Don't know how to end it

[Lovelost76]

I need some advice. I'm in a relationship with someone I don't want to be with, but I don't know how to get the message across to her fully.

We don't live together, but I did help her to get a lease on a house because she was struggling, so my name is on her tenancy agreement. I have my own house.

This woman is totally infatuated with me to the point that it is obsessional. If I go anywhere I know that she drives by to check I'm actually there, she has let certain things slip that tell me so. She has joined me on my hobbies in the guise of being interested but its really to keep an eye on me. She has even upset some of the people I do hobbies with, she's just too confrontational.

She has 7 children, she has the youngest 2 calling me dad and calling their actual father by his first name, I told her that this is totally wrong, but she won't hear it.

I have broken up with her a few times but each time she manages to convince me to get back with her, I'm not actually sure how she does it, I think I must be easily manipulated. When I break up with her, I have to go away for a few days because she more or less camps outside my house in her car.

None of my family of friends will have anything to do with her as they think we are totally wrong for each other. We argue constantly and she will say things then point-blank deny she said them or that I 'read the situation wrong' and I'm overreacting.

She is a terrible over spender and always runs short, so I have lent her lots of money, I think it is around £10,000 right now which I'll never get back.

I'm ready to cut my losses and break up, I just don't know how to do it.

[stillafool]

You just have to put your grown man pants on and do it.  Tell her point blank you are not in love with her nor will you ever be and to please don't contact you again. I don't know why you would lease a house for her in your name knowing you don't want her.  You need to speak to an attorney on how to unravel that.  It sounds like she doesn't want to lose you because you are her financial blanket.  Stop it.

[Georgia46]

Is there anything about her that you like and how long have you been together? 

[Gebidozo]

8 hours ago, Lovelost76 said:

I'm ready to cut my losses and break up, I just don't know how to do it.

Tell her that you don’t love her anymore and that you break up or good. Cut off all communication with her afterwards. Block her on social media. Change the lock on your door. If she keeps bothering you, call the police and get a restraining order. She has serious control issues and her behavior is abusive, but only you can put an end to it by never letting her into your life again.

[spiritedaway2003]

When she camps out at your place, tell her to leave.   You can be kind and firm.  If she still doesn't get the message, you need to be firm.  Or you will find yourself in a cycle that won't end.