Having a hard time over here....got the jealous fever

[ryan05]

First and foremost I want to say...UGH!

 

How do I get over this. The questions I'd love to ask if she couldn't lie, I tell you.

 

My wife and her boss are really good friends. They do alot together at work, and they do alot together outside of work. Its driving me nuts. I feel there's nothing I can do but to swallow this disgustingly nasty tasting pill. The constantly do lunch, do dinner, go for runs, stay late working, their work (but the two of them as well) goes out for sporting events, gooes to clubs, all the while I'm at home wondering whats really going on.

 

I love my wife, but cringe everytime she mentions this guy.

 

How do I get over this sickness. I fear it might cost a serious relationship and my marriage. She knows how I feel but won't change.

[Bryanp]

Hello,

 

I am sorry what you are going through but this is totally unacceptable. She spends so much of her free time going to dinner and clubs with the boss? Get real. If the roles were reversed, do you honestly think your wife would put up with such crap from you if you were running around with another woman?

It sounds like you are in a marriage consisting of three people. She is totally disrespecting and humiliating you with this behavior. You stay home while she goes clubbing with this guy?

 

Clearly she has no boundaries. It does not seem like you have much of a marriage. This is so totally unacceptable. If she is not willing to change then seek an attornery. The chances are pretty good they are having an affair from what you describe or have been close in the past. What is the point of being married if you have to share your wife with another man? Again if the roles were reversed, do you honestly think your wife would be staying home while you go dancing with a close female friend at night?

Your wife clearly does not respect you. If you do not respect yourself then who will? You deserve better than this. Her actions speaks volumes where she places you and your marriage on her priority list. Why would you accept being second best? Open your eyes. I wish you luck.

[ryan05]

I should say that their work doesn't go clubbing that much, but when they do go its always staff only.

 

I feel a bit pushed aside by this guy and don't know what to do. She thinks I'm being jealous and say I've got nothing to worry about.

[ryan05]

I should say that their work doesn't go clubbing that much, but when they do go its always staff only.

 

I feel a bit pushed aside by this guy and don't know what to do. She thinks I'm being jealous and say I've got nothing to worry about. But here I am, getting worried about "nothing".

 

He's a lawyer and she's his paralegal so I guess it goes without saying that they will spend alot of time together, but I really hate feeling this way, its destroying me inside.

 

She's quite open about the things they do together if I ask, but most time I'll have to ask, where were ya this day or that day, and she'll say, oh, I was out with him. And then I get that stupid feeling in my throat and spend the next half hour trying to not think about it.

 

Is this just me being jealous or do I have something to worry about.

[Bryanp]

Ryan,

 

Look at your own words. They work long hours together. They go to lunches and dinners together. They go running together. They go out at times to clubs together. They go to sporting events together in the evening while you stay home. How do you think affairs happen. Again if the roles were reversed, do you think she would accept this? She spends more time with him than you her husband. Why would you be willing to be in such a relationship. I would think about hiring a friend or a PI to observe them in the evenings when they are out and see how they interact. It sounds like they are spending way too much time together. I don't think this sounds good at all and it is very unfair to you. You need to set boundaries in your marriage. I wish you luck.

[witabix]

This does look a little off, from what you say.

 

Have you tried sitting her down and talking it through?

 

What did say?