I am beyond devastated...

[DepressedWaiting]

Owl, I see exactly what you are saying and I agree with you 100% without a doubt.

 

BUT my MM has never postponed it. WE have never set a deadline before. He has never delayed a deadline or surpassed it yet. In the first week of January he told me 3 months was a safe timeframe, that he would more than likely file within 3 months but it might take a while longer. I freaked out over this because that was not acceptable to me. That's why a few days later I flipped out and told his wife about the attorney and about him hiding assets and ruined it. He lost thousands of dollars in wasted attorney fees. He told me he would have filed for divorce within 4 months if I hadn't of done this... but waiting 4 months was not acceptable to me... I wanted to see action in LESS than 3 months.

 

That was the ONLY time he has ever sort of set a deadline. He has never given me a deadline and has never failed a deadline.

 

In two weeks he told me he will give me a definite deadline. I then told him that he is full it and that he will delay the deadline just like all these other married men so his decision means nothing to me I told him. He tells me that he will NOT delay nor surpass the deadline. That if he makes a decision he will stick to it and that he isn't into playing such games and that he is not going to do that.

 

I guess we will all see. Time will tell. To tell you the truth I say he will surpass the deadline and fail me. I don't have any signs indicating that he will surpass the deadline. The ONLY reason I think he will surpass the deadline and fail me is only because of all the experiences I constantly read about in this forum and elsewhere in regards to how these situations always unfold. The married man always delays the deadline.

 

I REFUSE and I mean REFUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to put up with that. Believe me. I will NOT end up like those women that I'm reading about here who put up with their married men making a deadline... and then delaying it over and over again.

 

The ANGER I will feel, wow the anger and outrage I will feel if he delays it even ONCE will be MAJOR. I will have no problem turning my back on him. If he doesn't want me and wants to start delaying things and playing me and stringing me along like some fool... in american languarge... he can go **** (you guys fill in the blanks) himself.

 

I just need to do it this way. I NEED him to fail the deadline at least ONCE. He has never failed a deadline yet... not once. I NEED to reach that point.

 

I will update you guys on what his decision is in two weeks. He actually had a meeting with some attorney last week. I think maybe this is a new attorney or something. I'm not sure I could be wrong. He just said he was in a meeting with his attorney. It could have just been his business attorney or whatnot. He won't tell me anything because he is scared to death that I will flip out and go balistic and pull another stunt again like I did that day I told his wife about him hiding assets and where he was hiding it. He says he doesn't trust me anymore after I screwed him over.

 

But yes, I say he will delay the deadline... only because of all the stories I read about here and elsewehere. So don't worry, I am prepared for the worst. I've already been through the worst and survived. Bring it on. Whatever happened that day at the warehouse chnaged me. I don't know what happened... but ever since then it made me stronger.

 

I really NEED him to fail that first deadline. I can hardly wait!

[whichwayisup]

Good luck. I guess only you know when to say ENOUGH. I thought you were at that point afew months ago, but I guess not. And that is okay...Whatever makes you happy is what counts. If you love this man, and it seems you do, then let it play out as it will. BUT, when that time comes and he doesn't follow through PLEASE stay strong and make yourself a promise ... Move on and let him go forever.

 

Concentrate on you and your career. Get that going because even IF he does leave his wife, it seems you two WILL need some counselling and learn how to deal with eachother without freaking out and having such high intense drama going on. That is an unhealthy pattern...Both of you are attracted to it, like a moth to light.

[Brianschick]

Even if he decides to bow out of counseling....do it anyway for you.

And...good luck and be well :

[DepressedWaiting]

Whichwayisup, yes I WILL get to that point if he fails his first deadline.

 

But actually, I've heard what you just said to me before by someone else... but neither of us like drama... not THIS kind. I HATE it and he definitely HATES it. He can't stand it. He has anxiety and cannot deal with stress. It literally makes him shake and have panic attacks (when we fight). He also has to watch his blood pressure. The last fight we had put him in the hospital with a nervous breakdown for two days. I'm really not attracted to drama and chaos like this in regards to this situation. It's this drawn out situation and pain... CONSTANT pain that has pushed me out of character and to behave out of whack from my usual self. It didn't use to be like this... only this past entire year since March 2005.

 

I mean, sure we have an odd relationship where I playfully torture him (its been like this for years)... like for example once I put some X-Lax in his tea because he would always steal my iced tea from my fridge. Then hours later he called me from the toilet in dispair. To this day he still doesn't know what gave him those runs and that I slipped him some X-Lax. My mother knows though. Then another time before he had to go to an important meeting with clients I glued a piece of paper on his back that said "I wax my butt"... he called an hour later REALLY upset. His clients pointed it out to him. I mean, that type of silly drama is fine and we do turtore each other back and forth like that and I get myself in trouble with him like that. BUT neither of us like the type of drama from this situation. NOWAY. This is a whole different story.

 

The only reason he has put up with me is... he says in his own words that even though nothing in his entire life has ever caused him more pain and misery and stress than I have to him... that he just can't be without me and HOPES I will change my way towards him once he files for divorce. He HOPES I will change my ways towards him. I will, it is this situation that is making me ill and fly off the handle. It has just gone on way too long.

 

I guess we will see. Time will tell

[whichwayisup]

I guess, (and don't take this the wrong way...) what I don't see is the happy stuff between you two. There has been SO much bad stuff, bad feelings, resentment and awful emotions for so long - I think it will be very hard for both of you to get to a loving place again. Which is why therapy HAS to happen if you two DO get together. The whole xx amount of months has been s***ty emotionally and I don't see how anybody could end a marriage, then pop into another relationship so fast.

 

I hope both of you learn how talk, listen and most of all, NOT cross the line. Treat eachother WITH respect, not screeching at eachother and saying horrible things you can't take back. It goes both ways too, so it isn't just you. His actions and what he does has made you react out in a not so good way.

 

Time will tell, you're right. And I wish you all the best, no matter what the outcome is.

[THX2000]

What you maybe need here is some tough love so here it is. YOU decided to get involved with a man that was married. YOU decided to continue the relationship. YOU took it up a notch by sticking your nose in his marriage and calling his wife. YOU chose to believe his lies. You weren't played by this guy - YOU played yourself by doing something you knew (and know) is wrong. Only YOU can put an end to your suffering by dumping this jackass and finding someone that respects you enough to make you number 1 in his life as opposed to his "piece on the side". If he was going to leave he would have already. Stop being such a broken record and get on with your life.

 

Harsh advice but the truth hurts darling.

[Blind Illusion]

Two things that stood out in my mind as I read your post.

 

1. I can't believe that you mentioned to the wife about the hidden assets. (I don't mean that in a mean way...it just surprised me.) I'm glad to see that however furious he was, he got over it.
   

2. You struck a chord in me about being at a certain point and having to be there. I can so appreciate that. Hope everything goes well for you. no matter what the outcome.

   
   

[Citizen Erased]

What you maybe need here is some tough love so here it is. YOU decided to get involved with a man that was married. YOU decided to continue the relationship. YOU took it up a notch by sticking your nose in his marriage and calling his wife. YOU chose to believe his lies. You weren't played by this guy - YOU played yourself by doing something you knew (and know) is wrong. Only YOU can put an end to your suffering by dumping this jackass and finding someone that respects you enough to make you number 1 in his life as opposed to his "piece on the side". If he was going to leave he would have already. Stop being such a broken record and get on with your life.

 

Harsh advice but the truth hurts darling.

 

Ouch. The claws are coming out today

[OldEurope]

If I call correctly the way he treated you at the warehouse, where you were practically on your knees begging him for acknowledgement...You continue to be delusional if you think that such behavior from him is acceptable in your "hindsight", I don't care what the business about the lawyer and his wife was.

 

The other thing is---you called him. He did not call you, and you will now never know if he would have initiated that call. A man deeply in love is going to take the initiative to rebuild the bridge to you. I am afraid he is hoping for more physical intimacy with you, where and how he might have it.

 

Breakdowns, humiliating "scenes", loss of respect, self-respect, anxious phone calls---this is not the foundation of a healthy relationship. I will be surprised what this "deadline" brings (and they bring nothing).

 

OE

[DepressedWaiting]

OldEurope, I don't think it's acceptable. In his mind I screwed him over and he told me that I deserved what I got that day and that I owe HIM an apology. He HONESTLY believes this and feels this way. He is screwed up. He says that I "threw him in front of a bus" in front of his wife and screwed him over. He says that's not the way to deal with this situation by causing unnecessary chaos at home and problems and that there are other ways to handle this without causing such chaos amongst everybody involved.

 

Then I told him in response that he should look in the mirror and say that to himself. In that case he shouldn't have cheated on his wife nor go and pursue me with while he was still married. He says I'm 100% right... but what's done is done. He can't take it back and we are now in this situation and I need to stay calm and stop going balistic.

 

When you say that I called him. I was actually already thinking that in the back of my mind and I did ask him if he would have ever called me again. He says of course he would have... he told me he was just waiting for things to cool down and that he can't be without me. Of course that's what he SAYS... I'll never know for 100% certain.

 

Oh well, no point in over analyzing everything. I'll see what his decision is in regards to his deadline about filing for divorce. He says he realizes this has gone on way too long and see's that months are just flying by and yesterday he told me he has been in denial over everything and that the articles I made him read have begun to sink in. I had him read many acrticles on how married men always delay divorce for it to never actually happen, how they never really leave their wives and use excuse after excuse e.t.c.... e.t.c...

 

I sat on his lap while he read all the acrticles and responses from therapists. After reading them he apologized and said he was sorry for what he has been doing with me and that things really need to change and that after reading all those articles it struck a cord.

 

Don't worry, I'll be back 3 months from now posting what garbage he really is and how he delayed the deadline... then I will be FREE. But I NEED to get to that point and give him that ONE chance. Leaving him before then is not realistic for me. I just need to do it my way.

[StrivingtoSucceed]

I’ve read your posts, I guess I just don’t understand why you would even consider being with someone who treats you like such crap. Why you are giving him yet another chance and yet another deadline. You say you treat him bad, even though you are trying not to anymore. But you haven’t really and truly accepted how he treats YOU, which is just as bad. Your posts basically say you have no respect for him b/c of the way he not only has lied to you and treated you (you were down on your knees begging him to acknowledge you ... in front of his wife ... and he kicked you to the curb, or in his own words, he put you under the bus), but how he treats his own wife.

 

I can completely understand that it is something that you have to do on your own terms ... it is sort of like an abused wife/husband (either physically or verbally) who leaves the marriage several times just to go back until they’ve reached their own point where they just can’t take it anymore. Everyone tells them they are crazy, but it won’t work until they realize they deserve better. In hindsight they wonder what in the world were they ever thinking and find that while the final leaving was the hardest thing they ever did in their life, it was also the best thing they ever did. I know from experience, so I’m not just shooting off at the mouth here ... I can understand having to do it on your own terms. I just don’t think you are thinking, or seeing straight at this point.

 

I look at your posts ... you were begging him like a dog ... and he just kicked you even more. He felt that you deserved to be treated that way b/c you had thrown him under the bus with his wife. And now you are giving him another chance to leave and be with you. Why would you want to be with someone that treats you SO BAD? Why do you accept that he treated you this way. And yes, you are accepting it regardless of what your words say ... your actions to him show him that you are accepting it. What is he going to do when you make him unhappy again?

 

Another question I think is also important is “why you would want to be with someone you don’t respect?” What is it that you are gaining and if, in fact, he does leave ... what type of relationship are you really going to have with this guy? Are you going to end up respecting him even less b/c he DID leave his wife/family? Or, are you going to end up respecting YOURSELF less b/c you are accepting someone totally not worth your time of day.

[Touche]

I didn't read all the responses so I don't know if anyone has pointed this out already but you said you are smashing the cake in his face and that he's not getting his cake and eating it too.

 

Are you still sleeping with him?

 

If the answer is yes, then he IS getting his cake. End of story.

 

Don't sleep with him until the deadline comes.

[StrivingtoSucceed]

I’m sorry - but another thing that just stands out to me ...

 

You said “We will also be going to see a therapist soon” in the same paragraph that you said “So in two weeks on St. Patrick's day he will tell me what his decision is in regards to filing for divorce and WHEN he will file for 100% sure.”

 

He is doing all this talking to you, but he is talking in circles. He is pacifying you ... we’ll go to see a therapist while at the same time he still needs yet MORE TIME to make a decision and then when he makes THAT decision he will be telling you how much MORE TIME it will take before HE makes it happen ... for SURE.

 

You deserve better, but again, understand that you have to realize that before you take the steps necessary to find better and leave this guy in the dirt where he belongs.

[DepressedWaiting]

Stivingtosuceed, we have both treated each other like dirt. You can't place all blame on me or him. This is it... this has gone on too long. I have abused him just as much. Noway, I am NOT having sex with him. I made it VERY VERY VERY clear that I am not having sex with him UNTIL he has FILED for divorce and I've been sticking to it. It is difficult because we are extremely attracted to each like you wouldn't believe and it's driving him crazy but I do NOT care. I told him if he so much as comes on to me he can forget I exist. I KNOW he's not using me for sex... it's a lot more than that. But the thought of him having sex with me during this situation... it makes me think he's having his cake and eating it too... makes me sick to my stomach. I feel like I have some form of power by denying him and keeping this one thing which he so desperately wants from me. I haven't had sex with him the last 3 visitis and I'm not going to.

 

No, he has two weeks to think things through and do whatever it is he needs to do in the meantime to get his thoughts and plan together and in two weeks he WILL tell me his decision as to what his deadline of filing for divorce is. He told me this has to be settled once and for all. It's gone on too long, it's ridiculous. He has to step it up a notch... in his own words.

 

I know he cares for me and wants me or else he wouldn't have put up with all this for so long. This affair isn't about him using me for sex. In most affairs the MM has an esacpe when he see's the OW and has a good time... but in this affair it's backwards. He has an escape when he goes home and has h*ll with me!

 

I don't want to post anymore until I hear his decision deadline on March 17th (St.Patrick's Day). He's out of town on business for the next week with a technician... when he gets back we will be sitting down and discussing his decision. He's really stressed out because he has social anxiety and has to do a business presentation in front of a conference room full of people so he is super stressed right now. I sort of have that too... my heart races and I panic if I ever have to talk in front of a room of people... so I understand how stressed he is. We'll see his decision when he gets back... and it WILL be a decision in regards to a deadline. THIS deadline decision will NOT be delayed.

[StrivingtoSucceed]

I understand it is both of you treating each other badly ... is that really the type of relationship you want for yourself? IMO no matter how good the intentions are of both parties involved, if a relationship starts off without respect for each other, it can’t develop. If there are problems within a relationship and both parties work at fixing them then it can work; however, you have to have a foundation in which to go from and it just seems like you two don’t have one. I may be wrong, but I haven’t seen any posts of yours talking about how great it was even in the beginning, only posts saying that from the beginning you didn’t have respect for him.

 

BTW - the sex question wasn’t mine .. While that may be an issue to other people, to me that is a moot point, I’m thinking more along the lines of what you deserve ... which is better than what you are getting. But, with that said I’m glad you are staying your ground on not giving in when he has done nothing to deserve that type of attention from you.

 

I’ll look forward to your posts in a few weeks and see how things pan out for you.

[Barby]

I know he cares for me and wants me or else he wouldn't have put up with all this for so long. This affair isn't about him using me for sex. In most affairs the MM has an esacpe when he see's the OW and has a good time... but in this affair it's backwards. He has an escape when he goes home and has h*ll with me!

 

Seriously then why would he leave his wife???? Why would a man want to leave a warm loving wife to be with someone who gives him hell? Destroys every effort he's made to insure he'll be okay financially if once he gives this vindictive "OW" what she wants (him leaving).

 

No offense intended but why would (after all you've done to him (from what YOU'VE said) leave his wife? This behavior sounds like someone who's sunken to a pathetic low, sabatoging any effort someone made to towards moving on from his marriage (maybe you were afraid you wouldn't be a part of his new life once he left his wife so you sabatoged him by telling her about his hidden assets...very vindictive)begging to be awknowledged once he's made it clear he doesn't want you......THEN calling him after he's clearly moved on and NOT called you.

 

WHY? Do you not think you can find anything better...or are you one who has to "win"??

 

With all that said......I hope you will find someone who won't bring out the worst in you, instead the loving nuturing side -vs- what's been brought out. You deserve that as well as deserving to be happy.

 

Just curious why ANYONE would go back especially after that self DEGRADING scene in the warehouse????

[DepressedWaiting]

The reason I told his wife about the attroney was because before ALL this happened his wife was saying that I am delousinal and that I am making everything up and that I am a liar and that she believes her husband over me.

 

BEFORE I went to the warehouse he called me on the phone. I got disconnected... I called back 15 mintues later... turns out his wife was with him by that time I called back. Over the phone I heard his wife say that I am delousional and making everything up and that I am stalking her husband... so he played along with that to save his rear. So out loud over the phone I said... "What about your attorney up north where you are hiding assets... are you saying that I'm lying about that too?". This is how his wife found out.

 

A lot of unpleasant things have happened between us due to this situation however that is nothing we cannot overcome. During the past 3 weeks we have actually made vast improvements and I am no longer giving him h*ll. It's this situation that has made everything ugly... I have not handled things properly on my end while at the same time neither has HE.

 

Before he was impossible to communicate with, now we have sat down and begun communicating and listening to each without it escalating into a huge fight and we have been making progress and mending our relationship to repair all the damage that has happened. I havne't handled the situation correctly and neither has HE. And we have had long conversations about everything that has happened and where we need to go from here.

 

But I just want to make one thing straight. I am not the one pursuing him. Yes, I did call him but I did not go after him. He wanted to come over and talk. He says he refuses to lose me and that he will file for divorce because nothing in this world makes him feel better than me... when I am pleasant towards him that is. He says that I am perfect for him and that I'm everything he's ever wanted... he just wants me to stay calm and please allow him a chance to prove me wrong without chaos and destroying the relationship beyond repair. So I am giving him that one chance, if he fails me then I have no problem kicking him to the curb anymore.

 

I've known this man for over 13+ years now. I know him better than I know myself almost. It is tough to come here and really portray everything between us and this situation because you are just seeng what I write... but not seeing me or him or the situation in reality. Tough to explain. I prefer not to talk any further about this until I hear his decision in two weeks when he gets back into town. It is draining me out trying to get others to really understand because some of the comments here are way off and it's draining me out to come here and try to explain otherwise.

 

Basically, I haven't handled the situation right, but neither has be which is why I wasn't handling it right and was reacting in a bad way out of pain. We had made great progress and I have changed my ways. And he is ready to seriously proceed again now that we have mended the relationship and I've changed my ways towards him. He is constantly thanking me now and greatful that I have changed my ways and that we are finally making progress in the right direction. I am no longer giving him the ability to place any blame on me... it's ALL on him now if he decides to string me along like a fool and use me.

 

Then I will be FREE to walk away. So he begs me to give him this chance without me treating him poorly... ok I'll give it to him. He actually got down on his hands and knees and begged me to please ease up on him because I am ruining the relationsip. Sothat is what I have done. It has made a difference. I will give him the chnace to set a deadline, if he delays the deadline or surpasses it then I will have 100% proof that he is SCUM and I will walk away. That's all I need and I can't wait.

[Barby]

The reason I told his wife about the attroney was because before ALL this happened his wife was saying that I am delousinal and that I am making everything up and that I am a liar and that she believes her husband over me.

 

BEFORE I went to the warehouse he called me on the phone. I got disconnected... I called back 15 mintues later... turns out his wife was with him by that time I called back. Over the phone I heard his wife say that I am delousional and making everything up and that I am stalking her husband... so he played along with that to save his rear. So out loud over the phone I said... "What about your attorney up north where you are hiding assets... are you saying that I'm lying about that too?". This is how his wife found out.

 

A lot of unpleasant things have happened between us due to this situation however that is nothing we cannot overcome. During the past 3 weeks we have actually made vast improvements and I am no longer giving him h*ll. It's this situation that has made everything ugly... I have not handled things properly on my end while at the same time neither has HE.

 

Before he was impossible to communicate with, now we have sat down and begun communicating and listening to each without it escalating into a huge fight and we have been making progress and mending our relationship to repair all the damage that has happened. I havne't handled the situation correctly and neither has HE. And we have had long conversations about everything that has happened and where we need to go from here.

 

But I just want to make one thing straight. I am not the one pursuing him. Yes, I did call him but I did not go after him. He wanted to come over and talk. He says he refuses to lose me and that he will file for divorce because nothing in this world makes him feel better than me... when I am pleasant towards him that is. He says that I am perfect for him and that I'm everything he's ever wanted... he just wants me to stay calm and please allow him a chance to prove me wrong without chaos and destroying the relationship beyond repair. So I am giving him that one chance, if he fails me then I have no problem kicking him to the curb anymore.

 

I've known this man for over 13+ years now. I know him better than I know myself almost. It is tough to come here and really portray everything between us and this situation because you are just seeng what I write... but not seeing me or him or the situation in reality. Tough to explain. I prefer not to talk any further about this until I hear his decision in two weeks when he gets back into town. It is draining me out trying to get others to really understand because some of the comments here are way off and it's draining me out to come here and try to explain otherwise.

 

Basically, I haven't handled the situation right, but neither has be which is why I wasn't handling it right and was reacting in a bad way out of pain. We had made great progress and I have changed my ways. And he is ready to seriously proceed again now that we have mended the relationship and I've changed my ways towards him. He is constantly thanking me now and greatful that I have changed my ways and that we are finally making progress in the right direction. I am no longer giving him the ability to place any blame on me... it's ALL on him now if he decides to string me along like a fool and use me.

 

Then I will be FREE to walk away. So he begs me to give him this chance without me treating him poorly... ok I'll give it to him. He actually got down on his hands and knees and begged me to please ease up on him because I am ruining the relationsip. Sothat is what I have done. It has made a difference. I will give him the chnace to set a deadline, if he delays the deadline or surpasses it then I will have 100% proof that he is SCUM and I will walk away. That's all I need and I can't wait.

 

Ok got it...

[DepressedWaiting]

Yeah right

 

Let me just keep my mouth shut and not discuss it any further until I hear his lovely little decision in two weeks... and then we'll go from there.

 

See what happens. Only time will tell. Should be interesting...

[Seen_It_All]

Do you really WANT a guy who has done nothing but lie to his wife, cheat on her constantly, plot behind her back to STEAL marital assets by hiding them through a laywer, and drive the poor woman INSANE with his constant gaslighting by telling her YOU'RE the stalker and YOU'RE the one chasing HIM?

 

Where is the honor in ANY of that repulsive behavior?

 

I don't care how badly you've treated him - this question pertains to HIS lousy treatment toward his WIFE, not your treatment toward him. If he'll do that to someone he supposedly loved and vowed his love and fidelity to when he married her, then how can you possibly even BEGIN to respect this creep? He's done NOTHING but screw everyone in his path.

 

What the hell is wrong with this guy?

 

For your sake, I PRAY he comes back with a "no" in 2 weeks. Because what this poor woman is going through - at the hands of this intolerable mutant - is where YOU'LL be about 5 years from now. MARK MY WORDS.

[erika2610]

Read your post from way back. Do you really want to go through that all over again?

[DepressedWaiting]

I read Seen_It_All's post... I actually agree with everything being said. I think that post was right on. I absolutely agree. No I don't want to go through all that again and I won't. Believe me I will not. My birthday is tomorrow.. I will be turning 26 years old. Wow time flies by. I REFUSE to be involved in this garbage any longer. I deserve more than this and NO man is worth all this BS.

 

I'm going to copy/paste that response and show it to him by printing it out. Because what you wrote is EXACTLY who he is and what he is doing. When I had him read all those artciles about affairs and being involved with a married man.. it really did strike a cord in him and he says the articles really sank in. I think it helps for him to actually phsyically READ about what he is doing.

 

The problem is that... yes I know all of this. BUT, it's difficult because I have this TINY and I mean TINY hope inside me that he just might prove me wrong. MANY married men... even if it's only maybe 10% (that's a lot of men) do end up divorcing when involved in long lasting (even messy) affairs. But I NEED to get to that point. The point where he gives me a deadline and fails that deadline just ONCE for the first time. This has never happened yet. That is what I NEED to be able to walk away. I'm no longer pushing him over the edge with my "behavior" towards him so he will not be able to place blame on me for ANYTHING.

[MsColorado]

First time poster but I've been lurking for awhile...

 

I just have to ask you what the attraction is to a devious wimp that would hide assets from his wife and children? That is beyond despicable. I mean isn't it bad enough the man has lied and cheated on the woman he professed to love and honor for the rest of his life but now he is actually trying to hide money from her - so that if he does divorce her (highly doubtful) she won't have the money that she deserves to raise her children and help herself? Gawd, isn't this a lot of work you're going through for such a rat? Wouldn't it be easier to give him the heave ho and find yourself a single man with honorable intentions? And even if there are none available right now - wouldn't you just rather be alone and living an honest, decent life than waiting for that clown? You're only in your twenties, go out and have fun and live clean with a clear conscience and a pure soul.

[DepressedWaiting]

They don't have kids. He can't have kids. In other words he shoots blanks

 

I don't blame him for taking care of assets before filing for divorce. He was also following all of his attorney's instructions. Many men and women do this before divorce. I would do the same. I wouldn't be surprised if his wife is doing the same right now.

 

But they don't have kids, there are no kids involved. They have been married about 4 years which is considered a short term marriage.

 

But don't worry, his wife would receive a very healthy chunk of his assets either way regardless of what he does with his assets.

 

EDIT: Actually his wife has threatened to take him for every cent he has (she actually did this to her first husband she divorced)... more power to her if she manages to do that. I wouldn't mind seeing her take evey dime he's got. I WISH I could help her do it!

[whichwayisup]

EDIT: Actually his wife has threatened to take him for every cent he has (she actually did this to her first husband she divorced)... more power to her if she manages to do that. I wouldn't mind seeing her take evey dime he's got. I WISH I could help her do it!

 

DW, I mean no offence when I say this, but if you feel that way about him, you want her to take him to the cleaners, WHY on earth are you waiting for a man who I think you're really starting to resent and HATE? I could see you feeling that way if he ended his marriage and then told you goodbye, he would rather be alone, but right now you're waiting to see if you two actually have a future together if he does follow through on the divorce.

 

I still think you need to do no contact and let him find you when it's over and done with. This is just very unhealthy for you. Focus that energy into your work.