Bugie78 Posted April 1 Share Posted April 1 So the title might make you say "no" right away but hear me out first for my specific situation. So 2 years ago I met the most amazing guy and we dated for 6 months. During the end of those 6 months so within the 5 month mark, his BEST friend decided to distance himself from him because he believed he depended too much on him. This caused a lot of stress on my ex. And that stress was taking a toll on and started wandering if he is in the right mindset to be in a relationship now etc etc. Then because he was so stressed out I told him he could take a break because my dumbass wanted what was best for him because that's what happens when you truly love someone lol and I was stupid. So fast forward he broke up in the end because he didn't think he was in the right state of mind to be in a relationship and needed to work on himself first. So fast forward to today, I finally put myself back on bumble after 2 years and made myself go on dates despite both not ending well. In which my mom was proud of me for doing this. So then because I get impatient I bought a month of bumble preminum so I am looking through the guys and one guy in particular stood out to me because of his first name and the location he lived in (the same location as my ex). And he also looked oddly familiar.(my ex introduced me to his friends so I met this guy). so I swiped right to ask him to make sure and it was. So I asked him how my ex was doing because I do wander all the time about that and he hasn't spoken to him for the same amount of time we been broken up. He didn't even know what happen. We BOTH agree we miss him. And he admits he is a good person and very funny and he been best friends with him for a close to 10 years. Anyways he wants ME to reach out to him and I am trying to get him to reach out to him (because he dumped me so I been told not to reach out) but he said he will think about it but like you can't make someone do something but I really see this a sign because what are the odds of this happening on a dating app in a very populated state of new jersey. Idk I am sorry this is a lot of words but his friend seems like he genuinly regrets the way he went about it and I know my ex was so upset when he did seperate himself just idk. Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted April 2 Share Posted April 2 (edited) A guy dated you for 6 months and then broke up with you for no other reason but because his friend distanced himself from him. He didn’t regret his decision. He didn’t say sorry. He didn’t try to get back together with you. He very obviously doesn’t have romantic feelings for you and doesn’t want to be with you. Why on Earth would you want to contact him now, hoping to get together again? There is no such hope. What does this have to do with his friend? If he wants to reconnect with your ex, then let him just do that. You should move on. Edited April 2 by Gebidozo 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 2 Share Posted April 2 7 hours ago, Bugie78 said: but I really see this a sign Girl, it's not. You're projecting. The friend isn't in contact with him anymore. How on earth would he even know your ex "genuinely regrets" the break up if he hasn't spoken to him since then and didn't even know what happened between you two? Obviously your ex never really said much about it to him, and surely not enough to indicate true regret. Otherwise the friend wouldn't have been in the dark about what happened. This guy dumped you 2 years ago and hasn't tried to look for you since. He's not interested or regretful or you'd have heard from him yourself by now. I can't fathom why you'd even entertain the idea. Please don't let loneliness cloud your better judgement here. I'm not trying to be harsh but rather to encourage you to give your head a good shake here. You're applying meaning and "signs" where there aren't any. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
enterthevoid Posted April 2 Share Posted April 2 Quote made myself go on dates despite both not ending well Both, as in 2? 2 dates is nothing. You may need to go on 10-20 first dates to find your partner. Dating 2 people is not a large enough sample size to conclude that there's nothing out there and you should settle for your ex. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 2 Share Posted April 2 Your ex's best mate was exactly right about your ex depending on him too much. The fact that he got so upset over losing a mate that he had to end your relationship is a giant red flag. In the meantime, you and the mate should leave your ex alone. Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted April 3 Share Posted April 3 On 4/2/2025 at 7:48 AM, Bugie78 said: So the title might make you say "no" right away but hear me out first for my specific situation. OK, I heard you out, and I still say no . Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted April 3 Share Posted April 3 I don't see why his best friend distancing himself from him would be a reason for your bf to break up with you. That's very weird. He must not have been that into you. I don't know why you would think it's a good idea to contact him now. The relationship is in the past and has been over for a long time. It's time to move on. On 4/1/2025 at 5:48 PM, Bugie78 said: Anyways he wants ME to reach out to him and I am trying to get him to reach out to him (because he dumped me so I been told not to reach out) but he said he will think about it but like you can't make someone do something If his ex friend wants to reach out to him, that's his choice and he's free to do that. I don't see what that has to do with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts