Nice guys are NOT what women want

[JET]

they are merely what women SAY they want, which means nothing.

 

a touch of nonmonogamy, some deception, and moderate degree of controlling behavior and the chicks will thank you in the end

 

yooung and attractive women tend to be drama junkies, and "nice guys" just don't do it for most of them, as it concerns the big " chemistry"

[sparkle]

Yes, nice guys don't have the best of luck, and it seems that the jerks are getting all the ladies. But you don't have to be a jerk to do that.

 

You can be a VERY nice guy and you can still have good luck with women. Just don't be too nice. Never act like you NEED them and that you can't live without them. Don't call/email every single day. Don't hang out with them every single day. Have a separate life with your own friends, and don't stop going out with the guys on your own.

 

Be CONFIDENT. Don't act like they are a queen and you are their servant. Don't buy them things all the time or bring them flowers too often. They are just as lucky to have you as you are lucky to have them. You two are EQUAL partners. Don't kiss their butts. Don't allow them to walk all over you.

 

Be a challenge. The more you act like you have your own separate life and the more you act like you're with them because you WANT to be, and not because they are the only person out there, the more the girls will like you and respect you for that.

 

We like nice guys. But we like them to be 'cool, calm and collected'. We don't like guys that are SO nice that it tends to look pathetic, seem boring, and there just isn't any excitement or fun in that.

[Artlover]

Yes, nice guys don't have the best of luck, and it seems that the jerks are getting all the ladies. But you don't have to be a jerk to do that. You can be a VERY nice guy and you can still have good luck with women. Just don't be too nice. Never act like you NEED them and that you can't live without them. Don't call/email every single day. Don't hang out with them every single day. Have a separate life with your own friends, and don't stop going out with the guys on your own.

 

Be CONFIDENT. Don't act like they are a queen and you are their servant. Don't buy them things all the time or bring them flowers too often. They are just as lucky to have you as you are lucky to have them. You two are EQUAL partners. Don't kiss their butts. Don't allow them to walk all over you. Be a challenge. The more you act like you have your own separate life and the more you act like you're with them because you WANT to be, and not because they are the only person out there, the more the girls will like you and respect you for that. We like nice guys. But we like them to be 'cool, calm and collected'. We don't like guys that are SO nice that it tends to look pathetic, seem boring, and there just isn't any excitement or fun in that.

[Confused]

I think guys that are too nice are not able to show that they are an independant body able to add extra strength and insight into the relationship. If they are at the beck and call of the woman, they are not a man in the traditional sense. I think the woman just ends up feeling like a mother as well as a girlfriend, and she has little to aspire to.

 

I think being able to add an element of fun and creativity to the relationship is a much stronger lure than how nice, agreeable and relable you are, despite the fact that they are also important in the long term.

[JET]

and typical of many (usually chicks)you go into this collateral issue of me who are whimps/marshmellows/or ass kissers

 

SORRY BUT THAT IS A SEPERATE ISSUE

 

my post presumes the " nice guy" is not some butt kissing marshmellow. My critical point that women's " chemistry" (they often speak of) is itself some kind of evolutionary determined mechanism directing them toward males deemed optimum genetic survivors-thus explaining MANY attractive young women's (serial) attraction toward deceptive, nonmonogamous, and controlling males

 

Your response merely repeats the obvious, whereas my original post (and several others in recent weeks) goes to the very essense of the issue, as to why typical nice guy behavior (monogamy, sincerity, and noncontrolling behavior) is often a fatal flaw for men as it concerns their relationships with certain women.

 

There is nothing surprising about women being turned off by whimpy butt kissing me.

 

The surprise is how much women in fact actually tend to crave distrust in men, and how nonsensical their " i want a nice guy" mantra really is .While they may believe that they want a nice guy, the " chemistry " tend to direct them away from these men- and its the chemistry that provides the go/no go relationship decision for most of these women

[Artlover]

And I think that that goes both ways too! Men do this as well. I think this is more about immaturity than anything else. Women generally grow out of that crap by 30. It sadly takes many men a lot longer. 45 year old men with guts believing in their heart of hearts that they deserve and will find a supermodel to settle down with is not at all uncommon. Men rely on "chemistry" too.

 

The bottom line is this. Neither men nor women (as long as they're emotionally mature) push away a potential partner they feel connected to on a mental/emotional/spiritual level, strictly due to some unrealistic physical standard. Take a look around you. All sorts of seemingly mismatched people are getting married/moving in together everyday. I think when people are ready to settle down, their priorities in a mate shift dramatically.

 

Has something happened to you recently to make you this bitter?

and typical of many (usually chicks)you go into this collateral issue of me who are whimps/marshmellows/or ass kissers SORRY BUT THAT IS A SEPERATE ISSUE my post presumes the " nice guy" is not some butt kissing marshmellow. My critical point that women's " chemistry" (they often speak of) is itself some kind of evolutionary determined mechanism directing them toward males deemed optimum genetic survivors-thus explaining MANY attractive young women's (serial) attraction toward deceptive, nonmonogamous, and controlling males Your response merely repeats the obvious, whereas my original post (and several others in recent weeks) goes to the very essense of the issue, as to why typical nice guy behavior (monogamy, sincerity, and noncontrolling behavior) is often a fatal flaw for men as it concerns their relationships with certain women. There is nothing surprising about women being turned off by whimpy butt kissing me. The surprise is how much women in fact actually tend to crave distrust in men, and how nonsensical their " i want a nice guy" mantra really is .While they may believe that they want a nice guy, the " chemistry " tend to direct them away from these men- and its the chemistry that provides the go/no go relationship decision for most of these women