Sprinklesitchy Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 I'm a 30 year old Indian woman living and working as an engineer in Europe for the past four years. I moved to Germany recently and been having a hard time dating German men. All the dates I've been on have been great. The men pay for the dates always which is something that doesn't happen in Germany often, they open doors and be all gentlemanly. They love talking to me and my dates have been hours long sometimes. But they don't lead to anything one way or other. Recently I matched with this guy who's 23 years old. I usually don't go on dates with guys that young and so was skeptical but he was kind and gentle. He has a good career in finance too and is doing his masters currently and when we met we actually had a good time. We spent six hours together and he came and waited ay the train station to send me off. We met day before yesterday, I took him to an indian restaurant and despite silly me leaving my purse at home, he paid for the food and took me to a brewery after too. I felt comfortable with him, we waited at the train station for me again. I went to his city twice which is half an hour from my city and since he said he hasnt been to my city, I asked him he could come here next time and it would be my treat since he paid for me all these times and I haven't heard from him he did text me last week before we made plans that he will be busy this weekend but still just confirming plans wouldn't take so long isn't it? Or am I being paranoid 😅 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 I don't know. Maybe he is thinking you're again inviting him on a date that you leave your purse at home, and he has to pay for it. Not cool. I'm a woman and can't fathom doing that. It sounds like you've been having a good time going on dates so why did you say this: 1 hour ago, Sprinklesitchy said: I moved to Germany recently and been having a hard time dating German men. You don't seem to be having a hard time at all. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 (edited) 3 hours ago, Sprinklesitchy said: I asked him he could come here next time When did you text him that? If it was less than 1-2 days I'd just give him a bit of time - you're not in a committed relationship yet so it's understandable that he might take some time to answer. If it's been more than 3-4 days then probably not. It's fine if you prefer men who pay, but I agree that leaving your purse at home is not cool. What would you do if you were out by yourself and did that? Try not to do that again next time. You should always have the ability to pay for yourself if you need to, regardless of your preference. Also, I'm not sure what you're looking for, and 23 vs 30 is not a bad age gap. But that being said, if you're looking for a long term relationship leading to marriage in the near future, most 23yo men won't be able to give you that. Edited February 2 by Els Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sprinklesitchy Posted February 2 Author Share Posted February 2 I agree it wasn't really cool. I'm not really proud of it and I did text him that the next one would be on me. I texted him a day ago so I guess it makes sense to wait. I don't have a preference about the men paying for my food and drinks but he insisted on paying for them so I let him do it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 3 hours ago, Sprinklesitchy said: silly me leaving my purse at home So you just walked out the door totally empty-handed? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: So you just walked out the door totally empty-handed? Could be cultural confusion? The US world 'purse' is known as a handbag in many other countries. And in other countries, a 'purse' is what others may call a wallet If I left home without a purse, it means I grabbed by handbag but forgot to put a purse in it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sprinklesitchy Posted February 2 Author Share Posted February 2 I guess I have to clarify this, I meant my wallet. I forgot to put my wallet in my handbag. It's a bit confusing as we call it as purse in my country. But either way it's not very nice of me and I do regret it:) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 8 minutes ago, Sprinklesitchy said: I guess I have to clarify this, I meant my wallet. I forgot to put my wallet in my handbag. It's a bit confusing as we call it as purse in my country. But either way it's not very nice of me and I do regret it:) What about your phone? It would have had payment apps on it (Granted, my parents don't use one, but they are 83) Regarding the young man you dated, It could be that he's taking his time. It could be that he's busy dating others and needs to fit you in somewhere. It could be that he likes to book a next meetup closer to the day. It could be that he doesn't want to see you again. It could be that he decided to stick with girls his own age. Only time will tell Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 4 hours ago, Sprinklesitchy said: I agree it wasn't really cool. I'm not really proud of it and I did text him that the next one would be on me. I texted him a day ago so I guess it makes sense to wait. I don't have a preference about the men paying for my food and drinks but he insisted on paying for them so I let him do it. Yeah if it's just been a day I wouldn't worry about it. Give it another 1-2 days and see IMO. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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