does cold approach work

[ASAP ROCKY]

l am tempted to say that it doesnt. most of the guys l know who do cold approach never get any females. the men l know who date never do cold approach. cold approach is simply unatural. most guys do cold approach out of desperation, not because it is efficient, or effective. lt's usually a last resort

[NuevoYorko]

Sometimes.  A "goal oriented" approach is almost sure to leave you feeling disappointed.  Cold approaches work better for people who are naturally gregarious and for whom talking to strangers is not uncomfortable - it's normal.  Such people might talk to an old lady, ask if a stranger needs help,  ask where somebody got their backpack ... 

For a more shy, perhaps socially awkward person. a cold approach can be extremely uncomfortable, and the result can be way too fraught with meanings.  

That's no reason not to try it - but maybe build up to it by talking to random people you encounter in day to day life, where their response to you won't be so heavily fraught with meanings.  And you'll get better at talking to strangers.  

[basil67]

I agree with @NuevoYorko

People who can do cold approaches are the kind to chat with everyone.   I am female and one of these people.  If there is a natural opening for conversation, I'll take it.   

I remember getting into a conversation with a man at a small fruit and veg store over some kind of vegetable, we kept chatting as we walked out and continued chatting walking down the street in the same direction.  Nobody asked anybody out (though had I been single I might have asked him out) it was simply conversation for the sake of being friendly.   

Though even as someone who's very friendly, I never liked being approached by someone saw me at a distance and made a bee line over to ask me out.  That's just weird and uncomfortable.   Don't do that.    Ask her out because she's nice and friendly.....not because she's a hottie you saw in the mall

 

[NuevoYorko]

These conversations about "cold approaches" usually get bogged down in sad reflections about good looks ... I'm pretty sure that a great looking man who was very uncomfortable at a cold approach is not likely to get the result that he wanted, unless he is a charming guy and looks endearing as he stumbles awkwardly.  

I less handsome guy who has the gift of gab / charm is ahead of the game.   

Circumstances are your friend.  There are some where it would be very natural for two people to catch each others' eye and start chatting, similar to what @basil67described.   

And be aware that everybody has a life.  So if a man approaches a woman who's shopping alone, or drinking coffee on a bench by herself, he has NO idea what's going on with her.  Often a person alone is not open to being intruded upon. They might not even be single.  Maybe it's an existential crisis.  Also often, they'd welcome it.  If you make an effort, you need to just accept if you get brushed off, because it could very well not be about you at all.   

[basil67]

Yes!  Some guys are told to meet women in a cafe or a bookstore.  But given there's no natural way to start conversation, I think both suggestions are very intrusive

[ExpatInItaly]

If you are not a naturally a person who is in the habit of striking up conversation with strangers , the so-called "cold approach" is never going to work. 

And that goes for both parties involved. I am not someone who enjoys chatting with strange men. I never have. So on the occasion a man has randomly struck up a conversation with me when I'm out running errands or some such thing, I have not really reciprocated. It's my character. 

 

[Foxhall]

I think any practice at real life dating scenarios is worth a go,

that natural first smile or first conversation with the right stranger surpasses for me any online computer or app exchanges,