opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 giving advice isn't smugness. telling of past experiences isn't smugness. if she was confident in her choices and decisions, she wouldn't be asking for help from anyone, 'older and wiser' or not. i don't even believe this girl is 21, to be honest, given her overall attitude and unnecessary outbursts. but that doesn't mean we don't want to help. or it's a troll looking to argue, who knows? such is LS. More dismissal and useless comment..? You suggest she's A TROLL..? On what ground? You 'don't believe'..? It doesn't strike me as a thread made up. I really wonder about so many negative, non-useful posts. And yes, I agree, giving advice, and telling of past experience isn't smugness. I believe I've been on these boards and seen enough to know and prove from my own sharing that I agree. I am not talkng about those things. I am talking about particular comments made on this thread Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 There are other boards available where the comments are limited to only the perspective of the OW. This isn't one of them. Err... yes, thanks. I am quite aware of that. I am not interested in YOUR perspective of the OW, protected forum blah blah whatever things you're bringing up here. YES... women posting here will cop all sorts of comment ... the fact that some of those comments are from BS and judgemental positions should NOT be something to be 'expected'... from LS. I happen to have a different POV of how things might be. I would like to look at the OP and take it for what it is. And not some excuse for the bashing that has gone on here. You may do what you like. Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 unnecessary outbursts. Hilarious. This is someone looking for advice. HER MM is So close to being NOT married it's almost ignorable. FOR ONCE I would have thought to have seen some treatment of a situation that was at least cognisant of the facts. But no... And then you wonder why her 'outbursts' are 'unnecessary'? About as unnecessary (useless, in terms of a response...and therefore a far bigger nuisance) as these posts. WHAT exactly are you offering, in the way of advice..? ARE you looking at her situation, or using it as a convenient bashing place for OW in general..? Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 sami, emotional outbursts are unnessesary b/c 1. the post she flipped about was not negative just saying she should leave b/c the guy sounds like a jerk . 2. b/c emotional outbursts such as calling someone a Bit*& are a sign of immaturity. Why wouldent the wife want her kids around the poster , maybe b/c this poster has a view of the mother that shes a fat ugly lazy Bitc7? boy that would be a reason, wouldent it ? Other than that, the guy had a life before her , a family kids they have to remain his priority . If he dosent treat her well she should leave , well unless she wants to put up with it , then she can stay . If you dont want people to respond, why post?????????? Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted January 15, 2006 Share Posted January 15, 2006 I am not interested in YOUR perspective of the OW, protected forum blah blah whatever things you're bringing up here. Then isn't it just really convenient for you that no one's forcing you to read MY perspective? I believe LS offers a 'blocking' feature for just that sort of thing. It certainly won't hurt my feelings if you utilize it. You may do what you like. I'm aware of that. But thank you sooooo very much for thinking of me. Link to post Share on other sites
RainyDayWoman Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Hilarious. This is someone looking for advice. HER MM is So close to being NOT married it's almost ignorable. FOR ONCE I would have thought to have seen some treatment of a situation that was at least cognisant of the facts. But no... And then you wonder why her 'outbursts' are 'unnecessary'? sami needs something to gripe about...as usual. pretends to abide by "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all" and then goes and opens her own mouth. and what's this about wondering why her 'outbursts' are 'unnecessary'? that doesn't even make sense. anyway... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Stress Lady Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 This guy is stringing you along and showing you no happiness whatsoever - you deserve a lot more than that - the best thing you can do is join a boxing class to work off some of that stress, draw a line and start thinking of all the awesome single guys that are out there who will truly love and appreciate you. Guys that you can have a decent relationship with - that will take you home to meet their family, will take you out and be proud to be with you, that wil want you to meet their friends, that oneday may become your husband and give you your own family. As long as you're involved with this guy that's NEVER going to happen. The family issues aren't going to go away. You aren't ever going to be on any kind of amicable terms with his spouse - and the last thing he's going to do is waltz into another marriage with you (if he ever extricates himself from this one). And you don't need that anway. No matter how angry you are and how hurt you are you have to take a deep breath and just walk from this - he's not even going to think of respecting you while things stay like this. He's giving you nothing but pain and you know you've got the strength to say "enough is enough". You're sensible enough to seek advice and that's the first step. Leave this guy to his own problems and think of yourself for a change. What would you say to your best friend if she was going through the same experience? It's not easy but believe me you'll soon be looking back and thinking "What was I doing with that loser?" Good luck and let us know how things go.... Link to post Share on other sites
Sami_D Posted January 17, 2006 Share Posted January 17, 2006 and what's this about wondering why her 'outbursts' are 'unnecessary'? that doesn't even make sense. What it's about is wondering why people don't understand the frustration and consequent 'outbursts' of people who come here for help and advice and get Lectures. I get frustrated with this board at times. I would like to use the forum for the purpose it's intended. Instead of which I find myself unlikely to post any questions or problems I have because of the tone of the responses I will have to field. I can beat myself up enough about my relationship without asking complete strangers to do it for me. OK, that's my choice. I can make that choice because I've been here a while and I know what to expect. But I hate to see newcomers who are usually desperate and unhappy and confused treated as if they're idiots with no morals. I KNOW that these boards aren't protected places. I don't actually think that the protected boards are quite as useful at times. I think it's a good thing that anyone can read and post here. BUT just as much as the judgmental crowd are free to post what they like, I will feel free to point out what damage their posts do from time to time. I'll also make more use of the 'report this post' button rather than responding on the thread, since this type of debate doesn't do much for the forum either. Link to post Share on other sites
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