wuves Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 (edited) So I am a resident in New York and I met this girl through badminton training where she messaged me first. We trained together but we never talked. Originally I was just a regular attendee of this training group class, however after some time and after some coaches saw me play, they decided to partner with her for mixed doubles. She messaged me first oh instagram and we slowly started to talk. back ground info: she is in grade nine and I am in grade ten born in December so it isn’t a big difference in age. She has strict parents so it’s hard for her to ever see me. We live about a 1.25 hour drive from each other however she comes to the same page badminton where I go to so it takes her like at least an hour to get there. My friend liked her sister so it was kinda like a two man mission. So we both started talking to them. We only see each other once a week through that training. after this, we only met up twice where I had to make the commitment to go all the way to a far rural place to go hangout with her for like an hour. In no way this is her fault because she had strict parents. She is extremely introverted so whenever I try to talk to her when I’m playing badminton with or beside her, she never establishes eye contact when we speak. we have been in a talking stage, said I love you to each other, I’ve gave her hints that I wanted to move onto to a next stage for a months ago, note we started talking five months ago. We text like we date but when I implied I wanted to do something more(not technically formally asking) she told me she still needed time to like think and like yeah because she has been broken by her ex multiple times. Two weeks ago, from like fourty consistent responses a day, it had been down to ten, sometimes dry responses, and she did say that her feelings aren’t as strong anymore. (Note at this point my friend stopped taking to her sister) . However she said she still liked me a lot. She said she wasn’t really ready just yet. She said something like she was damaged from before. But now I think everyday there’s nothing important to talk to her about. She is just like someone I see that I’m dating but im not. She started to be a bit dry after she said something happened at school where she wouldn’t tell me. We go to different schools as we live very far from each other. She is still good friends with her ex and they talk sometimes and her ex which we will call James, calls me names sometimes. Anyways, this past week she has been responding a bit more but I’m not sure what I should do next. The future piece with her isn’t very strong but I do want to date her because she is very nice and perfect. I want to ask her to be my gf formally on valentines but I’m not sure if I should and if it would be smart. This week she has been more or less normal with her texting but I’m just confused about what I should do next. Should I ask her to be my gf on valentines and buy her a couple things? Or do I keep waiting and stay in the talk phase, or should I just leave… thanks… Edited January 30 by wuves More clear title Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted January 30 Share Posted January 30 You should move on. This girl clearly told you that her feelings for you weren’t strong anymore. She is unwilling to have a real romantic relationship with you. It’s nobody’s fault, this happens all the time, you move on and you’ll certainly find a girl who really likes you. In the future, please don’t say “I love you” so easily, and don’t immediately believe when someone says this to you so soon. You weren’t even dating, which is a necessary stage during which people first figure out whether they really like each other or not. Love comes much later, it’s a process. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wuves Posted January 31 Author Share Posted January 31 19 hours ago, Gebidozo said: You should move on. This girl clearly told you that her feelings for you weren’t strong anymore. She is unwilling to have a real romantic relationship with you. It’s nobody’s fault, this happens all the time, you move on and you’ll certainly find a girl who really likes you. In the future, please don’t say “I love you” so easily, and don’t immediately believe when someone says this to you so soon. You weren’t even dating, which is a necessary stage during which people first figure out whether they really like each other or not. Love comes much later, it’s a process. 19 hours ago, Gebidozo said: You should move on. This girl clearly told you that her feelings for you weren’t strong anymore. She is unwilling to have a real romantic relationship with you. It’s nobody’s fault, this happens all the time, you move on and you’ll certainly find a girl who really likes you. In the future, please don’t say “I love you” so easily, and don’t immediately believe when someone says this to you so soon. You weren’t even dating, which is a necessary stage during which people first figure out whether they really like each other or not. Love comes much later, it’s a process. She said that her feelings aren’t as strong but it’s still present and like there… how should I deal with that? Still same thing? Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted January 31 Share Posted January 31 Even if you’ve been happily married for 25 years and your wive tells you that her feelings aren’t as strong as before, it is a cause for alarm. But if a girl you haven’t even started dating yet says that, it means she never had any kind of serious feelings and now she’s just realized that. A girl who really likes you would never say something like that. And you should only date people who really like you and whom you really like. Definitely move on. Never chase anyone whose feelings aren’t as strong as yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wuves Posted February 2 Author Share Posted February 2 On 1/31/2025 at 12:16 AM, Gebidozo said: Even if you’ve been happily married for 25 years and your wive tells you that her feelings aren’t as strong as before, it is a cause for alarm. But if a girl you haven’t even started dating yet says that, it means she never had any kind of serious feelings and now she’s just realized that. A girl who really likes you would never say something like that. And you should only date people who really like you and whom you really like. Definitely move on. Never chase anyone whose feelings aren’t as strong as yours. Since Valentine’s Day is coming should I ask her if we should date or should I ask her to be my valentine? Or what should I ask her… or should I not… Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 1 hour ago, wuves said: Since Valentine’s Day is coming should I ask her if we should date or should I ask her to be my valentine? Or what should I ask her… or should I not… Errr… Did you read the two replies that I wrote? Please go back and re-read them if you’re really interested in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
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