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Lost like a ship at sea...


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I've had my profile on Match.com for a long time. I put my information on, but changed my hometown to the one next door to me. I never put a picture on it. I've never even contacted anyone. Just did it for kicks.

 

Last week, I received an e-mail from Match.com of my Matches. Lisa, the girl I've been seeing for a little over a month, was one of them. I didn't expect it and I clicked on her picture without even thinking, then clicked out of it out of respect.

I think she can tell I viewed it or at least suspects I did, as my name or pic doesn't appear, just my B-day and biographical info. I never mentioned it. The next day, she asked what I had in mind for the weekend with her. I replied in a joking way she might have been offended by. I gave her a list of ideas and asked for her if she had a preference: 1-Play naked twister...Nah..Someone could get hurt then we'd have some explaining to do! 2-Dinner and Live Band 3- Night Skiing 4-Dinner and Comedy Club. She aslo asked what my B-day was. Then, I never heard from her again. Don't know if she was turned off by the joke or thinks I invaded her privacy by clicking on her pic. I apologized for the jokes if she took them the wrong way. Don;t want to wait too long. I would think that due to having a Mutual Friend, she would want to remain friends and not blow me off, which is why I think she's really pissed. Should I have our friend intervene or e-mail her telling her exactly what happened? What to do......?

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One thing out internet dating is the dogma about meeting people online. The stereotype is that people who use internet dating services to meet someone must have 'issues.' In most cases, people expect you to be on your best behavior. One strike and you're out. That's why you see the same profiles on there over and over again.

 

Do yourself a favor and don't take it personal. Do you really want to be with someone who's so immature? Blow it off, there are others. You just have to keep looking.

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ReluctantRomeo
Should I have our friend intervene or e-mail her telling her exactly what happened? What to do......?

 

Be a man, not a mouse. She's on match.com too, for crying out loud. You should do now what should have been done in the first place: say "you know, a funny thing happened the other day", tell the story and see how she reacts and explains her presence there.

 

Don't assume you know what she's thinking - she could have been sick or something else completely unrelated. And keep it light - don't make the issue bigger than it needs to be.

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Be a man, not a mouse. She's on match.com too, for crying out loud. You should do now what should have been done in the first place: say "you know, a funny thing happened the other day", tell the story and see how she reacts and explains her presence there.

 

Don't assume you know what she's thinking - she could have been sick or something else completely unrelated. And keep it light - don't make the issue bigger than it needs to be.

 

very good advice :)

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OK...I finally got a reply to from her this morning:

 

Hi Joe! Thanks for the phone calls..........Feeling much better! How are you?

 

 

So I E-mailed her back this afternoon:

 

Hi Lisa!

Glad you're feeling better! Just got in-Worked for a friend today. How's your day going?

Missed not seeing you last week. Wound up having to go to a wake anyway.

How's Tazzo for dinner or a Post-New Years drink Thursday or Friday night sound?

 

Now no reply from her. Usually she replies back within 5 minutes or at least says She's busy and she'll get back to me.

 

Is she just being nice and letting me down easy by returning my call or what?

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Just very mad at myself. I screwed up what was a becoming a good relationship by mentioning a sexual joke to early on in the relationship. Now I feel like there's no way to repair it. Feel like whatever I say makes it worse. Should I left out asking her out for this week and just played it cool? Or should I have our Mutual Friend intervene? What I said was totally out of character for me and normally wouldn't have said something like that, but I was under alot of stress that day. Had 2 wakes to go to, a court case to deal with, on top of wanting to go out. Guess I was trying to make myself laugh and it carried over into my e-mail to her. I really want a relationship with her and purposely took it slow with her. How do I let her know that I don't just want to get in her pants?

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ReluctantRomeo
Just very mad at myself. I screwed up what was a becoming a good relationship by mentioning a sexual joke to early on in the relationship. Now I feel like there's no way to repair it. Feel like whatever I say makes it worse.

 

You're being ridiculous. If she's interested in you, she'll get past this. And if she's the kind that just goes on and on even when you apologise, then she will never have a good relationship.

 

If you have apologised sincerely and clearly, leave it at that. Don't mention it again. Let your actions do the talking - avoid crude jokes in future.

 

 

How do I let her know that I don't just want to get in her pants?

 

Girls like to be desired. Don't emasculate yourself. The real question in your case should be "the way I'm behaving, will she ever believe I've got what it takes to get in her pants?".

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