Lil Honey Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 Fubard: I really can't put into words how I feel, I can't justify how I feel, and why I feel this way . . . I could sit here all day typing out paragraphs and paragraphs of stuff that will be so easily dismissed . . . No one is dismissing what you are saying. The thing is, you don't have to justify how you feel, etc. We are putting energy into your post because each of us has been 16 - no 17 (Happy Birthday) - and we know how you are feeling. I was in love when I was your age, too. Everything I have ever done in life, I have gone about it the wrong way. That's not supposed to make me sound like some sort of hero, more.... an idiot. Life - everyone's - and not just teen years, are riddled with "mistakes," but wasn't it Einstein or Franklin who said something to the effect that mistakes are learning experiences. They are the ways how not to do something the next time. We ALL make mistakes and many of us don't stop making mistakes as we get older, we just make different ones. All you EVER done in life? ? ? ? You are 17. When I was 17, I thought 35 was old. Now, I'm 45. Now I think 35 is young. It's all a matter of perspective. YOU, my friend, are NOT an idiot. You are young, impressionable, and a loving, caring person. I don't see anything wrong with any of that. But in trying to make things work between me and her.... that is something I am definitely NOT going to do the wrong way. Some things are out of your "control." You don't have any say in how she feels. And this is where our advice comes from. We are simply telling you to slow down and protect your heart. We say this from experience, because a broken heart DOES hurt and you may not be able to avoid it. about the whole family thing.... it's nothing. I've got a great family. The only reason I would leave is because I hate this place and I suck at school. And maybe.... if I progress with this whole situation, that would be another reason to leave. But right now that doesn't apply. The whole running away thing and the whole me hating this town thing.... not so important for me right now, but if I ever need to talk about it I'll no where to come! It IS important. How you feel without this girl (before she came along) is important to how you handle your whole life - and how you handle relationships. Running away won't change who you are inside. But you can PLAN for changes that will make you happy. If you aren't doing well in school, I think you should put more effort into improving than spending time with a girl who is online. (That's just my opinion and I'm only voicing it because I feel that it's important.) Stupid, right? Well the only way I am going to find that out is by crashing and burning, nobody can tell me it's stupid and expect me to take their word for it and give up the one thing in my life I've ever been sure about Nobody IS telling you that it's stupid. We can post our thoughts and you can take them or leave them. That's your choice, but you DID ask. Anyway, some folks can watch others and learn what not to do. There are other folks (my daughter is one of them) that have to learn from the School of Hard Knocks. I know none of you believe this could ever work out for me, but please forgive me if I do. We just don't think the odds are stacked in your favor. We know from experience. You, OTOH, believe it because you are 17. because some of you may doubt the authenticity of my love for her Not fair. There isn't one post that said that you weren't honest with your feelings. We just are trying to get you to slow down, look objectively and, like I said before, protect your heart. I'll just keep praying every night and every day for the guidance I need, that's the best advice anybody can have. That's what we are trying to give. You might pray for guidance, but I will hope that you listen to a fraction of the guidance you get, rather than dismiss it. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 but I know what I feel everytime I'm talking to her, and it's something I've never felt before. It's like the feeling you get at the top of a roller-coaster, the very top, right after the last upward climb and right before the last fall.... that feeling of uncontrolable bubblyness and anticipation of what lies ahead. And it's a ****ing amazing feeling, one I am not ready to give up on just because some of you may doubt the authenticity of my love for her. Oh sweetie, no one doubts the authenticity of your feeling. I wrote, almost VERBATIM, what you wrote, about my first love when I was 19. But there's something about having been in several longterm, live-in relationships that has changed my understanding of love. I no longer call what you call love, I call it lust, or puppylove, or "that time before you see their face so much that it makes you sick." It's not a race, it's an endurance competition. Because you haven't had your heart broken SO many times, yet, you still have that blessed, beautiful optimism of the untried youth. It was a wonderful place to be. I wish I could still claim that, but too many times around the block have fundamentally altered my experience of love. Write about it, sing about it, this is the time to cherish. And please don't get all crazy and desperate if it doesn't turn out the way you expect - and that doesn't mean you don't get the girl. Maybe you do, and go to the same college, and you suddenly realize that girls take dumps and have stinky socks, too... My exBF said he didn't actually physically encounter a girl taking a dump until he was 17... At 35 he was still famous for being uncomfortable with bathroom noises from women. hah. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FUBARd Posted January 12, 2006 Author Share Posted January 12, 2006 Look, everybody.... I'm sorry. Sorry for twisting your words or whatever it was I did, I know none of you dismissed what I said, I just needed to vent. When I first posted on these forums about this, I was told I wasn't in love with her, and that it was never going to work out. When I had such a crap day 2 weeks ago that I wouldn't talk to anybody and eventually my brother made me tell him what was wrong, I was told I wasn't in love with her, and that it was never going to work out. It hurts like hell to be told that, especially by your own brother. It hurts to be told that your feelings are lying to you, and that something you are so sure about can be so wrong. But I said it that night to my brother, and I will probably need to say it again sometime.... "I'll hold you to that, and I'll let you know when it works out". I really can't explain why I am so sure about this, and even if I could, my reasons would probably seem ridiculous. But please just trust me that I am. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 Hey I said the same thing when I got married to my exHusband. The operative word being '"ex" haha. Good luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 I really can't explain why I am so sure about this, and even if I could, my reasons would probably seem ridiculous. But please just trust me that I am. No need to explain. I trust that your feelings are "real." I was in your shoes at your age. I was so very sure - and my guy wasn't. *shrugging* As it turns out, fate was looking down on me, because he turned out to be . . . well . . . we'll say "not my type." As Blind Otter said, Good Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 Hahaha. Between the ages of 17 to 21 I went from straight to lesbian to straight. Wheeeeee. I blame it on the fact that the human brain doesn't finish maturing until the mid-20s, namely the areas that govern rational thought and decision-making. Ironically I didn't know this until I took physiological psychology when I was like 21, halfway through my crazy drug binge. Years later I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. Even the sh*tstorms. Gawd, I am glad that I don't have to be a teenager any more. Best years of my life, my big round booty. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FUBARd Posted January 12, 2006 Author Share Posted January 12, 2006 Ah that was nice.... she wrote me a cool birthday note, and drew me some pictures.... just really nice! I know from the way she talks to me that it's just friendliness, but that's great, it's something to build on. Hopefully someday I'll meet her and if we hit it off as well in real life as we do online then it'll be.... perfect! Lil Honey: that dog in your avatar is so cool! Is he/she yours? Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted January 12, 2006 Share Posted January 12, 2006 No, the puppy isn't mine. I had one that looked a lot like my av and she died from what was suspected as a blood problem but remains unknown. I'll have to post the email that the picture came with. It's memorable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FUBARd Posted January 15, 2006 Author Share Posted January 15, 2006 Update.... coz.... I'm confused. Surprise, surprise. So the last few days.... well, I'd like to think I'm making progress, but I really don't know. It just seems like I can't be happy in my own mind. Every now and then it hits me that I simply can't compete with the people who get to meet her every day, no matter what I do. Really.... I don't think there's much more I can do on the forums. I have to meet her.... We're still getting along unbelievably well, it's like we never run out of things to talk about. When we talk to one another on the forums and in PMs, she's all hugs and kisses (emoticons). The other day I gave her a link to a music video of her favourite song. She thanked me and said "I love you!!!" (except with a little heart thingy where it says "love"). I know she was only joking, but I told her I love her too. I don't really know.... I never thought it was possible for one person too be so confused, but I really am. I just don't know what to do and it's killing me. Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted January 16, 2006 Share Posted January 16, 2006 Enjoy your time with her, but don't get giddy and over-analyze everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Bobby_w771 Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Really , you need to tell her how you feel!!! Even if she does or doesn't feel the same way, then you won't have all this strress on your shoulders so tell her man it's what you gotta do Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts