Older/mature men: What are your insecurities in dating?

[Miss Chrysalis]

If you're an older/mature man seeking actual connection (and not just validation from a hot 20/30 something flooding your inbox), what kinds of things do you worry about when considering a dating relationship? How does the age factor (both younger and older) impact your thoughts and insecurities or worries? 

I'm asking this from the perspective of a mature woman (but not a senior citizen) seeking to understand the thoughts and feelings of a male who is a lot older. 

[Gebidozo]

Well, as a 49 year old man dating a 31 year old woman, I’ve considered these questions a lot.

For my part, I mostly worry that I’ll be a burden to her. That if everything works well she’s going to watch me age and grow old much sooner than her. I’m also afraid of the inevitable sexual decline, which will happen to me much earlier than to her.

For a hypothetical younger partner, I’d worry a lot about lack of maturity and experience. My long-term ex was also a lot younger than me, she was indeed too young and, like all or almost all very young people, she didn’t really understand what she wanted. When she finally did, she discovered that it wasn’t me.

That’s why one of the things that makes me happy in my current relationship is that my partner is more mature and experienced than her age would normally indicate. We both have had wild pasts and we sort of arrived at the same mental destination at the same time, in spite of the age difference. We are no longer curious about mere exploration, we’re both looking for compatibility and connection and would rather be single than in a relationship where these are lacking.

Other things that would bother me in a hypothetical stereotypical younger partner are rushing into things, lovebombing, unrealistic expectations, excessive communication demands, jealousy, disrespect of my privacy, attempting to control me, pressure, emotional blackmail. My actual partner doesn’t do any of these things.

 

[Sony12]

I date older women and usually it's casual situations so neither of us have ideas of a long term relationship in mind. So not really that big of a deal. I just continue to try to stay fit so I continue to have the type of body many ladies like to have in a younger man (attractive face, trim body frame, nice stomach area.....etc.

[stillafool]

What is the age difference?

[smackie9]

Most mature/mature minded men I know prefer a mature woman for the long haul, because where they are at in life...kids grown up, looking forward to retiring with someone in the future and travel, already established financially, have more things in common.