Mizz Layta Posted February 11 Share Posted February 11 I had fling with a co worker and the first time we went out and he treated me well and I fell for him. He ended things and started seeing another co worker. Things ended between them and we started talking again and agreed to hook up. I still have feelings for him but didn't want a serious relationship either with him and was okay to just get together here and there and have fun. No pressure. But he treated me differently this time around. He didn't initiate contact and would often bail on plans.He would speak at me rudely in front of others at work. For instance, I will ask a work related question and he will say " it's none of your business " or be quiet! Another time I asked him and someone else something and he directed me. Then I was like I took his advice when someone asked then he was like " I don't care"! Loudly Another time he was like" i'm so glad i'm off tomorrow so I don't have to see you, referring to me and another co worker...just to name few examples. Sometimes I would hug him when we were alone and he will say that's going to cost you $10 jokingly and he even said if I still want to continue to get this peace, meaning sex, I have to start paying him...I brushed it off thinking he was just playing around. We made plans for him to come over, and when I texted him to confirm, he was like " remember what I told you, no money, no honey. When I asked if he's serious, he sents a laughing emoji. Then he canceled because of family emergency and didn't reschedule The last straw was when I gave him a gift card for Christmas he said thank you, then he asked how much it was, and said it should be $200 minimum, when I told him the card vallue he looked disappointed and he said shameful, that's all you gave me.. Implying it wasn't enough for him. This hurt my feelings so i brought it to his attention. And told him that I don't like the way he is speaking to me at work either. Instead of apologizing, he flipped it on me by saying I can't take jokes. Then he returned the gift card and just left it on my table. Then he said it's best we don't talk because he has no way of knowing what I will seriously. I told him that I just want him to treat me with respect and talk to me normally and he insisted that we don't need to talk beyond what's required for work. Why was he treating me like this? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted February 11 Share Posted February 11 He's treating you like that because he doesn't think of you in a positive way, obviously - and he's a jerk. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 12 Share Posted February 12 7 hours ago, Mizz Layta said: The last straw was when I gave him a gift card for Christmas he said thank you, then he asked how much it was, and said it should be $200 Girl, what? Why on earth did you buy him a present? This peson barely tolerates you now, and you rewarded him. What were you thinking there? He isn't kind or even likable. Stay away from him. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 12 Share Posted February 12 (edited) So let's say we tell you exactly why he's treating you like dirt, what is that going to change? He will continue being someone treating you like dirt. Is knowing why would make you feel better? Of course not. What reason could possibly make it ok to treat you this way? None. People treat us the way they feel about us. That's all you need to know. What he feels for you is ugly, toxic, destructive. Edited February 12 by Gaeta Quote Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted February 12 Share Posted February 12 20 hours ago, Mizz Layta said: we started talking again and agreed to hook up. I think he is making it abundantly clear that you are a hook up and nothing more. All the jokes and jabs are to let you know that he wants you to keep your distance, especially at work. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted February 12 Share Posted February 12 he's treating you the minimum amount that you'll allow for you to continue having sex with him Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted February 12 Share Posted February 12 He acted that way towards you because he has zero respect for you. You also have been acting like you have zero respect for yourself. Why on earth, after he treats you like this, would you still hang out with him, still invite him over, and get him a xmas present? What were you thinking? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 12 Share Posted February 12 You have posted this a few months ago...you are going to have to accept the advice given. It's time to let it go. You need to stop letting a holes like this take up space in your head and we have told you that. Nothing is going to change unless you change your thinking on this. Move onto happier times. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 13 Share Posted February 13 12 hours ago, smackie9 said: You have posted this a few months ago I thought this sounded familliar. OP, did you not like the advice you got before? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted February 13 Share Posted February 13 On 2/12/2025 at 6:10 AM, Mizz Layta said: Why was he treating me like this? A much better question is why are you letting him treat you like this? What does it matter why he is being a jerk? The only real answer that would be helpful to you is “because you let him”. Stop communicating with him altogether. There are much nicer men available for both casual sex and a more serious connection. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 13 Share Posted February 13 He has completely lost all respect for you and could care less if he sees you again, not even for sex. Why can't you see that? He's not even trying to hide his disdain for you. Please stop talking to him and regain yourself respect. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Interstellar Posted February 14 Share Posted February 14 Because when he ended things the first time you took him back the second time, that’s why he doesn’t respect you. Obviously not right to use you but please don’t volunteer to be the victim next time. Get rid of him. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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