giddyup99 Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 (edited) So, there's this woman at work I started chatting with back in October. At first, things were pretty casual - we'd shoot the breeze daily and have good conversations. But then we realized we had a thing for each other, and things got a bit more serious. We went on a few dates, and it felt like we were really hitting it off. But then, out of the blue, she pulled back. She wasn't messaging as much, and it felt like our connection was fading. The weird thing is, it wasn't a gradual thing. One minute she's pouring her heart out, and the next, she's distant. Now, I'm usually the one reaching out. It's strange because in person, she's a mixed bag. Sometimes she ignores me, and other times she goes out of her way to compliment me. I've caught her looking at me with the same warmth in her eyes as before. She even hinted that her day was worse because I was swamped and we couldn't chat as much. But when I try to chat later or on the weekend, she's not interested. Sometimes, though, she'll respond to my messages super fast and enthusiastically. It's clear she's not as invested as she was. She used to message all the time, and now it's radio silence unless I reach out. I get that relationships can cool down, but this was like flipping a switch right when things were going great. This whole hot-and-cold thing is confusing and honestly kind of frustrating. Edited January 27 by giddyup99 Link to post Share on other sites
Georgia46 Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 It started in October… it’s now the end of January. my advice is to leave hot and cold people well alone, before you become emotionally involved with them and get hurt when they leave. leave people like that well alone.. and find someone who would never do that to you from the getgo! 😎😎 ghosters, game players, hot and cold gutless people … no thanks make that your new motto for 2025!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 She's probably met someone and spends more time on him now. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 (edited) Any psychologist will tell you to avoid hot/cold type people. Most are sufferers of anxiety/insecurity. They come on bold and hot, then insecurity, self doubt kicks in, and they recede being tangled up in their anxiety. There's no fixing that. Edited January 27 by smackie9 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 Are you still dating? Or has she pulled back so that you're workmates who sometimes chat? Link to post Share on other sites
Interstellar Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 (edited) There’s probably a boyfriend in the background. They can never be alone guys, there’s always someone in the background lol. All you have to do is laugh at them (in private) and don’t take them personally. And always protect your heart, that’s really all you can do. Edited January 27 by Interstellar Link to post Share on other sites
SurfCity Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 Probably need to describe what happened on the dates. Is it possible that she thought of these dates as friends/co-workers meeting up while you thought of them as dates and once she realized that you thought that they were dates she backed off? It's possible that a co-worker talked to her and she realized that she didn't want to deal with the rumor mill at work. Or if you've dated someone at work before she may have heard about it and decided to reconsider dating you. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 You said you both realized that you had a thing for each other, and you've been on several dates. Is there any reason why you can't just talk to her and ask what is going on? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BreakOnThrough Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 Date other women, when she realizes there is competition, she'll come back around hard. Personally, I wouldn't even bother with someone at work, too much downside. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 Who knows the reason behind this.... we would only be guessing. But at a certain point you have to decide that you're not going to stick around and waste your time on this. I would lose patience for this real fast. Link to post Share on other sites
The_CROW Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 You've been on a few dates. From what I can tell, nothing physical has happened. Invite her over to your place. You're cooking dinner. If she comes over, she wants you. If she says anything but yes, she doesn't want you but only wants your attention and you have to stop giving it to her. You're welcome. Link to post Share on other sites
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