Muadib007 Posted January 22 Share Posted January 22 I'm gay. I've dated this guy about 2 years ago, it started without trouble and without drama, but i was not ready. For a whole year we dated on and off, 3 times on and off. I was the problem he really wanted. At the last time he broke up with me because I said something about a future open relationship (I was stupid I don't think I really want an open relationship, I believe in monogamy at least for many years and a geniunine joint future together). I cried when he broke up with me but I felt I don't want to hurt him anymore so I left him and it as it is. I kind of forgot about this for a year and half. I am experiencing an addiction to sex and it took over me again. Than not long ago I met him at a party, he was in a relationship, and I realized I made a mistake. He is hot and smart, but more importantly he is kind and good hearted and knows how to love. I cried a lot since than, and prayed for a second chance (and also that he will be happy if its not meant to be). At this point I deleted all dating and sex apps for myself. A few months had passed and again we met at a party. This time he made this sign to me from a far, and later we talked. He said they broke up, so I obviously sent hands to him and we spent the party together. The catch is during this party he suddenly changed his version and than said its complicated and that he (my love interest) pays for the rent by himself since his partner doesn't work and they are in an open relationship (yes yes the reason he broke up with me). We kept talking, I pressed for a date and we had a date and sex. It was good. This was maybe a mistake since they were still together (though in an open relationship). In any case a week had passed and they broke up officially, though still living together with my love interest paying the rent for his ex living with him. We spent another party together, mainly my initiative - he doesn't initiate though he is responsive. Than I asked to meet him again, and he said "he is in a hard situation" and than added "but this is not an invitation for disconnection between us and I don't know I hope you understand". I said I understood, I don't. Another week had passed. I don't know what to do. He didn't write once to me on his own genuine initiative. He did say things like he notice I've changed and we both shared emotional stuff about our year together. I'm not sure what to do. Should I try to "win him over" knowing I am the initiator at this point? Should I leave him be and wait for him to come to me? Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 Sounds more like he is cheating on his partner than that they have an open relationship or have broken up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Muadib007 Posted January 23 Author Share Posted January 23 (edited) 2 hours ago, introverted1 said: Sounds more like he is cheating on his partner than that they have an open relationship or have broken up. He told me they broke up officially and that now they live in separate rooms in the house he (my love interest) pays rent for all the house... I don't see a reason for him to lie. If he wanted to sleep with me again than maybe, but as I've said he told me confusing stuff and it seems he was genuine. He indeed told me that he is in a crazy situation (living with the ex and paying for the rent). In one of our massages he told me he needs to work things out and if it's meant to be between us it will happen. But he doesn't initiate anything, so I don't know what to do. Edited January 23 by Muadib007 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted January 23 Share Posted January 23 (edited) Sounds messy at best. I don't see this ending well. Even if he is being honest about the trajectory of his current relationship, he's not likely to rebound into a lasting relationship with you. ETA: his lack of initiative should be telling you something. Edited January 23 by introverted1 Link to post Share on other sites
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