Martinanswer Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 Hello everyone, I’m currently going through a situation I’ve never experienced before. I’m a flight attendant for an international airline, and about three months ago, during a training session, I met a colleague who immediately caught my attention. After about two months, by some coincidence, we ended up on the same layover in Asia. We started talking, had a few drinks, and ended up in bed together. Since then, we’ve been seeing each other more often, and we’ve even swapped schedules with other colleagues a few times so we could share more layovers. We’ve had deep conversations about our pasts, futures, and life in general, and I feel like we’re on the same wavelength. During these trips, we even started sleeping in the same bed (non-sexually) despite having separate rooms. Recently, we both arranged to book for a skiing trip in the Alps, where I planned to tell her how much I like her and see if she wanted to take this further. But I panicked and didn’t do it. The trip overall went amazing and we had so much fun. The same thing happened again recently on her birthday. I bought her flowers and some sweets, and she invited me to her place. She loved the bouquet, and we spent the evening watching a movie, cuddling, and eventually sleeping over until morning. Again, I couldn’t bring myself to express how I feel. Now, she’s gone on a worktrip, and I won’t see her for another 2–3 weeks. I’m really beating myself up for not taking the chance to tell her. I know I’m taking things slow, but I’m scared this might land me in the friendzone, even though there are signs she likes me too. She tells me she really cares about me, that I’m intelligent, she touches me often, introduces me to her friends, her family knows about me, and she wants to plan more trips together. I feel like she’s waiting for me to say something. Honestly, I see her as a 10/10, not just in terms of looks but also her intellect and personality. I’m just confused and afraid to share my feelings because of the fear of being friendzoned. What do you think? How should I approach this? Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 You've slept in the same bed on multiple trips and neither of you has initiated a move toward a more physical relationship? Have you kissed? This seems unusual to me. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 IMO once you sleep together you are no longer "friends". I would NOT express feelings at this time, but you can express to be more exclusive. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 6 hours ago, Martinanswer said: During these trips, we even started sleeping in the same bed (non-sexually) despite having separate rooms. This is unclear. Has it always been platonic and non-sexual, when you've ended up in bed together? Or has there been any physical contact? Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted January 17 Share Posted January 17 Did you guys have sex or not? Have you two ever kissed? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Martinanswer Posted January 19 Author Share Posted January 19 Sorry, i didnt make it clear, we had sex twice and kissed many times on many occasions. Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 3 hours ago, Martinanswer said: Sorry, i didnt make it clear, we had sex twice and kissed many times on many occasions. Then why would you be afraid to get into the friendzone? Friendzone is for people to whom the woman isn’t attracted to. She is obviously attracted to you. Otherwise, why would she have sex with you? I think she knows how you feel, but if you want to express your feelings to her, do so! It’s never a bad thing. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 8 hours ago, Gebidozo said: Then why would you be afraid to get into the friendzone? Friendzone is for people to whom the woman isn’t attracted to. She is obviously attracted to you. Otherwise, why would she have sex with you? Indeed. Perhaps you're scared of finding out that she sees you as a casual sex partner 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted January 20 Share Posted January 20 Dude, you're already deep into "uncomfortable" non-friendship territory just by the nature of having had sex with her. Don't worry about her thinking. Express your feelings and state what YOU want with her. Otherwise, you are hiding and faking and not really a friend. Telling her you want more isn't nearly as awkward as you think. Just f-ing tell her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Interstellar Posted January 20 Share Posted January 20 (edited) You’re not taking it slow brother. After two months you’re cuddling in bed, then giving her gifts, flowers etc..etc…. That’s not taking it slow man, haha. Cary Grant, the smoothest guy on the planet would ask: “Are you trying to snow me here man?” You have nothing to confess, she knows you like her. She’s been dating since she’s very young, she knows you like her. Don’t worry about “expressing your feelings” with her. What I would do is slowly withdraw. Just slowly cut the time you’re spending with her, you want to do this very slowly. Then you disappear. Also, when she touches you, don’t reciprocate. Let her continue touching you. Meanwhile, keep things light, fun and positive and don’t talk about your insecurities, put down or anything negative. Let her bring up taking the relationship to the next level. Keep your mouth shut about your feelings. Edited January 20 by Interstellar 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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