Is she dropping hints or am I reading into things?

[MeKnowNothing]

Hi,

Been going to a gym for the last year now - seen an attractive girl in there ever since. However, I wasn't looking for anything as I was coming out of a situation at the time and was focusing on myself. There have been instances in the past where I should have noted something before, but the intensity has significantly increased since the beginning of the year (I was away for a month over Christmas).

I've noticed her appear to be more "intense" with her looks toward me, sneaking glances when she thinks I don't know or can't see her. She's used the mirrors to keep tabs, while she can often be around me (but that might be due to her training plan - she seems dedicated with it). It'll sometimes appear as if she's "looking for me" when I've seen her - scanning the gym to see where I am or just wanting to know where she can find me. However, if we're in close proximity, it appears she goes shy - finding it hard to look at me or maybe trying to divert her eyes. From a distance, I've seen her at the water fountain look back straight at me, despite so much else going on.

I think she's told others about me, as I get glances from people she seems close to - she is friendly with a coach where I go and I feel as though they know something I don't? I get looks from the coach, whether we're working out close to each other or if we're in different areas of the gym. Sometimes, it's like the coach is watching me closely - perhaps to report back? I can't be certain of this though but it's the vibe I get as I've seen them (and others she is close to) look in my direction when they've been talking.

She doesn't appear to be shy with people she knows ("gym bros"), but with me, I feel like there's a nervous tension - we've never even spoke and I've noticed she can look away if I look at her and "catch" her looking. I'm trying to be more approachable, but thinking I might have to make the approach first?

I'm useless at these things. I've had the disaster of picking up on signals that weren't allegedly there and got burned (hence joining the gym). I don't want a repeat, especially as we appear to go at the same time on a regular basis.

So, as the question states: "Is she dropping hints or am I reading into things?"

Any insight would be highly appreciated!

[flitzanu]

i think you're completely imagining all of this.  

there is no "hint" based on a person completely avoiding you.  she hasn't approached you or spoken to you or made any attempt to even learn your name.

in public people look at other people, that just happens randomly, and it sounds like you're creating this scenario that she is staring intensely at you when she may just be staring at the wall.

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, MeKnowNothing said:

"Is she dropping hints or am I reading into things?"

You are seriouously projecting, yes. 

I don't see any solid, objective sign that she is into you or trying to drop hints. 

[Sony12]

If anything she might be creeped out by you a bit. If you keep on saying you notice her look at you that just means you have been eyeing her on a consistent basis. She probably has noticed this and is weirded out a bit.

[smackie9]

Women go to the gym to workout, not get picked up. 

[JAYGURL89]

When I like a guy, I go shy also. I suddenly find it hard to make eye contact and start thinking about things I usually don't think about. Things such as how i walk, or where to place my hands or filling in the silence. I am outgoing and extroverted to a degree, so it looks so obvious when it happens. Even when I know a guy likes me back, it still happens. So you may be onto something. Why not ask the "coach" about her? Ask for her number and txt. I hate being asked out in from if people as I feel all eyes on me. I turned down 2 men who I really didn't want to say no to. It just blurted out as a knee-jerk reaction. I wish they had asked me or someone I know for my number or message me on social media to hive us with time to think of what to say. I have regrets about those guys every day. 

[Acacia98]

On 3/5/2025 at 8:09 PM, MeKnowNothing said:

So, as the question states: "Is she dropping hints or am I reading into things?"

You may be somebody who's really good at reading people, or you may have a vivid imagination. I can't tell which is the case because I don't know enough about you from your post.

Assuming it's the former, I wouldn't say she was dropping hints. I'd say she was attracted to you but, for whatever reason (maybe she's shy; maybe she's in a relationship), she wasn't being proactive about approaching you.

If I were in your shoes, I'd find an organic way to break the ice and introduce myself, get to know her better (if she was receptive to that) and then gauge whether she was single and actually wanted to pursue something. 

[Miss Chrysalis]

I'd be careful about taking her getting the coach looking in your direction as a good sign.  It's possible she's told the coach "this guy is always starting at me, can you just keep an eye on him because he freaks me out."  A woman seeming to be aware of where you are in proximity to her at all times isn't necessarily a compliment. 

[ExpatInItaly]

8 hours ago, Miss Chrysalis said:

I'd be careful about taking her getting the coach looking in your direction as a good sign.  It's possible she's told the coach "this guy is always starting at me, can you just keep an eye on him because he freaks me out."  

Yes, please be careful about assuming this a positive indicator, OP.