SDKev858 Posted Thursday at 05:10 AM Share Posted Thursday at 05:10 AM (edited) This was an ongoing battle in a tough situation that is out of our reach. We had a 14-hour, 3-session talk on the phone conversation. We have a lot of common interests and could talk for hours. At first, we agreed we were friends; she claimed that I was in a friend zone. She was not emotionally invested as I am to her. She stated I wanted more, like being romantic. She was not looking for that right now because of a situation we are in. This was very hard on both sides because of a dark situation. I told her I didn't buy that. Friends don't allow deep hugging affection throughout the day and other affection to let it continue. Sex never happens; I don't see her that way when I deeply love someone. She stated, I would have been a great dad and partner. I am confused and ask what she means by that. I am still confused. She also stated. If I ever need anything in the near future, just ask me, and I'll do it. I am confused by what she means by that too. I try to end it 3 times, and each time she avoids it or stays silent by ghosting the question. The 2nd time got more serious because of something I did. The 3rd time was the final one that we had a 6-hour+ conversation. I told her before I make a final decision, you need to be honest with me, and she paused. She said, Since I am more emotionally invested in this, you decide. (This was over the phone). She said, I will be "fine" with either option to end it or continue as friends. Noted: When a girl says she's fine with it. That means she's not fine. I texted her back with my conclusion to end it forever and told her how I felt. I think she was sad with my decision. She ghosted me for 1 week. I've noticed she was online a lot more than usual; what I've learned about her. She only goes online when she is bored or sad or avoiding something. I knew she was checking up on me in regard to my concerns towards my emotional depression. After I mention it in my post, when people are done with me or get what they need. I am tossed out. She replies back on text. saying, I do care and definitely haven't tossed you aside. She read my text to break contact and mentioned to me that I understand you wanted to break contact. I don't want to bring you further pain. I haven't walked away and am still a friend to you. I didn't reply back to her text; she went back online knowing I would post something on social media. Since she read my current feed, I was left speechless for 1 day. The next day she appears back, probably to snoop on me. Should I continue to ignore her, since she only tries once to contact me? Should I wait for another reply? We had a 14-hour, 3-session talk on the phone conversation. We have a lot of common interests and could talk for hours. Edited Thursday at 05:19 AM by SDKev858 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SDKev858 Posted Thursday at 05:52 AM Author Share Posted Thursday at 05:52 AM I really need help on this, If we had a several long conversation over the phone. She let me decide to be friends or end it. I text her back and end it, knowing it won't be the same anymore. We're in a battle because of a situation that can't be controlled. 1 week passed after she read my text. I notice she was online alot and checking my recent feed on social media. She text me during that pass week reguarding my concern with my emotion. She mention that i have not tossed you aside yet and still consider as a friend and told me i read your message and wasn't sure to stay away or text back. Now she pop in and out on social media probably glancing at my feed. I have a feeling she doing that on certain post that she hurt or she hurt because i didn't reply back. I ignored her for 4 day's already, Should i text her back. It sound like she has mix feeling for me and we feel the same way and it is hard for her as well to lose me. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted Thursday at 07:22 AM Share Posted Thursday at 07:22 AM Why did you break up? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SDKev858 Posted Thursday at 07:40 AM Author Share Posted Thursday at 07:40 AM (edited) 21 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Why did you break up? I posted another long version to this. This is cofusing and complicated. She married with kids, First she was planning a divorce but un-sured about it. The final good bye the 3rd one she stated, she doesn't want to go through with it. I didn't buy that from all what she said, she saying that so i can move on before things get sticky. This is where things get complicated, She is married to my cousin which makes her a cousin in law. Things just happen and we allow it to continue, things got sticky and I try to end 2 or 3 times because I felt her mix emotion about me. Sex was not involved. I value her conversaion, We hug deeply throughout the day, She allow me to place my arms around her waist etc. She took my heart, Because I never met someone that we can talk for hours without being bored, I've been on many dates and they come and go. Not this one Should I text her back, Since she text me towards my concern or wait for 2nd text ( I doubt it ) or wait after V-day? She been eye balling on social media after 1 week pass she just pop on and off not like the first week to check my post feed. Could she be sad on certain quotes on my feed that why she pop in and out. Edited Thursday at 07:44 AM by SDKev858 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted Thursday at 08:11 AM Share Posted Thursday at 08:11 AM 29 minutes ago, SDKev858 said: She is married to my cousin So, in short, you are having an affair with your cousin's wife. Dude. Come on. Who cares about all the social media nonsense and wanting to be friends? You need to give your head a good shake. And then do it agian. This is dysfunctional on just about every level and you need to come back down to earth. Not only is she maried but she is married to your relative. This was never going to amount to anything, and you stand to hurt a lot of people. Do better. Don't be that guy anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SDKev858 Posted Thursday at 08:22 AM Author Share Posted Thursday at 08:22 AM (edited) 22 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: So, in short, you are having an affair with your cousin's wife. Dude. Come on. Who cares about all the social media nonsense and wanting to be friends? You need to give your head a good shake. And then do it agian. This is dysfunctional on just about every level and you need to come back down to earth. Not only is she maried but she is married to your relative. This was never going to amount to anything, and you stand to hurt a lot of people. Do better. Don't be that guy anymore. Trust me, I have thought about this too as you mention, She did too and we talk about that on the phone when we try to end it the first one. She stated he will get mad and say bad things about her that I am having an affair with my cousin, Her kids would think bad about her. It would not look good in court if she does get a divorce. She stated, I would been a good dad and a partner and also mention, futher down in the future if you need anything just ask and i will do it. That was her line. She quoted "She mention that i have not tossed you aside yet and still consider as a friend" The social media after was when i ended because she didn't want to make that decision and let me do it since i was more emotional about it. She was okay either option. She didn't know what to do if she reply back or stay away, So she was constantly checking on me through social media and found a quote i stated and text me saying that she cares on my well being and still consider me as a friend. I did not reply back Edited Thursday at 08:33 AM by SDKev858 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted Thursday at 11:36 AM Share Posted Thursday at 11:36 AM (edited) All this social media malarkey is really not relevant to the bigger picture, which I fear you have lost sight of. She is married to someone else. Not just anyone. Your own family member. This is not a typical break-up at all. Try not to waste time treating it as such. It's an affair that needs to end. You should have as little contact with her as possible. Period Edited Thursday at 11:37 AM by ExpatInItaly Link to post Share on other sites
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