Guy101 Posted March 17 Share Posted March 17 I have been dating this lady now for almost 3 1/2 months. Its been a long process getting to the point of feeling like she is 100% into me. The early stages was limited communication (on her part) and never really knowing where I stood, but I kept my communication rate/style equal to hers. For the past month we have spent 1-2 nights a week together, depending on what we have going on. We are suppose to be exclusive. We text throughout the day, limited since we both work, but when we have time we will send each other text. Anyway, this morning we were texting back and forth a few times and no questions were asked by either of us, just statements about our morning etc. She sent a text back and said "No just got several things going on this morning". I text back with question marks wondering what she mean 't by that. She replied back and said she was she was just saying she was having a busy morning. I told her it sounded like it was an answer to a question and I didn't ask her any question. She got defensive, not in an ugly way, but questioned who do I think she would be talking to other than me. She seemed to get overly loving and sweet after the confrontation, way more than she does on average. Says she talks to no other guys...etc, etc. When im with her I feel like I get 100% from here. When we aren't together sometimes I feel like she has some mystery around her as far as lack of communication. I don't like playing games in relationships and having any lingering doubts where I stand nor do I do that to anyone. The "No" at the beginning of her text is what throughs me off and she has been very quick to overlook that. Im not sure what im asking here, I guess with the text that she sent, does that sound like something mean' t for someone else or am I over analyzing things? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 17 Share Posted March 17 She could have been talking to a friend, or her mom or a coworker. Nothing in that text had any romantic content. When you start in on her like that over a text, then you have some doubtful thoughts about this girl right pretty much from the start. You sound paranoid. All I can say is this...if it doesn't feel right, then it's not. you can wait it out and see...maybe it's nothing, maybe you are being played...that's up to you. I would jump ship. A relationship shouldn't be a mental struggle...have a think. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Guy101 Posted March 17 Author Share Posted March 17 19 minutes ago, smackie9 said: She could have been talking to a friend, or her mom or a coworker. Nothing in that text had any romantic content. When you start in on her like that over a text, then you have some doubtful thoughts about this girl right pretty much from the start. You sound paranoid. All I can say is this...if it doesn't feel right, then it's not. you can wait it out and see...maybe it's nothing, maybe you are being played...that's up to you. I would jump ship. A relationship shouldn't be a mental struggle...have a think. Had it been a friend or family member then she would have said so.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 17 Share Posted March 17 13 minutes ago, Guy101 said: Had it been a friend or family member then she would have said so.... Just break up with her if you don't trust her. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 17 Share Posted March 17 That text from my partner would not have bothered me in the slightest. You have issues related to trust with this woman so you either need to have an honest discussion with her to resolve those issues or break up. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted March 17 Share Posted March 17 (edited) Her text definitely didn't make sense, and it does suggest she was having a conversation with someone else. If it was a friend or family member I don't know why she wouldn't just come out and say that. Which suggests she is not being honest. You seem to have a gut feeling that something has always been off with her. I think this is a situation where you should trust your gut. Edited March 17 by ShyViolet Link to post Share on other sites
Author Guy101 Posted March 17 Author Share Posted March 17 (edited) 28 minutes ago, BaileyB said: That text from my partner would not have bothered me in the slightest. You have issues related to trust with this woman so you either need to have an honest discussion with her to resolve those issues or break up. The actual words in the text did not bother me as there was nothing romantic or sexual in the text. Its that it didn't make sense....it was worded as an answer to a question... and I didn't ask her any questions. And she got overly affectionate (way more than I have ever seen) when she started getting the feeling I wasn't easily overly looking it. And I don't feel its trust issues when one of the couples do not make sense in what they are doing or saying. Edited March 17 by Guy101 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Guy101 Posted March 17 Author Share Posted March 17 (edited) 36 minutes ago, ShyViolet said: Her text definitely didn't make sense, and it does suggest she was having a conversation with someone else. If it was a friend or family member I don't know why she wouldn't just come out and say that. Which suggests she is not being honest. You seem to have a gut feeling that something has always been off with her. I think this is a situation where you should trust your gut. I do agree with everything you say here. I don't think all dating people are always 100% honest about every small detail and maybe this is some guy who text that she might have went out on a date with before me and she just doesn't want to be mean....I don't know. I do know how I would reply had it been a past girl I dated, I would have told her I was seeing someone and best not to communicate anymore. I do trust my gut and feel the text was intended for someone other than me, Im just not wanting to end a relationship over a text that ultimately did not have anything bad within it....just the question of who the text was intended for. Edited March 17 by Guy101 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted March 18 Share Posted March 18 8 hours ago, Guy101 said: I do trust my gut and feel the text was intended for someone other than me, Im just not wanting to end a relationship over a text that ultimately did not have anything bad within it....just the question of who the text was intended for. I do agree, I think ending the relationship over this would be an overreaction. But I would just suggest you keep your eyes open for any other weird behavior in the future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 18 Share Posted March 18 OP, I read your past thread about this woman. I have to wonder why you continued to date her when you have always doubted her interest in you. Are you really enjoying this relationship? Because it sounds to me like you're often on edge and skepetical and don't feel she is that into you. I personally would not be interested in dating someone who I've consistently doubted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted March 18 Share Posted March 18 Hi, I’ll tell you what I think. Your attitude comes off as pretty passive, and it’s hard to understand why you're not taking control of the situation. You just seem to go along with whatever she says. I also took a look at your January thread, and what stands out is that you’ve been really passive with this woman. Just because she doesn’t ask you anything when she texts you doesn’t mean you can’t ask her anything. The message you read just shows that other people are asking her questions. Asking her questions without being pushy is a way to show you’re interested. Otherwise, it’s just one-way messages that don’t go anywhere, not a real conversation. Then, in the other thread, I read that she kept her weekends free for weeks for other things, but never to hang out with you. That’s the first red flag. If she can only hang out with you during the weekdays, you should ask yourself why. This isn’t some sixth sense thing, it’s just simple logic. Volunteering on a Saturday night for work? What kind of work is that? And then the next Saturday, there’s another excuse. What about Fridays? Sundays? Come on, there’s no way she’s just disappearing like that. Also, even if she’s at an event, you could still talk on the phone. If she’s got a no-call rule for the whole weekend, that’s a sure sign she’s seeing someone else or potentially others. Yeah, the message you mentioned seems like a response to something. I’ve had the same thing happen when I was texting my man, where I sent him a message meant for a friend by accident. I deleted it and explained it wasn’t for him. He obviously asked whom I was chatting with. She, on the other hand, chose to pretend like it didn’t happen. That would raise a red flag for me too. Is there a chance the message was really for you? Sure. But I think it’s more likely it was for someone else. In short, if you both agreed to be in an exclusive relationship, you should be able to call her when she’s not working, without needing to ask for permission first. If she’s busy, like ‘I’m at the movies with my kids’ or ‘I’m at a birthday party,’ then you can respect that and leave her alone. Finally, not every woman wants an alpha male, but for sure most prefer a go-getter, not someone sitting back to see what happens. Like when you started dating her and were waiting for her to make the first move. You wrote: "I was expecting a kiss". Come on. There are guys out there who know how to make a move. She chose to keep dating you, but I'm not sure she wants you for the long term. Is being passive really your nature or are you keeping yourself from doing anything in fear she won't like that? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 19 Share Posted March 19 On 3/17/2025 at 10:44 AM, Guy101 said: Had it been a friend or family member then she would have said so.... Well then if this is your conclusion (she's cheating), stop seeing her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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