Sugarspice25 Posted Monday at 02:10 AM Share Posted Monday at 02:10 AM (edited) So I hooked up with this guy twice now after 3rd date.We have great sexual chemistry and I like to be around him, I'm not sleeping with anyone else, and havent for a long time until I met him. So he messaged me flirty yesterday and I said I can come over Sunday, he says great that sounds fun. I told him to message me on Sunday to meet. He said sounds good. Sunday comes and he doesnt message me. Now I dont know what happened? I really wanted to hook up with him and he made it seem like he did too. Any advice? At this point I am detached from him but I do like just hooking up with him. Edited Monday at 05:42 AM by a LoveShack.org Moderator clarify title Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted Monday at 03:48 AM Share Posted Monday at 03:48 AM I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it probably means he has a low level of interest in you. Maybe he'll text you again when he has nothing else going on. You sound very overly eager about this guy, but don't chase him or come off as too eager and desperate. That isn't attractive. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarspice25 Posted Monday at 05:01 AM Author Share Posted Monday at 05:01 AM 1 hour ago, ShyViolet said: I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it probably means he has a low level of interest in you. Maybe he'll text you again when he has nothing else going on. You sound very overly eager about this guy, but don't chase him or come off as too eager and desperate. That isn't attractive. Hmm well it's just sex so why would he agree yesterday instead of saying he's busy?? And no I didn't text him and I never initiate first. So I'm still confused. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted Monday at 05:41 AM Share Posted Monday at 05:41 AM 37 minutes ago, Sugarspice25 said: Hmm well it's just sex so why would he agree yesterday instead of saying he's busy?? And no I didn't text him and I never initiate first. So I'm still confused. Perhaps his phone died, perhaps he's hungover, or something better came up and he didn't care enough about your time to let you know. We can't tell you why he didn't let you know, but lucky that you're not attached to him 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted Monday at 06:15 AM Share Posted Monday at 06:15 AM 1 hour ago, Sugarspice25 said: Hmm well it's just sex so why would he agree yesterday instead of saying he's busy? Maybe he was free at the time you mentioned it but then made other plans. Either way, I wouldn't be too interested in seeing this guy again. He's clearly not as into this as you are. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted Monday at 03:31 PM Share Posted Monday at 03:31 PM You told him you can come over on Sunday. Did he ask to see you on Saturday and that's why you said Sunday? Maybe he already hooked up with someone on Saturday night. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarspice25 Posted Monday at 03:37 PM Author Share Posted Monday at 03:37 PM 9 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Maybe he was free at the time you mentioned it but then made other plans. Either way, I wouldn't be too interested in seeing this guy again. He's clearly not as into this as you are. We follow each other on instagram. He checks out all my stories every time I post and initiates flirty talk. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarspice25 Posted Monday at 03:39 PM Author Share Posted Monday at 03:39 PM 6 minutes ago, stillafool said: You told him you can come over on Sunday. Did he ask to see you on Saturday and that's why you said Sunday? Maybe he already hooked up with someone on Saturday night. He didn't specify Saturday...just said: I want" so I told him I can Sunday. He agreed that it works for him. I mean we met twice before and always he asks me when I'm available...so he never bailed on me that's why I'm like huh? Anyway I'm just gonna stop watching his stories on instagram because we follow each other. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blueskies Posted Monday at 05:52 PM Share Posted Monday at 05:52 PM 2 hours ago, Sugarspice25 said: He didn't specify Saturday...just said: I want" so I told him I can Sunday. He agreed that it works for him. I mean we met twice before and always he asks me when I'm available...so he never bailed on me that's why I'm like huh? Anyway I'm just gonna stop watching his stories on instagram because we follow each other. Hopefully, there will be another opportunity for the two of you to connect. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted Monday at 07:14 PM Share Posted Monday at 07:14 PM 3 hours ago, Sugarspice25 said: We follow each other on instagram. He checks out all my stories every time I post and initiates flirty talk. So? This is not real interest. You need to get better at identifying what that looks like. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarspice25 Posted Monday at 07:51 PM Author Share Posted Monday at 07:51 PM 36 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: So? This is not real interest. You need to get better at identifying what that looks like. I'm just saying Quote Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted Monday at 07:53 PM Share Posted Monday at 07:53 PM Because he didn't want to. What else do you need to know? Maybe he moved on to someone new. Maybe he was hungover. Maybe his take on your chemistry is different than yours and he decided a hookup isn't what he's after right now. He's not your bf or even a guy you are dating. For someone who claims to be "detached," you are investing a lot of thought into this situation. Unpopular opinion: most women don't handle F-buddy situations well. Often, they are really wanting something more and hoping the guy will suddenly see her value and decide to make a gf out of her. In my time reading threads on this site, I've never seen it happen. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarspice25 Posted Monday at 07:56 PM Author Share Posted Monday at 07:56 PM 1 minute ago, introverted1 said: Because he didn't want to. What else do you need to know? Maybe he moved on to someone new. Maybe he was hungover. Maybe his take on your chemistry is different than yours and he decided a hookup isn't what he's after right now. He's not your bf or even a guy you are dating. For someone who claims to be "detached," you are investing a lot of thought into this situation. Unpopular opinion: most women don't handle F-buddy situations well. Often, they are really wanting something more and hoping the guy will suddenly see her value and decide to make a gf out of her. In my time reading threads on this site, I've never seen it happen. Hmm still to agree to meet me though? Why couldn't he say he's busy? This is not a f buddy since we've been on 3 dates and he's the one asking me out . Quote Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted Monday at 08:07 PM Share Posted Monday at 08:07 PM 3 minutes ago, Sugarspice25 said: Hmm still to agree to meet me though? Why couldn't he say he's busy? He agreed but didn't follow through. He knows you were willing so the only explanation is that he decided against it. We have no idea why; it could be any of the things I mentioned or something else altogether. Unless you have reason to think he was hit by a bus, the only logical explanation is that he did not want to hook up with you Sunday and couldn't be bothered to let you know. Quote This is not a f buddy since we've been on 3 dates and he's the one asking me out . It sounds like you instigated the hookup by saying you could come over on Sunday. That's an invitation (from you) to hook up, not an invitation (from him) for a date. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarspice25 Posted Monday at 08:24 PM Author Share Posted Monday at 08:24 PM 15 minutes ago, introverted1 said: He agreed but didn't follow through. He knows you were willing so the only explanation is that he decided against it. We have no idea why; it could be any of the things I mentioned or something else altogether. Unless you have reason to think he was hit by a bus, the only logical explanation is that he did not want to hook up with you Sunday and couldn't be bothered to let you know. It sounds like you instigated the hookup by saying you could come over on Sunday. That's an invitation (from you) to hook up, not an invitation (from him) for a date. So he's playing games wtlith me? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted Monday at 08:28 PM Share Posted Monday at 08:28 PM 3 minutes ago, Sugarspice25 said: So he's playing games wtlith me? Either he has lost interest or he is aware that you are far more invested than he is so he will circle back when it suits him. Is this really what you want in your life? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blueskies Posted Monday at 08:29 PM Share Posted Monday at 08:29 PM 13 minutes ago, introverted1 said: He agreed but didn't follow through. He knows you were willing so the only explanation is that he decided against it. We have no idea why; it could be any of the things I mentioned or something else altogether. Unless you have reason to think he was hit by a bus, the only logical explanation is that he did not want to hook up with you Sunday and couldn't be bothered to let you know. It sounds like you instigated the hookup by saying you could come over on Sunday. That's an invitation (from you) to hook up, not an invitation (from him) for a date. I don’t know about this ^…it seems to be a mutual situation 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted Monday at 08:34 PM Share Posted Monday at 08:34 PM 3 minutes ago, blueskies said: I don’t know about this ^…it seems to be a mutual situation 18 hours ago, Sugarspice25 said: So he messaged me flirty yesterday and I said I can come over Sunday, he says great that sounds fun. She's the one who moved from flirty messages to an offer to hookup. Nothing wrong with that if she is down for a casual f-buddy situation but it seems like she wants to actually date this guy. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarspice25 Posted Monday at 08:45 PM Author Share Posted Monday at 08:45 PM 15 minutes ago, blueskies said: I don’t know about this ^…it seems to be a mutual situation Exactly it is Mutal 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarspice25 Posted Monday at 08:46 PM Author Share Posted Monday at 08:46 PM 10 minutes ago, introverted1 said: She's the one who moved from flirty messages to an offer to hookup. Nothing wrong with that if she is down for a casual f-buddy situation but it seems like she wants to actually date this guy. No I didnt...we hooked up on pur 3rd date..after the date . Then he I initiated another hook up and now he sent me flirty messages that he wanted sex. How am I the one who suggested it? I agreed. I thought I was clear. So yes it's mutual. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarspice25 Posted Monday at 08:47 PM Author Share Posted Monday at 08:47 PM (edited) 13 minutes ago, introverted1 said: She's the one who moved from flirty messages to an offer to hookup. Nothing wrong with that if she is down for a casual f-buddy situation but it seems like she wants to actually date this guy. Where did you get that I was the one who initates the hook ups? He's the one I just agree hence this post and why I am confused...that's all. Edited Monday at 08:48 PM by Sugarspice25 Spelling Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blueskies Posted Monday at 08:54 PM Share Posted Monday at 08:54 PM 6 minutes ago, Sugarspice25 said: No I didnt...we hooked up on pur 3rd date..after the date . Then he I initiated another hook up and now he sent me flirty messages that he wanted sex. How am I the one who suggested it? I agreed. I thought I was clear. So yes it's mutual. He does seem to be pursuing her just as much if not more. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blueskies Posted Monday at 08:59 PM Share Posted Monday at 08:59 PM It seems that the OP just wants some opinions as to why HE is acting the way he is nothing more. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarspice25 Posted Monday at 09:00 PM Author Share Posted Monday at 09:00 PM Just now, blueskies said: It seems that the OP just wants some opinions as to why HE is acting the way he is nothing more. Thank you! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted Monday at 09:10 PM Share Posted Monday at 09:10 PM 2 minutes ago, blueskies said: It seems that the OP just wants some opinions as to why HE is acting the way he is nothing more. He's acting the way he is because his interest is lower than hers and he's not particularly well-mannered. Yes, he sent her messages asking for sex. Lots of women would be turned off by that coming from a guy they barely knew. But OP jumped at the opportunity and suggested a day when she would come over to have sex. For whatever reason, he changed his mind and didn't think it was important enough to tell her. She's now here spinning, because what she really wants is for this guy to properly date her, not call her for hookups he might not even be bothered to follow through on. You can posit all you like that their interactions have been mutual but I bet he isn't on a message board somewhere trying to figure her out. The only reason she is, is because she wants something more than a casual f-buddy situation. He is no doubt fully aware that she will continue to jump when he suggests sex, so he has no need to bother with common courtesy. OP, you don't have to tell us but at least be honest with yourself about what you are looking for. I don't this guy is it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.