Woggle Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 I am not trying to knock women with real concerns but what is so bad about looking at porn. It doesn't mean that he is cheating or that you are not good enough for him but sometimes men just have a need to look at nude women. Think of it the same way you would think of a vibrator. It doesn't mean he isn't pleasing you but sometimes you need your own device. That is the way it is with men and porn. Sometimes it is a group activity. Strip clubs are just a way for men to get together and share good times. Now if he is going every week, spending a fortune on it or looking at porn all the time you have every to be angry but if it is just going out once in a while with friends or a couple playboy mags or going on a website I would not sweat it. As long as he looks and doesn't touch.
alphamale Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Think of it the same way you would think of a vibrator. I would actually use "chocolate" instead of a "vibrator" for the analogy.
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 1. I am not trying to knock women with real concerns but what is so bad about looking at porn. 2. It doesn't mean that he is cheating or that you are not good enough for him but sometimes men just have a need to look at nude women. 3. Think of it the same way you would think of a vibrator. It doesn't mean he isn't pleasing you but sometimes you need your own device. 4. Strip clubs are just a way for men to get together and share good times. 5. Now if he is going every week, spending a fortune on it or looking at porn all the time you have every to be angry but if it is just going out once in a while with friends or a couple playboy mags or going on a website I would not sweat it. As long as he looks and doesn't touch. 1. I don't have a problem with looking at porn, but I can see how someone would have a problem with it if porn substituted the IRL sex. That would be bad news. 2. Agreed, but some women really do see that as cheating though. They want a man to be faithful 100%, even to the extent that he narrows down his entire fantasy/erotic mind down to one person (which I don't think is biochemically/biologically possible, actually - the brain operates sometimes independently of intent). I wonder where that idea came from (not monogamy, but the idea that even having a fantasy or a random thought about someone else is 'cheating')- do women (or men) learn that through societal programming, or is it wired into some people on a biochemical/biological level? A monogamy gene, maybe? Basic insecurity? A mix of both? Who knows. I can understand wanting fidelity in a partner, but I don't understand the demand that it extend to private fantasies and thoughts as well. It would make a fascinating study. The brain is a funny ol' thing, eh? 3. Thats how I see it: an enhancement without being a substitution. 4. I go to them also occasionally with friends, and understand exactly what you mean. Its more entertainment than it is sex. 5. I also understand this too. When the fantasy substitutes for the real thing on a consistent basis, the relationship is doomed IMO.
alphamale Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Agreed, but some women really do see that as cheating though. They want a man to be faithful 100%, even to the extent that he narrows down his entire fantasy/erotic mind down to one person so then LCB, do you think men should ask that their women stop reading romance novels and whatching daytime and nighttime soaps on TV? could not that be construed as emotional cheating?
lindya Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 so then LCB, do you think men should ask that their women stop reading romance novels and whatching daytime and nighttime soaps on TV? could not that be construed as emotional cheating? Bit unfair to ask someone to argue in favour of a perspective that they don't personally subscribe to.
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Bit unfair to ask someone to argue in favour of a perspective that they don't personally subscribe to. Ain't that the truth! I can play devil's advocate sometimes, but it would be hard for me to argue in favor of having fantasies as being cheating. so then LCB, do you think men should ask that their women stop reading romance novels and whatching daytime and nighttime soaps on TV? could not that be construed as emotional cheating? Who, me? I didn't count myself among the women who think that way, so of course I wouldn't see that as emotional cheating or even suggest that someone be asked to disengage from fantasy or enjoyable pasttimes. Perhaps I wasn't clear. 1
helena abadi Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 that's a really interesting point, alphamale. should women stop reading and watching their romance/soap opera fantasies? especially as romance novels these days contain such graphic descriptions of sex, it's really like reading rather than watching porn. and soap operas are about everybody bonking everybody, with all the morals of alleycats. is it emotional cheating? nah. it's just brain candy. men and women continue to have fantasies, even if they're in monogamous relationships. it's normal. i don't understand people who demand that their partner's fantasies be narrowed down. that's scary. and LB is right, biologically impossible. mind control would be a dangerous thing. as for men watching porn, strippers etc, well, a little isn't threatening, but regular would bother me. porn and strippers are so in your face, excuse the phrase. soap operas and romance novels have a frilly veneer that make them seem less threatening. that may sound pathetic, but there it is.
alphamale Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 soap operas and romance novels have a frilly veneer that make them seem less threatening. that may sound pathetic, but there it is. they may have a "frilly veneer" but they still assist with women's mental/emotional masturbation...
SmoochieFace Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 ...sometimes men just have a need to look at nude women. If I want to look at a naked woman I'll look at my GF. I neither need nor want to look at other women naked. And let's not forget that, unless I'm watching lesbo porn, there will be naked guys in there and I sure as *beep* do not want to see that! As far as strip clubs... I've never been to one and I have no plans on going to any. If I want good times I can jump in my car or on my Harley and go cruisin'. That works for me. Of course... being with the GF works well too!
Jey Dey Dey Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Soap operas, novels etc are just brain candy. Looking at porn, watching a movie once in a while is fine, hell I'll watch with him. Girls look at porn too, just to look, the act of sex, the graphic images that get the juices going. Strip clubs once in a while are ok. I used to freak out when he went for a bachelor party but than I went with my girlfriens, had some beers, played some pool, talked to all the strippers, told them to the pole and out of the clubs we went to that night only one, 40ish, good looking woman could do it. NJ strippers suck, you're a stripper, shouldn't the pole be a requirement? Anyways. Once I saw for myself it wasn't that bad, and I kinda felt bad for the girls, I watched them walk up to guys, smile, than step back, wiggle their behing, bend over forward to show their chest, than step up and take their dollar bill. That sucked. I kept watching the guys too, it was funny, they felt like pervs. HAHAHAH. We had fun, we were screaming, woooohoooo when ever one of them started dancing. Oh and I got a lap dance. She made me put my hands on her which I thought was weird, I thought you're not suppose to touch. I didn't like that if he was doing it. What a waste of a $20 The thing with strip clubs is that you're drinking and in most strip clubs you can back into a room and get a blow job, or actual sex. That is what makes it different from porn, books, vibrators and everything else. Even if you know your man, once he has drinks in him and his buddies are telling him to go for it, you can't control it and he isn't really in control. You have to know your man, and his friends, the type of personalities they have.
chrissy123 Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 Now I do not have a problem with porn, but I have a huge probleem with strip clubs. Lap dances are cheating and borderline prostitution IMO. Now I know that comment will make alot of you angry, but a lap dance is exchanging money for sexual pleasure.... so how am I wrong. 4. Strip clubs are just a way for men to get together and share good times. Well he can go shoot pool, go see a movie, or go to a sports game for this no need to go to a strip club. Bascially my problem with strip clubs is the naked women grinding their naked parts onto my bf. Even if they don't ask for it the girls come ove and sit in their laps(naked) and try to talk them into a lap dance.
cygny Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 I am not trying to knock women with real concerns but what is so bad about looking at porn. It doesn't mean that he is cheating or that you are not good enough for him but sometimes men just have a need to look at nude women. Think of it the same way you would think of a vibrator. It doesn't mean he isn't pleasing you but sometimes you need your own device. That is the way it is with men and porn. Sometimes it is a group activity. Strip clubs are just a way for men to get together and share good times. Now if he is going every week, spending a fortune on it or looking at porn all the time you have every to be angry but if it is just going out once in a while with friends or a couple playboy mags or going on a website I would not sweat it. As long as he looks and doesn't touch. some porn, especially if viewed as a couple, is not always bad. but if you want to know why it bothers some women, just imagine your girlfriend in secret slobbering over a stack of magazines and DVDs of young handsome studs masturbating with really big d*cks and lusts for them when she's doing it with you and your more modest endowment. and how you'd feel if she really liked to go see some studs stripping off and grinding in the flesh along with her drunk, cheatin' girlfriends and the dudes who are gigolos want to take her in the back room and dryhump her and you know she has a weakness for saying yes and strong urges to go all the way. oh yes, and she just has a need to see naked men, other good-looking ones, besides you and your hairy *ss. if that wouldn't bother you at all...come on, is this even a real question? go ahead, read some romance novels, like 'english patient'--i bet she wouldn't mind that at all. in fact, she'd think it was great that you were being so romantic and hoping that it will give you some ideas.
whichwayisup Posted January 11, 2006 Posted January 11, 2006 If it makes your spouse feel bad and hurts them, or interfers in the relationship, then porn/strip clubs are not cool. If both parties are comfy with it and understand that it is JUST fun, no harm intended then it's okay. To be honest, if my husband decided on a weekly basis he was going to go to stripclub, I would question his motives of why he felt the need to go. If it is a once in a while thing with the boys, OK...Just for fun. Porn is porn and as long as it's controlled, not ruining the relationship, then it's okay. If someone beats off to porn instead of having sex with their spouse, obviously there's something wrong. Each situation is different and people's views on it are different. What is right to you, may be fine with someone else, and viceversa.
Author Woggle Posted January 12, 2006 Author Posted January 12, 2006 I find that the more secure a woman is within herself the more secure she is with porn and strip clubs,
littlekitty Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 I'm fine with the porn...! In fact my SO has to check out porn sites as part of his job.... wonder why he likes work so much?!! I like porn and use porn... why the hell shouldn't he..!! Stip clubs don't really bother me either. Provided it's not an overly regular thing!! I've been, had lap dances. He's been, had lap dances. We're going to go together sometime...! I'm confident that he gets a darn site more from me than he does from the ladies on the pages, or the ones wiggling thier arse in his face!!
helena abadi Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 some porn, especially if viewed as a couple, is not always bad. but if you want to know why it bothers some women, just imagine your girlfriend in secret slobbering over a stack of magazines and DVDs of young handsome studs masturbating with really big d*cks and lusts for them when she's doing it with you and your more modest endowment. and how you'd feel if she really liked to go see some studs stripping off and grinding in the flesh along with her drunk, cheatin' girlfriends and the dudes who are gigolos want to take her in the back room and dryhump her and you know she has a weakness for saying yes and strong urges to go all the way. oh yes, and she just has a need to see naked men, other good-looking ones, besides you and your hairy *ss. if that wouldn't bother you at all...come on, is this even a real question? go ahead, read some romance novels, like 'english patient'--i bet she wouldn't mind that at all. in fact, she'd think it was great that you were being so romantic and hoping that it will give you some ideas. oh yuk, now that you have described the way too graphic reality, i think even a little would bother me. my vote goes for The English Patient. what a book, what a movie. what about literature - bodice-ripper romance novels et al - that reads like porn? is it only the visual stuff that bothers people?
cygny Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 I find that the more secure a woman is within herself the more secure she is with porn and strip clubs, haha yeah i heard that line before too. here's one from the other side. I find that the more secure a man is within himself, the less he minds me stripping off in front of other men and throwing my boobs in their faces.
a4a Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 haha yeah i heard that line before too. here's one from the other side. I find that the more secure a man is within himself, the less he minds me stripping off in front of other men and throwing my boobs in their faces. :lmao: a4a
Author Woggle Posted January 12, 2006 Author Posted January 12, 2006 haha yeah i heard that line before too. here's one from the other side. I find that the more secure a man is within himself, the less he minds me stripping off in front of other men and throwing my boobs in their faces. That's different but some strippers do have happy relationships and some are even happily married. Jenna Jameson is married and she does porn. A better analogy is a secure man will make piece with his woman's vibrator. My gf has devices and I don't know what the hell they are for. I am not sure I want to know but I am fine with that so she should be fine with a few playboys and me going to stripclub every once in a blue moon.
lilmoma1973 Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 I'm fine with the porn...! In fact my SO has to check out porn sites as part of his job.... wonder why he likes work so much?!! I like porn and use porn... why the hell shouldn't he..!! Stip clubs don't really bother me either. Provided it's not an overly regular thing!! I've been, had lap dances. He's been, had lap dances. We're going to go together sometime...! I'm confident that he gets a darn site more from me than he does from the ladies on the pages, or the ones wiggling thier arse in his face!! My brother has to view porn too for his job also Little .. He works for Adam and Eve and is the head honcho of the mail room !! He likes porn and so does his wife.... My h says the same as Smoothie my h says why does he feel the need to look at porn he has me to fufill his fantasies with .. As for stripclubs he has been to them when he was teenager and he thinks the women in there are trashy and have no respect for himself!! He says he rather look at me then them..
SmoochieFace Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 That's different but some strippers do have happy relationships and some are even happily married. Jenna Jameson is married and she does porn. A better analogy is a secure man will make piece with his woman's vibrator. My gf has devices and I don't know what the hell they are for. I am not sure I want to know but I am fine with that so she should be fine with a few playboys and me going to stripclub every once in a blue moon. I don't understand this. Why aren't people satisfied with who they are with? I am involved and I don't have any porn stash or mags and my GF doesn't have any *devices*. What is this really all about?
Author Woggle Posted January 12, 2006 Author Posted January 12, 2006 I don't understand this. Why aren't people satisfied with who they are with? I am involved and I don't have any porn stash or mags and my GF doesn't have any *devices*. What is this really all about? We are satisfied but sometimes we like outside aids. It makes us human.
SmoochieFace Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 We are satisfied but sometimes we like outside aids. It makes us human. So those who don't like *outside aids* are what...?
Author Woggle Posted January 12, 2006 Author Posted January 12, 2006 So those who don't like *outside aids* are what...? To each their own but I just don't see it as a big deal. I even think that every now and then married couple should let their spouse go out and get laid by another person as long as they don't bring them home. It coule be like a card they cash in. It would save a lot of marriages.
lilmoma1973 Posted January 12, 2006 Posted January 12, 2006 So those who don't like *outside aids* are what...? Exactly what are we when we don't like outside aids?
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