Angie R Posted Thursday at 06:04 PM Share Posted Thursday at 06:04 PM My partner whom I’ve been with for a year now found out his children are moving outta state. We are currently in state LDR, so we discussed it briefly. He’s considering moving and when I asked him where we stand, he asked for some time to process everything to come to a decision. We talk daily and 3 days ago I asked for him to call me to discuss it and he hadn’t made time to call. I mentioned through text that I’d be open to trying LDR out outta state, and is when he mentioned it was a lot to process and loved me, but needs time. I haven’t heard from him in a day and a half and he didn’t give a timeline of his thoughts on us. When or should I reach out? We talked daily and seen each other every other week, so being no contact without a timeline is new to me? Not sure what to do while being understanding. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted Thursday at 07:53 PM Share Posted Thursday at 07:53 PM 1 hour ago, Angie R said: found out his children are moving outta state. "Found out" is a rather strange way to descibe this, so I have some questions. 1) How old his kids? 2) How involved in their lives is he? 3) Do they live with their mom? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angie R Posted Thursday at 08:58 PM Author Share Posted Thursday at 08:58 PM He’s involved 50/50 they plan on moving to Nashville, about 12 hours away. His ex got a new job, it was a possibility in past and he was open to parenting from afar, but I think reality set in she’s moving and he doesn’t feel comfortable moving from them. They are 3, 7, 9. I’m understanding but wish he’d be honest upfront. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted Thursday at 09:06 PM Share Posted Thursday at 09:06 PM Would I be right to assume he can't use the family court to stop her from taking the kids so far away? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angie R Posted Thursday at 10:13 PM Author Share Posted Thursday at 10:13 PM 1 hour ago, basil67 said: Would I be right to assume he can't use the family court to stop her from taking the kids so far away? I thought same and asked. His response was he didn’t want it to get nasty. but update! I think he blocked me….. maybe for any males on the forum, why?! Please explain? before this took place there were no issues, all plans of the future and last text was I love you and I need time to think. i gave in and texted take the time you need but you didn’t specify timeframe if you need a few weeks I’m okay with it. And it didn’t go through and still no response. guess no response is a response. Ughhhh Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted Thursday at 10:19 PM Share Posted Thursday at 10:19 PM He blocked you?! What an arsehole! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angie R Posted Thursday at 10:22 PM Author Share Posted Thursday at 10:22 PM 2 minutes ago, basil67 said: He blocked you?! What an arsehole! Yes. Hoping males can shed light?! Did I miss the signs? It has been amazing past year, and I get the panic for the kids moving. But not sure how me being supportive lead to this? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted Thursday at 10:28 PM Share Posted Thursday at 10:28 PM You mentioned that you were LDR for a year.....how often were you seeing each other? Had he initiated any conversations about the two of you moving in together? Also, you say you were supportive and also that you got the panic. It doesn't make sense to have both reactions at the same time. What kind of things were said? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angie R Posted Thursday at 10:39 PM Author Share Posted Thursday at 10:39 PM 8 minutes ago, basil67 said: You mentioned that you were LDR for a year.....how often were you seeing each other? Had he initiated any conversations about the two of you moving in together? Also, you say you were supportive and also that you got the panic. It doesn't make sense to have both reactions at the same time. What kind of things were said? We saw each other every other week sometimes once a week. we discussed him moving closer in the summer. he became distant when we last chatted in person about his kids moving definitively, like whole mood change, but still physically loving w me yet not clear on where he and I stood though. Once I got back home entirely distant but never clear on our future but said in multiple ways he needed time w out specifying how much time then went silent. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angie R Posted Thursday at 10:42 PM Author Share Posted Thursday at 10:42 PM 2 minutes ago, Angie R said: We saw each other every other week sometimes once a week. we discussed him moving closer in the summer. he became distant when we last chatted in person about his kids moving definitively, like whole mood change, but still physically loving w me yet not clear on where he and I stood though. Once I got back home entirely distant but never clear on our future but said in multiple ways he needed time w out specifying how much time then went silent. Maybe I pushed the issue too quickly and he felt pressured. Ugh now in hindsight I feel horrible. But still my life is in limbo too and not just his Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted Thursday at 10:48 PM Share Posted Thursday at 10:48 PM 3 minutes ago, Angie R said: Maybe I pushed the issue too quickly and he felt pressured. Ugh now in hindsight I feel horrible. But still my life is in limbo too and not just his No. He had already decided not to continue the LDR. He was just too much of a coward to admit it. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angie R Posted Thursday at 11:07 PM Author Share Posted Thursday at 11:07 PM 18 minutes ago, Acacia98 said: No. He had already decided not to continue the LDR. He was just too much of a coward to admit it. Glad you said it. Thinking same but had higher hopes he wasn’t this person I’m seeing. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted yesterday at 01:20 AM Share Posted yesterday at 01:20 AM 3 hours ago, Angie R said: but update! I think he blocked me….. maybe for any males on the forum, why?! Please explain? It feels like he has already made his decision to break up with you. If he really blocked you, then my guess is that he just didn’t have the honesty and the decency and the guts to tell you that directly face to face. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted yesterday at 01:26 AM Share Posted yesterday at 01:26 AM 2 hours ago, Angie R said: Did I miss the signs? It has been amazing past year A LDR lasting only one year while meeting once per week can give you no definite signs, pet alone qualify as being truly amazing. Every relationship should pass the test of time, and here the time was severely lacking. I noticed that the vast majority of relationships that start as LDRs are based on unrealistic expectations and tend to break intro crumbs when they’re forced to confront reality. LDRs are generally only possible between people who have already built a solid relationship and know and trust each other to be apart for a while. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angie R Posted yesterday at 02:51 AM Author Share Posted yesterday at 02:51 AM 1 hour ago, Gebidozo said: A LDR lasting only one year while meeting once per week can give you no definite signs, pet alone qualify as being truly amazing. Every relationship should pass the test of time, and here the time was severely lacking. I noticed that the vast majority of relationships that start as LDRs are based on unrealistic expectations and tend to break intro crumbs when they’re forced to confront reality. LDRs are generally only possible between people who have already built a solid relationship and know and trust each other to be apart for a while. Agreed. First and last LDR, we had known each other from school age and reconnected. And thought it could work, but I agree. Limited time with not enough issues to test a true relationship. This post has helped! While only a few hours have past, being an adult and breakups are different. You cry for about 1/2 a day and think there’s more out there. Still amazed at our age I was blocked without a true breakup. My gain if anything. Still no response, so I’m sure I was. 38 yrs and he’s 40. Some ppl just don’t grow up I guess. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted yesterday at 06:24 AM Share Posted yesterday at 06:24 AM 3 hours ago, Angie R said: Still amazed at our age I was blocked without a true breakup. Any chance he's been seeing his kids' mom again? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted yesterday at 07:46 AM Share Posted yesterday at 07:46 AM 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: Any chance he's been seeing his kids' mom again? I also wondered about that... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angie R Posted 19 hours ago Author Share Posted 19 hours ago 5 hours ago, Acacia98 said: I also wondered about that... Saga continues. im not blocked as I thought. He responded to my message. said he’s mentally exhausted with having to decide. Just apologized for being distant, but left it open. I decided to end things on my own accord, with him being uncertain and distant it’s not worth it. If we’re still in early stages of relationship and his ex can easily make fam decisions for them, with no pushback on his end not sure something I want to be a part of. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted 19 hours ago Share Posted 19 hours ago 29 minutes ago, Angie R said: I decided to end things on my own accord, with him being uncertain and distant it’s not worth it. If we’re still in early stages of relationship and his ex can easily make fam decisions for them, with no pushback on his end not sure something I want to be a part of. I'm proud of you for making this decision. It's the most sensible thing you can do under the circumstances. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Angie R Posted 17 hours ago Author Share Posted 17 hours ago 1 hour ago, Acacia98 said: I'm proud of you for making this decision. It's the most sensible thing you can do under the circumstances. Thanks. Amazing how this forum helped. Thank you all. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted 1 hour ago Share Posted 1 hour ago 18 hours ago, Angie R said: I decided to end things on my own accord, with him being uncertain and distant it’s not worth it. If we’re still in early stages of relationship and his ex can easily make fam decisions for them, with no pushback on his end not sure something I want to be a part of. I think you made a very wise choice. The writing is on the wall here, and best to see yourself out rather than go through more pain. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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