Helicon5 Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 I met a woman on a dating site and we seem to have a good rapport, so I asked her if she'd like to talk. She gave me her number, but said she only wants to text, which defeats the purpose since we're already texting on the site. Not sure why she wants to do that. With that being said, I'm leery to give her my real number. I can't use my Google voice number anymore either. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Helicon5 said: I met a woman on a dating site and we seem to have a good rapport, so I asked her if she'd like to talk. She gave me her number, but said she only wants to text, which defeats the purpose since we're already texting on the site. Not sure why she wants to do that. With that being said, I'm leery to give her my real number. I can't use my Google voice number anymore either. She only wants to text and you don't want to give her your real number. Clearly neither of you are interested in seeing if there's potential Edited January 15 by basil67 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helicon5 Posted January 15 Author Share Posted January 15 5 minutes ago, basil67 said: She only wants to text and you don't want to give her your real number. Clearly neither of you are interested in seeing if there's potential It isn't that I'm not interested, just cautious, I wouldn't be if she would've just asked me to call. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 1 hour ago, Helicon5 said: It isn't that I'm not interested, just cautious, I wouldn't be if she would've just asked me to call. My comment still stands Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 When you match with someone on a dating site, you set up a casual first date, (yes in person) to see if you have chemistry. Who cares if she is saying she wants to text or call. Either you intend to meet up for a real date, or not. Endless texting and calling is a waste of time. Just ask her if she'd like to meet up soon. If she hesitates then she's wasting your time. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 @ShyViolet is right that setting up a first date is what you need to do next. But safety is also a concern, so if she's got your number she's more likely to have more trust in you Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helicon5 Posted January 15 Author Share Posted January 15 (edited) 12 hours ago, basil67 said: @ShyViolet is right that setting up a first date is what you need to do next. But safety is also a concern, so if she's got your number she's more likely to have more trust in you It works both ways though. How can I trust her if she's not giving me her real number? I did that with the last woman I spoke with. We both agreed to talk, but when I gave her my real number she questioned it's validity and wouldn't call. From there it went downhill. Now my real number is on the site and nothing came off it. Getting past the number exchange seems to be the biggest hurdle. People tend to be overly cautious. Now after that last debacle now I am. It can be impossible to decipher whether or not it's just over cautiousness or if people are playing a game. I had a couple of people tell me they won't meetup with someone who they haven't spoken with first, but trust over giving out numbers on the site can keep that from happening. Edited January 15 by Helicon5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 IMO if a person gets fussy over it then next them. You ain't missing out on anything if you do. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helicon5 Posted January 15 Author Share Posted January 15 4 minutes ago, smackie9 said: IMO if a person gets fussy over it then next them. You ain't missing out on anything if you do. I wish people would just agree to meet at a nice restaurant. I suggested that one time with another woman and she wouldn't do it. I would be like 'bring a gf with you or the national guard if that makes you feel comfortable, I don't care, 😂. We could just exchange numbers when we meet. She still wouldn't do it Quote Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 22 minutes ago, Helicon5 said: I wish people would just agree to meet at a nice restaurant. I suggested that one time with another woman and she wouldn't do it. I would be like 'bring a gf with you or the national guard if that makes you feel comfortable, I don't care, 😂. We could just exchange numbers when we meet. She still wouldn't do it Makes you wonder why these women even bother to use a dating app if they are that paranoid. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 Texting over your regular phones is much more convenient for a lot of folks than doing it over the app. Many people don't like logging onto the app on a regular basis. People giving out their number not so much because they want to talk in person but more that they just want to direct the conversation onto their regular phone texting system is extremely common. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helicon5 Posted January 15 Author Share Posted January 15 (edited) 28 minutes ago, smackie9 said: Makes you wonder why these women even bother to use a dating app if they are that paranoid. Right? lol What's funny is I actually had a phone conversation last night with someone else. She gave me her number and said to text or call, so I called. We spoke for about an hour. She's cool. A very talkative Italian girl from NY. She kinda dodged plans to get together this weekend suggesting this Thursday or next weekend instead. She didn't say why. I'm thinking if she has plans with gf's or family she would've said so, but the fact that didn't leads me to think she probably already made plans with some other dude and doesn't want to have to lie. She was married twice and isn't into being tied down and is very independent. Even though she had a nice home, loves to cook and owns her own business I'm not sure if I want to be bothered if she has to fit me into her schedule. She also said she goes Dutch on dates. Not sure if that's a good thing or bad Edited January 15 by Helicon5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 I consider people who are overly careful about sharing their real name to be far more of a red flag then people who just want to text. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helicon5 Posted January 15 Author Share Posted January 15 2 minutes ago, Sony12 said: Texting over your regular phones is much more convenient for a lot of folks than doing it over the app. Many people don't like logging onto the app on a regular basis. People giving out their number not so much because they want to talk in person but more that they just want to direct the conversation onto their regular phone texting system is extremely common. I think it's more about people being paranoid than bring inconvenienced logging in. That can be done easily. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 8 minutes ago, Helicon5 said: I think it's more about people being paranoid than bring inconvenienced logging in. That can be done easily. If you are that paranoid then online dating probably isn't a good avenue for you to meet people. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helicon5 Posted January 15 Author Share Posted January 15 (edited) 13 minutes ago, Sony12 said: If you are that paranoid then online dating probably isn't a good avenue for you to meet people. It's about using common sense and not just blindly forking over all your info. Throwing all caution to the wind is exactly why people get scammed and why sites advise against it. I just spoke with someone last night, but I felt comfortable calling because she didn't give me the slightest impression things weren't on the up and up. They've been more concerned than I have, actually. Edited January 15 by Helicon5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 9 minutes ago, Helicon5 said: It's about using common sense and not just blindly forking over all your info. Throwing all caution to the wind is exactly why people get scammed and why sites advise against it. I just spoke with someone last night, but I felt comfortable calling because she didn't give me the slightest impression things weren't on the up and up. They've been more concerned than I have, actually. Scammers aren't going to get you just by knowing what your first name is. People need to be smart but at the same time not paranoid. If you are paranoid to the point you refuse to give out your first name than find a different avenue to meet others. If we were talking about giving out your last name I would understand. But just a first name isn't that big of a deal. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Helicon5 Posted January 15 Author Share Posted January 15 (edited) 18 minutes ago, Sony12 said: Scammers aren't going to get you just by knowing what your first name is. People need to be smart but at the same time not paranoid. If you are paranoid to the point you refuse to give out your first name than find a different avenue to meet others. If we were talking about giving out your last name I would understand. But just a first name isn't that big of a deal. We already have first names. First names are never an issue. Nothing can be extrapolated from a first name. If you've been reading (which obviously you haven't) it's about exchanging phone numbers, which is one of the things scammers are after. There's a difference between being paranoid and being cautious. Edited January 15 by Helicon5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 12 minutes ago, Helicon5 said: We already have first names. First names are never an issue. Nothing can be extrapolated from a first name. If you've been reading (which obviously you haven't) it's about exchanging phone numbers, which is one of the things scammers are after. There's a difference between being paranoid and being cautious. Regardless you aren't going to get anywhere with people if you don't like taking communication off the app. Most people highly prefer talking over their regular text systems than they do over the apps. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 2 hours ago, Helicon5 said: Right? lol What's funny is I actually had a phone conversation last night with someone else. She gave me her number and said to text or call, so I called. We spoke for about an hour. She's cool. A very talkative Italian girl from NY. She kinda dodged plans to get together this weekend suggesting this Thursday or next weekend instead. She didn't say why. I'm thinking if she has plans with gf's or family she would've said so, but the fact that didn't leads me to think she probably already made plans with some other dude and doesn't want to have to lie. She was married twice and isn't into being tied down and is very independent. Even though she had a nice home, loves to cook and owns her own business I'm not sure if I want to be bothered if she has to fit me into her schedule. She also said she goes Dutch on dates. Not sure if that's a good thing or bad Yes but how do you think of her so far as to the less availability to date? I would suspect her priority wouldn't be with you or any guy. She has a full fantastic life...have to think, how would you yourself fit into that? As for going dutch, that's an independent woman for sure. Sound like she's always in charge, takes the lead. Might be a handful LOL. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 i think this is misplaced, you're concerned she doesn't want to "call" but maybe she doesn't like talking on the phone. i'm a guy, but i hate talking on the phone. i would avoid talking on the phone to strangers and push for text or email if possible. she may just want you to text because it is more compatible with her life, and it isn't some way to trick you or scam you. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 3 hours ago, Helicon5 said: Right? lol What's funny is I actually had a phone conversation last night with someone else. She gave me her number and said to text or call, so I called. We spoke for about an hour. She's cool. A very talkative Italian girl from NY. She kinda dodged plans to get together this weekend suggesting this Thursday or next weekend instead. She didn't say why. I'm thinking if she has plans with gf's or family she would've said so, but the fact that didn't leads me to think she probably already made plans with some other dude and doesn't want to have to lie. She was married twice and isn't into being tied down and is very independent. Even though she had a nice home, loves to cook and owns her own business I'm not sure if I want to be bothered if she has to fit me into her schedule. She also said she goes Dutch on dates. Not sure if that's a good thing or bad Why is this funny? Or relevant to the topic? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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