gordon_gc Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 My 1 year gf broke up with me 2 months ago. We kept contact on and off. Recently, we have been in touch more than usual and in a more civil way without talking at any time of the break up or the relationship. Last week-end has been pretty full-on. We haven't seen eachother for about a month and I met her on friday and then on saturday. On friday night, i could feel it was awkward so we didnt get to talk much (we were both drunk). On saturday, I saw her at a music festival about 3 or 4 times. Everytime, I did try to show her I was having a blast (I was!) and never stayed around more than a few minutes. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable actually. During that day, some of my good friends (girls) were there and at some point, my friends and I went to chill on the grass cuddling and massaging eachothers (nothing sexual). My ex knows some of them but not all of them. I don't know if my ex or one of her friends saw me but i realise the situation from an external point of view could look confusing and misleading. Since then, I haven't heard from her but that's not it !!! On monday, I knew she was starting work again so I decided to send flowers to her work with a card saying "I know how hard going back to work is so just thought I would make your day a brighter one with these flowers. Kisses. David. I miss you". My intention was actually to put a smile on her face. I haven't got a reply, a thank or even a thank-but-stop. Just silence that make me feel like s..it thinking "is she upset about the flowers? about the music festival? is she confused? " . I don't know what to think anymore. I am lost, down, sick of everything. What do you think she is thinking ? What should I do ? Link to post Share on other sites
RZA-Man Posted January 10, 2006 Share Posted January 10, 2006 go into NC. Link to post Share on other sites
gfto Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 What did you do wrong? 1. You stayed in contact with her. 2. You sent her flowers. Dude, this girl DUMPED YOU, and you're sending her flowers!!! I'll tell you exactly what she's thinking.....what a wuss! I don't mean to be blunt, but that's what she's thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gordon_gc Posted January 11, 2006 Author Share Posted January 11, 2006 I realise that what makes me really sad in that whole thing is too be uncertain about the reasons of her silence... Is she in NC because she is upset thinking I have moved on ? Or is she in NC because she is upset seeing I haven't moved on ? The outcome is the same but in some way, I need an answer but don't know how to get it...I should definitely be the strong one and not initiate contact but it is bloody hard !!! Sick of loving...what is the purpose of being in love ? I feel the pain is too strong for me to handle Link to post Share on other sites
BetterKarma Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 I know exactly how you feel. You can read my post if you want to. Unfortunately, you will not get an answer, and you know it. The most you will get is some made up crap that you don't really believe and will lead you wondering even more. Definitely go to NC. She is the one that dumped you, you shouldn't have to do the groveling. She should be the one to grovel and if she doesn't, then she doesn't deserve you. I know it's easier said than done, I get the same advice and I feel the same pain you are feeling. But we have to live one moment at a time. Don't look into the future or think about finding someone else. Go one moment at a time to help you control yourself on NC. When I am at my worst, I take out old pics of my life prior to my ex and i see how happy I was and how free I was and that makes me feel better. It shows that I can have fun without him and I have had LOTS of fun before him. We will be ok. We will be better than ok. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gordon_gc Posted January 11, 2006 Author Share Posted January 11, 2006 I realise that what makes me really sad in that whole thing is too be uncertain about the reasons of her silence... Is she in NC because she is upset thinking I have moved on ? Or is she in NC because she is upset seeing I haven't moved on ? The outcome is the same but in some way, I need an answer but don't know how to get it...I should definitely be the strong one and not initiate contact but it is bloody hard !!! Sick of loving...what is the purpose of being in love ? I feel the pain is too strong for me to handle Alrit, lil' update... My ex actually just called to thank me for the flowers. She actually started work today so didnt get the flowers 'til now. We had a good talk and i cut it short saying I had things to do. She told me she would call tonight... At least, she is not upset or doesn't seem to be. What should I do now ??? Link to post Share on other sites
BetterKarma Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 The ball is in her court now. If she calls, let her lead. Don't offer any personal information to her. If she doesn't call tonight, then I would start NC. Good Luck and hope she calls you! Link to post Share on other sites
gfto Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 No contact. Once you're out, you're out. She had to thank you for the flowers. It doesn't mean anything. If she shows up on your doorstep crying and holding an expensive box of chocolates, then go ahead and talk to her. Otherwise, I'd block her calls and e-mails. Link to post Share on other sites
J dub Posted January 11, 2006 Share Posted January 11, 2006 I have a feeling the flowers made her feel guilty because she doesnt have any intentions on getting back together but its obvious its on your mind. She didnt thank you. You need to see this for what it is: She's not yours and shes not interested on working on things. Move on. NC! Link to post Share on other sites
Author gordon_gc Posted January 13, 2006 Author Share Posted January 13, 2006 Why do i keep giving advices on NC that I cant apply myself??? I have a feeling the flowers made her feel guilty because she doesnt have any intentions on getting back together but its obvious its on your mind. She didnt thank you. You need to see this for what it is: She's not yours and shes not interested on working on things. Move on. NC! Jdub, Thanks for your honesty, it hurts but you were true. She did call to thank me about the flowers but i guess it was more a polite behavior than anything else. Since then, she hasnt called and it brings me down a lot again !!! What happened to the lovable person I once knew...it's like she became a cold heart b...itch self centered who has no respect for herself or others (probably a phase she is going through) Right now, I have accepted and realised that NC will be the only cure for me. She obviously doesnt give a s...it about me and my love for her and I am tired to fight for it. Now, my only concern is that I would love her to call once more so I can tell her I do not want to be contacted anymore...just so she understand the NC comes from me and not from her decision...silly ??? I want to leave with my head up ! Link to post Share on other sites
gfto Posted January 13, 2006 Share Posted January 13, 2006 Now, my only concern is that I would love her to call once more so I can tell her I do not want to be contacted anymore...just so she understand the NC comes from me and not from her decision...silly ??? I want to leave with my head up ! exactly! And, it will happen sooner or later. But, don't even answer the phone. Just let it go to voice mail, and don't return the call. If you even bother to tell her that you want NC, then you're basically telling her that she still gets to you. Link to post Share on other sites
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