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I have asbergers and I don't know how to talk to women


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Yesterday I (22) went out on a hinge date that ended in her saying she Just wanted to be friends. In the evening I went drinking with my friends and was chatting for ages to a different, girl we hit it off really well and when the bar closed she asked if I wanted to come come to a techno gig with her, I said no and then she asked for my number and said she would call me.

I would love to pursue this further but the trouble is I know what will happen if we go on a one on one date. I have asbergers and it gives me lots of trouble socialising do that I basically never socialise one on one and rely on a group of people to bounce around and fill conversation when I can't think of anything to say.

I've been on enough awkward dated with people who I get on well with in group settings and seen the joy die in their eyes when I try to make conversation. 

So now I'm afraid to be alone with any woman especially one I like because of the awkwardness.

Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated, thanks.

 

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ShyViolet

Well you're not going to get good at something if you never practice.  Stop relying so heavily on being in a group setting.  Practice socializing with people one on one.  You need to get used to it.  Socialize with friends one on one, don't only do it for dates.

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Usually people who are perpetually single reject the people who are interested in them.

This girl invited you out and asked for your number, she's obviously interested in you. You should've said yes to going out with her. Text her and ask her out. If it doesn't work out with her,  it doesn't work out. It's really not a big deal. 

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If you were chatting to her for ages, then it sounds like you've already established a connection of sorts.  You're already way ahead of meeting a stranger from the internet

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Miss Chrysalis
10 hours ago, basil67 said:

If you were chatting to her for ages, then it sounds like you've already established a connection of sorts.  You're already way ahead of meeting a stranger from the internet

Yes! And, who knows, maybe she's also neurodivergent!

What were you talking about? Do you share an interest/hobby?

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