I need a man's perspective, why would a guy do this?

[Acacia98]

6 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

Hmmm.

Well, he did try to make plans with you multiple times, and you were busy with school. But here’s where things get messy: communication. If he was genuinely trying to see you, he could’ve followed up more clearly, especially when it came to locking down a time for Valentine’s Day. Instead, he left you hanging, and that’s not cool.

He’s told you how special your connection is, he’s introduced you to his friends (even if it’s just through food pics), and he’s been respectful of your boundaries. That’s all great. But here’s the thing: caring about someone isn’t enough if they can’t show up for you when it matters. And on Valentine’s Day? He didn’t show up—literally or emotionally. Getting intoxicated and blowing off your plans without so much as a heads-up is just plain inconsiderate. And his response afterward? Defensive, dismissive, and full of excuses. Not a good look.

Here’s the kicker: when you called him out, he didn’t apologize. Instead, he hit you with the classic “I’m a shitty person, you deserve better” line. Let’s be real—that’s not accountability. That’s him trying to make you feel bad for his actions. And then he doubled down by suggesting you “get bored easily” and “just want to have fun.” Ouch. That’s not just deflection—it’s manipulation. He’s trying to turn the tables and make you question yourself instead of owning up to his mistakes.

So, what’s going on in his head? Honestly, it sounds like he’s scared. Scared of the connection moving too fast, scared of long-distance, scared of not being enough for you. But instead of dealing with those fears in a mature way, he’s acting out—getting drunk, blowing off plans, and then deflecting when you call him on it. It’s not malicious, but it is immature. 

I like this analysis.