Sher8090 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 (edited) On the first date I just did 2 hours to arrive to the place of the date, arrived a little earlier so went to the bathroom after going out he was there already waiting for me the conversation was good, we shared food etc but after 1.5 hours he said it was getting late as he had a flight the next day and for me to not come back so late he ask the waitress for the bill, at that moment I haven’t finished my drink though and then he pay and just rushed to exit the restaurant, he just say bye and I just returned to my car i feel really sad because of the effort that I did to see him, I didn’t finished my drink nor food and he just put end to all…. I send him a text just right after to thank him for the dinner but also telling him I felt uncomfortable because he was rushing at the end he didn’t answer,… I am overreacting …? Should I apologize or just leave it like that…. Edited January 19 by Sher8090 Orthography Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 19 Share Posted January 19 His behaviour was beyond rude. I would block and delete someone with such appalling manners Do not apologise 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted January 20 Share Posted January 20 (edited) My guess would be that he didn't feel a chemistry and wanted to end the date. He could've handled this a lot better and showed a little more considerations for you. At times, this is what you get as we live in a disposable world with fast cars. fast-food, fast dates, etc. Some people, such as your guy, can't get out of there fast enough if they don't feel a connection. They don't treat the other person with a care and compassion if they don't feel a chemistry. They don't comprehend that the other person also has feelings that can be hurt. It is what it is. I had one guy tell me that he is only nice to women that he finds attractive. I am guessing that he sees all other women, who he doesn't find attractive, as non-human and don't believe that they have to be treated with a basic human decency. I suggest that you go for a low-key coffee dates for your first meet instead of meeting for a dinner. Coffee dates are low pressure with little expectations for both parties involved. You don't usually stay longer that 20-30 minutes and pretend to have a good time if you don't feel it. I agree with basil. Block him and don't apologize as you have done nothing wrong. Edited January 20 by Alvi 2 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 20 Share Posted January 20 I agree stick with a coffee date for a first date. keep it light and simple...45 mins max. If you need to get out of there at least you can take your coffee with you. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Georgia46 Posted January 20 Share Posted January 20 Put it down to a lesson learned. When someone shows you who they are believe them. he’s got no manners, he’s a dipstick. don’t travel so far next time. And good luck 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted January 20 Share Posted January 20 Yeah he definitely could have handled it better but it sounds like he wasn't feeling it and was looking for a way to exit. The biggest disappointment is that you spent two hours to get there. Did he have to travel equally as far? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted January 20 Share Posted January 20 What would be the point of apologizing? No. He probably ended the date quickly because he decided he wasn't that into you and wanted to leave. Don't text him again, just forget him. WHY were you traveling two hours for a date? It's best to date people more local to you. Don't set yourself up for such inconvenience and effort. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted January 21 Share Posted January 21 Definitely don't apologise. He was rude and inconsiderate. It's best to forget this one and move on, no good will come from dwelling on it. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
FredEire Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 On 1/20/2025 at 4:40 AM, Alvi said: My guess would be that he didn't feel a chemistry and wanted to end the date. He could've handled this a lot better and showed a little more considerations for you. At times, this is what you get as we live in a disposable world with fast cars. fast-food, fast dates, etc. Some people, such as your guy, can't get out of there fast enough if they don't feel a connection. They don't treat the other person with a care and compassion if they don't feel a chemistry. They don't comprehend that the other person also has feelings that can be hurt. It is what it is. I had one guy tell me that he is only nice to women that he finds attractive. I am guessing that he sees all other women, who he doesn't find attractive, as non-human and don't believe that they have to be treated with a basic human decency. I suggest that you go for a low-key coffee dates for your first meet instead of meeting for a dinner. Coffee dates are low pressure with little expectations for both parties involved. You don't usually stay longer that 20-30 minutes and pretend to have a good time if you don't feel it. I agree with basil. Block him and don't apologize as you have done nothing wrong. Yeah disposable fast-food lifestyle has normalised treating others like rubbish. Loads of people have told me if they find someone they are dating becomes boring they will just ghost them and I always call them out on it. It's not nice to experience but that was what was going on here. Try not to take it personally as it's how a lot of people act these days. I've never seen the problem of having a nice time and a chat with a date even if you don't feel an attraction, but everyone has their own way of approaching it. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted January 25 Share Posted January 25 On 1/20/2025 at 1:27 AM, Sher8090 said: On the first date I just did 2 hours to arrive to the place of the date, arrived a little earlier so went to the bathroom after going out he was there already waiting for me the conversation was good, we shared food etc but after 1.5 hours he said it was getting late as he had a flight the next day and for me to not come back so late he ask the waitress for the bill, at that moment I haven’t finished my drink though and then he pay and just rushed to exit the restaurant, he just say bye and I just returned to my car i feel really sad because of the effort that I did to see him, I didn’t finished my drink nor food and he just put end to all…. I send him a text just right after to thank him for the dinner but also telling him I felt uncomfortable because he was rushing at the end he didn’t answer,… I am overreacting …? Should I apologize or just leave it like that…. Sorry for the lousy experience, Sher8090. If it's any consolation, most of us have experienced something similarly rude while dating. So don't blame yourself for what happened and definitely do not apologize. If something of this sort happens to you again, just let the guy run off into the night. You take your time finishing up your food and drink and enjoying the ambience of the restaurant, and then leave when you're done. If the other person is going to bail out on you in the middle of a date, then try to find some way to enjoy the experience anyway. This has been my general attitude when dealing with people, and it has always softened the blow. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sher8090 Posted January 26 Author Share Posted January 26 On 1/19/2025 at 9:40 PM, Alvi said: My guess would be that he didn't feel a chemistry and wanted to end the date. He could've handled this a lot better and showed a little more considerations for you. At times, this is what you get as we live in a disposable world with fast cars. fast-food, fast dates, etc. Some people, such as your guy, can't get out of there fast enough if they don't feel a connection. They don't treat the other person with a care and compassion if they don't feel a chemistry. They don't comprehend that the other person also has feelings that can be hurt. It is what it is. I had one guy tell me that he is only nice to women that he finds attractive. I am guessing that he sees all other women, who he doesn't find attractive, as non-human and don't believe that they have to be treated with a basic human decency. I suggest that you go for a low-key coffee dates for your first meet instead of meeting for a dinner. Coffee dates are low pressure with little expectations for both parties involved. You don't usually stay longer that 20-30 minutes and pretend to have a good time if you don't feel it. I agree with basil. Block him and don't apologize as you have done nothing wrong. I delete him already, sadly you are right we live in a disposable world…. 😪 From now on I will try coffee dates thank you all for your comments somehow I felt supported 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.