Pot??Shrooms??CoughMedicine??

[AliceAyers]

I don't know much about drugs because I've never been around anyone who did them regularly, but in the past year my husband has admitted that he likes smoking pot. The only reason that he ended up admitting this to me, mind you, is that I kept finding it around the house.

Now I find web pages left open about psychedelics on the computer, and I think that it's something that he's getting interested in. A couple of nights ago, I found 3 empty sheets of Coricidin in the trash, which I looked up on the computer and found out that it can be used as a cheap drug.

Has anyone experienced this, or do you think that it's something that he'll grow out of?

I'm pretty straight and narrow on my views of drugs, and I really don't want anyone in my house using them, but he's my husband. And I love him.

I need some advice.

[Tangerina]

That is a tough one... my BF has done all of those things that you mentioned and more... and I am not crazy about it but it was before we met when he was kind of a "depressed teenager," not to be too cliche... he still does them from time to time, but hasn't really since we have been together.... for example he still has 1 pill of DXM (the stuff in cough syrup) left over from long ago and he can't decide if he should throw it away or sell it.... he want to try LSD once in his life, etc... so he is still interested in doing these things,but it isn't a lifestyle... I know he has tried opium and e a few times, coke once, and shrooms semi-regularily.... pot, on the other hand, he smokes fairly regularily.... I smoke it too rarely but only with him or other friends and I drink some and I think sometime in my life I want to do shrooms, but that is it for me with the drugs..... just shared all of that to show where I am coming from.... I am not happy that my BF does that hard stuff on occasion, but basically what my attitude about it is that as long as it doesn't affect our relationship or affect him in a way that affects our relationship, then it isn't really my business... I have, however, talked to him about it using an analogy that he understood very well... I told him "you know how you get worried when I go into the city alone and you don't like it, but you wouldn't tell me not to do it because you know there is only a slim chance of something happening to me and you would rather have me live my own life than try to protect me from every little thing? That is how I feel about you using drugs occasionally... it really worries me that you could get hurt but I also know you have to make your own decisions so I am going to let you. However, if it starts affecting our relationship or if you do start getting hurt, then it is my business....." He is a good guy who respects me and respects himself and is ambitious and is doing well for himself in life so I don't worry if he wants to do this stuff rarely.... I think you have to assess what your husband is like and how it is affecting him and discuss with him what you can and can't live with him doing... find out honestly what he is doing and why and just have a discussion about it and try to come to some sort of agreement like only once a month or never at the house, or if you just can't live with it then tell him that..... Also, is he just experimenting on occasion or is he addicted or obsessed? There is a really big difference, though also a fine line between the two...... that is an important thing to seek out, because if he is addicted then he needs help.... my personal philosophy is to stay away from that stuff altogether to avoid the many possible problems, but I do know people who use drugs responsibly so if I were you that is the first thing I would figure out..... I think I kinda rambled at the end there.....

[AliceAyers]

I know my husband is a great person. We've known each other since we were 15 years old. And I know that the reason he wants to do these things is for some sort of escape from reality.

The world is a hard place. We are 25 years old, and have been married for 4 years and have 2 kids. That's hard. But I don't turn to drugs for a release so it's hard for me to understand why he wants to.

I just have to think of our kids here. And the long term affect that it could have on them if this is something that he wants to continue doing regularly.

He's tried to explain to me that pot is safer than alchohol but it's really hard to believe that when it's illegal. There has to be a reason for it to be illegal.

[Tangerina]

Actually, from all the evidence I have, pot is a lot safer than alcohol.... the reasons that it is illegal have much more to do with social/political factors than saftey(at the very bottom of this article is info about why it was outlawed http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marijuana)... I mean, have you ever heard of violent abusive potheads? compare to alcoholics in a rage.... Also, it is virtually impossible to take a lethal dose of marijuana, but people drink themsleves to death every day.... geez, I sound like some pro-weed activist, I don't even really like the stuff that much and I think people use it way too much, but I do think it is less harmful than alcohol to individals and society and it is sad how many people are in jail for it.... but I digress... I am not saying pot is good, smoking anything is not good for your body and if you do it too much it can have nasty longterm effects.... but in my opinion someone who smokes up once a day is the same as coming home from work and having a beer or two throughout the evening.... however... if he is using it to escape from reality or he is doing it constantly then it is a porblem no matter what it is, pot, beer, eating, sleeping, etc..... Talk to him about how it makes you feel and ask him why he is doing it.... try to come to an understanding, and make sure he keeps it away from the kids!!!!

[safe]

I don't know much about drugs because I've never been around anyone who did them regularly, but in the past year my husband has admitted that he likes smoking pot. The only reason that he ended up admitting this to me, mind you, is that I kept finding it around the house.

Now I find web pages left open about psychedelics on the computer, and I think that it's something that he's getting interested in. A couple of nights ago, I found 3 empty sheets of Coricidin in the trash, which I looked up on the computer and found out that it can be used as a cheap drug.

Has anyone experienced this, or do you think that it's something that he'll grow out of?

I'm pretty straight and narrow on my views of drugs, and I really don't want anyone in my house using them, but he's my husband. And I love him.

I need some advice.

i'm 21 used to b big in2 drugs mainly pot n mushrooms and i can tell u from personal experence it will **** ur head up!! i started smaoking pot at 14 n speed at 15 ur prob thinkin dury **** up but i wasnt at all i managed to get good GCSEs n my life was good up untill i started smoking it every day and doing mushrooms alot! basicly i ended up locking myself in my bedroom 4 a week wishing i was dead basicly ****ed my head up! this was due to drugs an you shudnt do them easy as that!

[AliceAyers]

So, should I confront him about what I found or should I let it be:?

[lilmoma1973]

 

Make up a story telling him about your friend and their bf and his using drugs and how you would feel if in the same situation and see what his reaction is.. Tell him how you wouldn't like it and ask him waht he thought if the shoe was on the other foot!!!

[almostthere]

Well...Ill admit first off....I am totally against drug use...especially if there are children involved. And I dont mean to sound rude at all...I am just trying to understand your situation....how did you not know til now? Is smoking pot something he just confessed and has been hiding this from you for 10 years?

 

Personally...I would tell him he needs to grow up. Just my opinion. But coming from a loving wife...I might express my concerns in a more functional way. And also bring up the point that if the kids know (and they will find out) how would he feel about catching them doing it? Is it ok for him and not the kids? Or would he not care if the kids did it because he doesnt view it as wrong?

 

I have way too much to say on this subject. I'll stop there.

[Ladywithafan]

...will tell you that they would never tolerate their kids doing what they're doing. That type of reasoning, "how would you feel if your kids were doing what you're doing" doesn't work. It may make the addict even more guilty feeling & cause more drug abuse...addiction to drugs is a vicious cycle.

 

All addicts use to escape reality. There is a difference between using and abusing but it can move from using to addiction real fast. And the true addict can not go back from abusing to using that easy. That's why substance abuse is called a disease. It's a nagging compulsion, every minute of the day to figure out how to escape.

 

I've done 'shrooms...it was fun but it wasn't that fun, not something I'd continue. I've smoked crack. Fun for about three months...then it becomes a nightmare. A totally mental addicting drug. You won't die if you don't smoke crack. Never did heroin, never did anything with a needle. Tried LSD a few times, fun but it's too long a time to be in a different place. Don't like weed, similar to 'shrooms and I just eat constantly. Not really a person who likes to change their reality through chemicals. I'd rather go on vacation or shopping. Not an addictive personality.

[lilmoma1973]

So, should I confront him about what I found or should I let it be:?

 

 

Comfront him if you don't like this behavior of him using drugs and what you have found.. That is the only way you will ever know whether he is or isn't

[AliceAyers]

At this point I know that our kids are too young to understand. They are 4 and 7 months. But if this lifestyle is something that he wants to continue then I know that our kids will eventually find out.

But there is part of me that is merely sympathetic. He's 25. He's married. And he's had to give up a lot of goals and dreams to take care of his family.

And I feel for him, in the respect. Because there were a lot of things that I gave up too. So I could see how he would want to esape the reality of things for a little while, but the bottom line is that he made his choice to have this life. And when I married him, I had no idea that drugs were a part of his life.

I don't know that we would have gotten married had I known. But this man is the love of my life, and I will do anything to keep it that way.

I just want to understand more, and I want to know if what he's doing is really a problem, or recreation.

It's a touchy subject to bring up, because when he finally told me that he had been smoking pot, it almost cost us our marriage.

Not that I am so close minded and judgemental that I think all pot smokers are bad, but it was the fact that he was able to hide something so significant for such a long time.

Does that make sense?

[lobsterbabe]

you know alice, i'm in a similar situation.

 

my bf smokes pot all the time (and i mean like, every hour). he says he does it to relieve stress.

 

at first, i was adamant about him quitting or decrease his habit a tad bit. we had quite a few fights about it. he says smoking pot is safer than drinking alcohol. and it's been legalized in some states/countries.. etc...

 

but you know what? i cannot change him. he's been doing it for many, many years (20+ years)... he did admit this to me early on in our relationship. it bothered me at one point, but i realized there's not much i can do... unless he himself wants to change, i cannot change him..

 

he's not a typical pothead. in actuality, he's a very successful, ambitious man. to come from nothing (and i mean dirt poor) to have pretty much everything... and he gets really active and sociable, in contrast to those who just want to sit in a corner or something.

 

and most importantly, it doesn't affect our relationship...

 

i guess he is addicted to it (i already witnessed his withdrawal symptoms -- moody/depressed, etc.) but not in a sense that it is negatively affecting my relationship with him.... and it does not affect his work as well....

 

i guess what i'm trying to say is, ask yourself whether his using drugs affect your marriage, if it is negatively ruining his job, if he is acting different around your kids, etc... you have to find out.

 

if it does, then i strongly suggest you do some intervention.

 

if not, then i wouldn't worry too much.

 

i hope that helps.

[morphius]

I don't know much about drugs because I've never been around anyone who did them regularly, but in the past year my husband has admitted that he likes smoking pot. The only reason that he ended up admitting this to me, mind you, is that I kept finding it around the house.

Now I find web pages left open about psychedelics on the computer, and I think that it's something that he's getting interested in. A couple of nights ago, I found 3 empty sheets of Coricidin in the trash, which I looked up on the computer and found out that it can be used as a cheap drug.

Has anyone experienced this, or do you think that it's something that he'll grow out of?

I'm pretty straight and narrow on my views of drugs, and I really don't want anyone in my house using them, but he's my husband. And I love him.

I need some advice.

 

 

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